I had to leave because I didn't want people to notice the tears

[dunno]

Hi everyone,

I'll try to make this brief.  I was diagnosed with a depressed mood a bit over 12 months ago.  I was on medication for a short period and then went off as things were improving.

But it may have returned tonight.  I was at a the birthday party of closer family friend's daughter 5 year old daughter. Normally I would happily have a nice chat with the people around but even after 5 minutes seemingly listening to everyone talking about the holidays they had just come back from, were organising or the houses they were planning on buying.  I'm under quite a bit of financial stress at the moment so it really got to me.  But when people starting bringing out their presents and I knew mine was sitting back there that only cost me a couple of dollars I had to excuse myself when I started to tear up.  In the end I had to leave early because I didn't want people to notice the tears.

At this point I'm not adverse to going back to the doctor but I simply do not have time unless I miss work or study.  And where I am with those at the moment would have significant consequences if I took time off.

So any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Dunno  

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.  

So I’m hearing that if we can sort through this thing without having to get to a doctor for an appointment that will be a whole lot better for you due to work and study commitments?   If we can, then that would be great, so we’ll give it a go.  

May I ask that with the depressive mood that you suffered around a year ago – do you feel the symptoms that you came down with just recently were ‘similar’ to how you were feeling when previously diagnosed?  

And I guess more importantly now is the question – when you say you think it may have returned during the birthday party – are you saying that leading up to then, you were feeling for the most part, pretty good?  That for the most part, you hadn’t even thought that you might be struck down again with this illness??  

How were you the next day?  

Do you feel as though you’re under stress and strain now – or are you thinking that that might have just been a ‘one-off’ incident?  

I guess what I’m trying to determine here is to what extent you may feel that you are succumbing to the symptoms of a depressive illness?   If for the most part, you’ve been largely ‘ok’ of late, and you feel that the party was more of a ‘one-off’ event – then I would think – just run with things over this week – get back into your usual routine – be that working and at times studying.   Do that for how you normally go about it and just think of the party as just a bit of a blip on the radar.  

However, if through some of the questions raised above that you are indeed feeling that “yes, it wasn’t just at the party, but it IS with other things” – if this is the outcome for you, then I would still try to go about things this week as per usual – perhaps with even more concentrated efforts with your work and study. 

 But really, if you feel that it is starting to become ‘too large’ and too overwhelming for you – I really can’t come up with any other suggestion for you than perhaps a visit to your GP may well be on the cards?  

But hey, I’ve written a fair bit before I mentioned the word GP – so hopefully I’ve given you some things to think through first??  

Also can I just say, that ‘hey for a 5yo birthday party’ and for the present – they’ll be overwhelmed with the amount of presents they get – they open them up, quickly look at it, and then go to the next one and so on.  They’re just so excited – they aren’t going to be thinking, ‘oh gee, that’s sure not what I wanted’ – or something like that.  Nor will the other parents.  Just saying.  🙂  

Kind regards  

Neil

[white knight]

Hi Dunno, Neil has covered a lot of things I agree with there.  This feeling is not unlike what some other people endure when they retire (as I have) or become unemployed or go fro 2 incomes to one or other financial downturn.

I've only had one rejection in all my life. I gave my mother a card for mothers day (I've had issues with her all my life) with all my love written inside. She knew I had income issues. She asked "where's my present"?  to which I replied  "its in the card, the most priceless of all"   and so goes the value of things in life. 
When my daughters were young thy each got a beach ball for xmas.  We also had xmas stocking. they were delighted.

As the saying goes the best things in life are free. 

Finally, I'm a little concerned you went off your meds when you felt ok.  Often mental illness issues take a long time to settle. I'm not qualified to comment further but am raising it because you might not see a GP about this. Try to get ot a GP. Your health is too important.

regards   WK