dear Harry, Sabrina and Gavin, I have to reply to all of you as it seems to be a similar case to what I had to go through.
I firstly want to say that what I am going to say happened with me and it doesn't indicate the same will happen to any of you, in which I sincerely hope that it doesn't.
It is really difficult for the person on the receiving end of your personal depression to understand or cope with your illness, and this is by no way your fault, but some can tolerate it for a certain period of time while others have no patience and want to leave with any children involved.
The reason for this can be that we are in denial, and the constant pleading to seek any sort of help falls on deaf ears, so your partner/spouse finally gives up, because they don't see depression as being the issue, but just being stubborn, so when we do decide to get help, it's too late.
So now we have two battles on our hands, depression and trying to get your wife back, and it's hard to distinguish between either, because we want both, to overcome this disease and the other to get your spouse/partner back.
So both interfere with each other, as it did for my ex, as she left me a few times, and always saying 'that if I come back you will just start drinking again', so I stopped, but as time passed, her impatience and her silence took me back to drinking, until finally she left for the last time and then we got divorced which intuitated.
So how can you tell your spouse/partner that it's depression which is the cause of this, well sometimes it's not easy, but maybe admit to them that you were in denial and didn't realise what it was doing to the relationship/marriage, but now I'm getting the help I need.
If by chance they say it's too late just say to them to keep their mind open about coming back.
I want to ask you all a question and this maybe a very difficult one to answer, and it's by no means wanting to hurt or upset you all, well maybe I can put it this way, I never ever thought that we would get divorced, and I was deeply hurt when it happened, but I could never live with her again, although we still talk and see each other, so I will leave it there, but please ask me any question and I can be more specific to you. Geoff.
