I feel so lost and angry

[Makeslotsofcakes91]

Is anger a part of depression? I feel angry everyday. I feel sad and hopeless and I loose it so often now. I know things are getting worse for me. I spend most of my day just wanting to lay down alone. I don't want to talk to anyone I can't bring myself to leave the house and Im hurting the feelings of my family and those around me with my moods and I'm so sorry 

[Sophie_M]

Hey Makeslotsofcakes91,

Thank you for sharing here on the Forums. It sounds like a really tough time and we hope that talking about it here can be helpful.

Depression can involve a range of emotions (or seemingly a lack of any feelings at all) and anger or irritability can certainly be a part of this.  

Please know that you're not alone with this, you can call the Beyond Blue helpline at any time, on 1300 22 4636. They can help you talk this through and will also be able to help you plan what's next so that you have that support in place if you are interested. We hope you're able to be kind to yourself through this. It can be an overwhelming feeling, dealing with unexpected emotions.

We hope you can find some comfort and understanding on the forums, where other community members might be able to relate to what you’re going through.  

Kind regards,  

Sophie M  

[Earth Girl]

Hi Makeslotsofcakes91,

Anger can definitely stem from depression. When I was a teenager and was using a forum, I would completely lash out on people over little things and I didn't even realize how angry I got. I found out that it was from depression and psychosis which I now get treatment for.

People tend to get annoyed with people for getting mad so easily not realizing that the person is likely hurting to get mad that easily. Either something really rough is going on in their lives or they are hurting deeply on the inside or both.

I suggest seeing a doctor because it could be bipolar as well which is best to get treated as soon as you can because the longer you wait for something like that to get treated, the worse it can get and you'll be feeling even worse. Also, don't be afraid to let your family know that you are going through a hard time at the moment so that they can support you through this difficult time.

Take care and go easy on yourself. 🙂

[therising]

Hi Makeslotsofcakes91

First, just want to say you have to give yourself the credit you deserve when it comes to working to try and better understand how you feel, why you think the way you do and all the reasons for why you're behaving in ways that you find so hard to live with. There really is so much hard work in coming to better understand our self.

While I used to think, for years on and off, 'I'm depressed, I'm angry, I'm sad' etc, nowadays it tends to be 'I can sense/feel depressing levels of..., I can sense/feel angering levels of..., I can sense/feel saddening levels of...'. For example, I could be feeling what a tiny bit lost in life feels like or I could be feeling very lost in life or I could be feeling significantly lost in life and even desperately lost in life. When that lost feeling reaches depressing, angering and saddening levels, it's a whole other ball game. Often it's at this level that I need some form of guidance and someone to help me make better sense of where I am and the way forward. Being a sensitive gal, I figure it's not my fault I can feel where I'm at. The ability to feel where we're at definitely comes with challenges.

There can be so many different reasons for the anger factor:

• An angering level of frustration with myself and/or others. 'Why can you/I not work out why I feel the way I do?!'
• An angering level of disappointment with myself and/or others. 'Why can you/I not work out why I can't manage to achieve what I want to achieve?!'
• An angering level of a lack of vision. 'Why can you/I not work out what the best why forward looks like?!'
• An angering sense of loneliness. 'Why can you not feel with me, sense how I feel, so that I don't have to be left sensing the feeling of down alone?'
• An angering level of intolerance. 'Why are you leaving me to feel down, when what I need you to do is raise me?! Why can I not raise myself (my spirits, my level of consciousness/understanding etc)?'

Lots of reasons for why anger can be felt in a depression. There can be lots of angering triggers too, such as witnessing other people experiencing a sense of happiness (the kind we wish we could experience/feel), witnessing people with the kind of energy we wish we had, people who appear to have it all together and the list goes on.

I've found all emotions are telling, even anger. If I'm feeling/sensing anger I know it's for some good reason. Often it's the most sensitive people who can help me work out what it's about. It's like they can just get a better sense of it and then they're able to lead me to gain that same sense of what it's all about. I've found insensitive people typically don't help much at all. 🙂

[yours_truly]

Hey Makeslotsofcake91,

Anger can totally be linked to depression, in fact depression can lead to many unexpected emotions and random bursts of feeling. It can even be scary and may pose as a threat to yourself and others. It is important to remain understanding and try to implement some anger management control techniques in the moment. Be kind to yourself and don't hold yourself to the same standards as a fully functioning person. Mental illness can be debilitating and can strike morale. Wanting to lay down all day is extremely normal and is just a biological reaction to all the imbalance in the brain. 

All of your emotions are valid and you have nothing to apologise for. Just makes sure that you are not making things difficult for the people around you by taking up responsibilities that you cannot maintain and then being harsh to yourself for it. Try to foresee events so you can give yourself some leniency. 

I hope you now have a little more understanding around the why and maybe the what next,

Yours_truly