i have had depression for many years

[neleke]

i have had depression for many years and am taking antidepressants to help it. too much pressure on myself by other people brought it on. Plus my life with my husband and kids varies all the time. In the good times it is ok but in the bad times i am very depressed,have anxiety,stress and get upset easily. during the past year and half it has been hard as my husband was unemployed and our finances were tough. I would like any suggestions on how to cope and help myself in my down times.

[white knight]

Hi neleke, welcome here.

Some of my suggestions depends on the individual. I wrote and article a while ago called "what life's like at the end of the tunnel'. There are many more in this site. So read up.

Firstly, depression is a serious condition that should be treated as such.  IMO often it isnt given the respect it deserves. We think it will just go away.

There are some proactive things you might want to consider. If you live in the city with a high mortgage (two things that will be stressful) consider a move more to the country where property prices are lower and living is more relaxing. Work- consider a change in occupation. Shift work- dont do it or get rid of it. Diet- eat healthily, Exercise. Rid yourself of toxic people. My favourite- camping, even overnight. Some might think thats expensive- not so. A cheap tent, some take away and blow up matreses....the kids will love it....hence you will to.

At the moment the balance is a little way out in your life. Just need to tip it towards the good things and you'll be ok.

Tony WK

[neleke]

thank you. we already moved to the country 5 yrs ago because of finance and my health, iy helped a bit. it is when our situation changes that i get upset and stressed again. i have spoken to my gp and she is getting me to see a mental health nurse for a review and go from there. plus i have to get out there and exercise more. otivation is my biggest problem.

[white knight]

Hi again,

Some people with depression has their illness go in cycles. Latest research has found that these cycles need to be allowed to run through its course until it begins to improve before your efforts of motivation (for example) take effect.

So in some cases no matter how hard you try...it might not be the right time to expect too much from yourself and allow the cycle to do its thing before you expect results.

Seems to me you are on the right track. Maybe introduce happy times. My wife and I did some 10 pin bowling recently and had a ball. Movies etc.

Anyway good luck.  Tony WK

[Neil_1]

Hi Neleke

Welcome to Beyond Blue and it’s great you’ve posted a couple of times and have also had a couple of very helpful responses from White Knight – he’s a top fella, is Tony.

That’s great to hear that you’re taking these positive steps to address this illness – and yes, even coming here is a massive foot in the right direction, because as Tony said, that there’s many posts/threads on here with so much useful/helpful information, so if you do have some time, it’d be awesome to just scroll through and see what threads may be of interest to you.  You’ll be surprised at how many people out there are in a similar boat to yourself.

The mental health nurse is another positive step in the right direction and from there, you’ll be able to let them know exactly how you’re feeling, any background info, etc and hopefully they’ll be able to provide you with some suggestions, advice and some coping mechanisms also.

Not sure if you like to run/walk, cycle or swim (yes, winter is coming – or so they keep saying in Game of Thrones, but there’s many heated swimming pools around the traps) and any exercise like that is good – well let’s face it, any exercise is good.   Hells bells, even a solid gardening effort can get the pulse rate up.  And the thing with gardening, is that afterwards you can look back upon your handiwork at a job either well done – or perhaps half well done, as it was too big a job to finish in one go!

Do hope you can write back again.

Neil

[neleke]

thanks for replying neil, i am grateful for any suggestions. Yes i am taking small steps to improve, everything just seems a efffort lately. Even the kids are too much for me.

Gardening is one things that has helped me, especially as mum passed away 5yrs ago, 3mths after me moving to the country. due to certian things coming to our attention about my sister i was very upset and angry, gardening was my release of my anger. I have a nice garden to show for it and a special one for mum. It certianly works up a sweat, especially doing the lawns.

I appreciate any suggestions at the moment.

thankyou neleke

[Neil_1]

Hi there neleke

Thank you for your latest response.

Just in regards to your kids, do you ever get a bit of “me time”, kind of away from them?   Well, not away as such, but is your husband able to help share the load from time to time?    Are they school age?    Are they old enough to begin to help out a bit at home – the dishwasher or at the very least to keep their rooms as tidy as possible?    Old clothes to be put into the laundry instead of just where-ever they stepped out of them?

That sounds wonderful that you were able to set up a garden for your Mum also – that would be very special indeed.

It’s so unfortunate when siblings go ‘off the rails’ and it’s always kind of been there, but they choose to make their attentions come to the fore when a parent dies – well, this is what I’m currently experiencing – so I’ve kind of assumed a little about your situation, and so I could be way off track.  But just thought by the fleeting mention you gave of it, it sounds similar to what I’m going through and still am.  It’s not good at all.

Back to gardening – gardening being a release for your anger – that’s great that you’re able to do that.  Fortunately, I’m a gym goer and so I can get my emotional “fix” of pent up stuff by pounding out some big weight sessions – and then you go away afterwards, generally feeling better.

Sorry, not too many thoughts or suggestions in this post – ok, plenty of thoughts, but not many suggestions. 

Stay with us for as long as you wish – it’d be great to hear back from you again.

Kind regards

Neil