I'm new here. This is my ramble.

[Ellen_o]

Hi everyone. I joined in 2018 but I can't remember so I'm starting fresh. I'm anxious about reaching out so please bear with me.

Hi, I'm 21 years old. I have decided to post as I feel I don't know what else to do at this point. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2017 as well as abandonment issues ( but I don't believe that was a real diagnose)

Last year my mum and I moved from our house of 13 years, she moved in with her partner of 5 years and I was moved into a small cottage next door (on the same block) The move has been hard on me.

At the moment I feel like I have depression. I'm low all the time, I don't have much energy, I have lost interest in the things I used to like doing, I often can't get out of bed, I find it hard to do day to day tasks, I have had this feeling once before after I left school.
Before my bother left home about 3-4 years ago he had serious depression and it was hard my mum and I (and obviously my brother)
I don't feel comfortable telling my mum, ever since the move I have felt like its been difficult to tell her how I feel. Whenever I do see her, I mask my emotions and it's getting exhausting to hide.

My mum and I also believe I am somewhere on the spectrum and have been since birth or a very young age This also has been hard to process.

I have been on medication before and seen a few therapists. going to therapy worked when I was a kid and again when I was 17 but not anymore and I have no interest in doing it again. I would possibly consider group therapy even those I have social anxiety. I just hate the thought of meeting someone new and always having to go over my so far life story plus I don't get talking about your feelings to a stranger (I also hate talking about my self). I'm sure its worked for many people and I'm happy it's helped them. I'm also not to keen on going back on medication. I had bad side effects last time.

I don't have anyone I can talk to since I have no friends. I left school at a young age. The last time I think I had a conversation with someone my age was at least 2 years ago.

I just want to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. I think I just need a connection.
I'm sorry, I hope I've made sense. I've re-written this so many times. Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Ellen_o,

Welcome to our friendly online community. We are grateful that you have reached out here to share your journey with us. We are so sorry to hear that you are feeling so low at the moment and have lost interest in the things that you once enjoyed doing. We understand that this feeling must be really overwhelming, especially if you struggle to open up to others and reach out. It sounds like you have a lot to offer people. We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will be able to offer you words of advice.

If you are interested, we would encourage you to get in touch with an organisation called Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage. You are also always welcome to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and offer you support and advice, and can also help you to look for groups and supports around your area that may be helpful.

Please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.

[Ellen_o]

Ellen_o said:

I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2017

I think it was actually the year before that. I think I was 16 or 17

[blondguy]

Hi Ellen_o

Great to have you back on the forums and good on you for reaching out! I understand your feelings where anxiety is concerned...and yes it can be a dark place to be in for sure

I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder in 1983 and it was awful Ellen..Most of the anxiety has gone yet it took a few years of help from my doc to help me find some peace.....Depending on the severity of your anxiety feelings it does take huge patience and a strong will to heal

Can I ask why you have ruled out talking with a doc/counsellor?

When I was 23 I didnt like talking to anyone either...It can be very uncomfortable to do, yet its part of the recovery process...even our GP can provide us with quality counselling as they have a better understanding of mental health than they used to when I was diagnosed in the '80s

Even though I dont have chronic anxiety anymore its taken me years to understand that the earlier we seek treatment the better our recovery will be 🙂

The forums are a rock solid safe and non judgemental place for you to post Ellen_o

You havent rambled at all...you have written an excellent thread!

any questions are always welcome....there are many gentle people on the forums that can be here for you

Paul