I need all the help that I can get to try to get back together

[Bob_M]

Hi my name is Bob M I did now that I was suffering from Depression it seems like that I've suffering from it for many Years & yet did now that I was suffering from Depression until I saw a new Dr & had filled in a form & well it was bad enough for me to see a Psychiatrist witch I now have to call her to make an appointment to see her.

I've known that could need help with a problem that I've but did now very much about it & how I could go about it so for many years I've kept it all to my self until I had meet a very nice Girl & we have been going together for about 2 years & now we are having problems with our lives we are living in the same unit but for what had happen she is now staying in her own room.

Some of what had happen yes is my fault & some is also her fault I've said things that I should have said & now I'm regretting it & I'm kicking my self & now that we are seeing the right papal we getting things back on the right track we are still talking to each other & trying to work this out.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Bob

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for coming here and reaching out with our post.

Well done to you on being able to seek out the appropriate professional assistance and to see a GP, who has then been able to refer you on to a psychiatrist.  I’m guessing by the sound of it, this has only happened recently – so if you’ve got any further questions to ask about ANYTHING, please get back to us and we’ll do our best to assist.

Did the doctor also put you on or prescribe you any medication?

In a relationship, it is very much a two-way street and both parties have to work at it – and it’s pleasing to hear that you both appear to be trying your best to commit and work at getting it smoothed over and back on track.  Well done again on another good achievement.

Again, I’d like to say thanx for coming here and please please, do write back if you feel ok to do so.

Neil

[White_Rose]

Hello Bob

Welcome to Beyond Blue. I am pleased you are taking steps to get well again and have decided to write in to Beyond Blue. Thank you.

Relationships can be very tricky to manage and as Neil has said, it takes both people to work at it all the time. Living with someone after living on your own can take a lot of adjusting. In time this can work out well, but you do need to give it time.

If I may make another observation? You speak about some things being her and some your fault. May I suggest that you forget about what has happened in the past and who said what to whom. This is called the blame game and gets you nowhere. Instead concentrate on how you can both make the future better and brighter. Getting someone to admit he/she is wrong only makes for resentment and further anger. Try to let it go and concentrate on the future.

It's good you are getting some professional help for your depression.  Perhaps you talk to the psychiatrist about the relationship with your girlfriend?

Please get back to us let us know how you are going. I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards

Mary

[Bob_M]

Hi there Neil1 thank you for welcoming me in to Beyond Blue I just needed some one to talk to so that is why I contacted Beyond Blue to voice my story for quite some time I've been feeling that some thing was wrong but I could not work it out until one day I went to see my Dr & she said that I was surfing from Depression & yes she did put me on some antidepressant meds I've been taken them for about a week now.

When I found out that I had depression I thought to my self that I thought that was & now that I'm getting treatment for it I should be ok once I've taken the meds that I'm now on.

My Girlfriend has ended our relationship all we are now is just good friend now & also Flatmates I'm sorry that it has gone that way but I still Love her & I will always will do so for a long time & if we can get back together then that will make me very happy that we have gotten back together again but I don't that she will wont to do that & go that far again.

Yes I will be going to see a Psychiatrist in about 2 weeks witch that I should done this a long time ago I hope that I will feel better after I've seen her.

There had been things that I've said that I've regretted on saying them & also things that I've done that had also upset her & by doing all that & saying what I had said she has now ended it all & for me to try to get it all back she have any thing more to do with it at all no matter what I say or do she wont have a bar of it at all.

We make mistakes in things in life & yes that is what I've done by saying the things that I had said & also do things that I had done & now I'm paying for it in a big way for as she dose not wont to get back together.

So I don't now what to do of trying to get every thing back

I need all the help that I can get to try to get back together.

I thank you for your help if you are able to do so it would be very good if I can get it all back but will it happen well only luck can only be on my side.

[Neil_1]

Hi Bob (although I do like your user-name also of Spike)    🙂

Again it’s very good that you’ve been to see a doc;  and that they’ve prescribed you medication – it does take a little while for them to fully kick in, just for info.  But yeah, once diagnosis has been made – that’s just the first step.  There’s still an awful lot to be done to either try and keep depression at bay or to even hopefully try to overcome it. 

Medication is just “one” aspect to it all – there are so many other avenues to assistance that need to be journeyed down in order to beat this thing.  I hope that your doc has given you some insight into this – but on here, we’re more than happy to offer any assistance that we can – so happily ask away with anything you’d like to know more about.

I’m guessing it must be a very difficult situation at your home now – living with your girlfriend, who is for all intents and purposes, now not your girlfriend as you’ve said she’s broken it off.  It sounds like you’d be more than willing to try again, but doesn’t sound so positive on her part.

Kind regards

Neil

[Bob_M]

Hi Neil yep my Girlfriend is determent on ending our relationship of course I don't wont have to go that way since mid July she has been pushing me away for as that what she had said that she has been doing & yes it has made me upset & yes all I have to do now is to except the way that she wants me to go as well.

Of Couse I still love her & that is what I will do for a very long time & yes she feels the same way as for me but not the way it was when we first meet over two years ago so all I can do now is to except the way that she wants to go I've tried to bring it back to the way it was but now I'm lost now for words I can't convince her that is what I want she has ended our relationship & now that is all I now can do & that is to except what she wants all she wants to be now is very good friends & that I'm just have to go a long with & nothing I can do about it at all yes it makes me Sade that I have to go that way but what can I do about it...         

[Neil_1]

Hi Bob

It does sound like a sad situation that you’re in.   And from hearing all from you, it’s going to make it just so much harder on you, if you continue to live in the same place.   I believe what you need know is to distance yourself from her;  as according to her, there is no chance of any recovery for your relationship.

When relationships end, there is a grieving time as well – and it depends on the person, the situation for how one will react to this.  I’m guessing that your girlfriend has already been through this and is ready to move on.  But for you, I think you’re still very much in this space at the moment – and the longer you stay there, the harder it will be for you.

Is there any possibility that either one of you could move out and go to another place – to really make the relationship finally over?

I’m saying this, as it just seems that it’s going to have a bad impact on you if things continue to stay “as is”.

I hope I haven’t said anything above that is upsetting for you – as I realise how much you wanted this to get back to what it was, but the inevitable seems to be the other way.

Would really like to hear from you again.

Neil

[Bob_M]

Hi Neil only the just the other day we had a nice long talk about what had happen & now all we are just friends when we had gone to Centrelink to sine up as defacto what we should have done & that is to talk it over first to see if we wonted to go that far but we didn't we had just jumped in to it from the deep end & now what we now have to do is try to find our way back to the sour & that is what we are now doing for some reason we should not gone as defacto but as boarder & logger she moves in with me as my boarder by paying me rent by the week.

Yes all we are now is just friends & by just benign just friends we are now getting on real good now & I think that is what should have happen right from the start.

Like she watchers my back & I do the same as for her & not only that we do all most every thing together like the washing of our cloths & the washing up & also the house work & not to mention the shopping that we do also together the way that we are going now is that we could not be any more happier then the way we now.

Yes I do still LOVE  her but it all now just good friends now & yes she feels the same way with me yes we do all the above things together & I think that is all that it will be from now on...  

[geoff]

dear Bob, I'm so pleased that my good friend Neil has kept this conversation going with you.

From what I can see, and it could quite easily happen with all of us, is that with pure love we jump in hook line and sinker, so to speak, and expect everything to be fine, but it doesn't always work out like this.

I don't know what was said, and it's none of my business, but now reality has kicked in, and the both of you are slowly rebuilding your relationship, and who knows what might happen, fingers crossed. Geoff.

[Bob_M]

Hi it has been a while since I've been in here the last time that I was in here was the 8/12/14 quite some time ago I'm going to have to come on here more often.

My flat mate well she is still here & still now matter what I say like the wrong thing coming out with the wrong saying & man dose she really go of the deep end we have been together now for all most now for four years now & still she still has not worked me out all I have done is that I've put it down to a slip of the toing we all do that from time to time its just that some people do things like more then others she should be able to work that out but then again some people just can't see it that way so what I'm going to have to do is & that is to watch my mouth from now on.

About three months ago I have now suffer with sleep apnoea & I now have machine to help me with my sleep the machine that I have at the moment it is on hire for two months & witch it has to go back soon then after the two months test I have to go back to the PA so that they let me now weather I will end up with my own machine or not I hope so for as through the night I stop breathing through the night...