I feel so alone

[Hoodinny]

Only new here an I dont even know where to begin, it feels like I'm worthless, hopeless an domt know what to do😭

[Aaronsis]

Hi Hoodinny

Welcome to the BB community and for reaching out when I can hear how hopeless you are feeling right now. We are here for you to support and to comfort you in this time.

If you would like to chat some more and share how you are feeling we are here for you , not to judge or criticize just to listen.

I hope you would like to come back and chat, huge hugs to you.

AS

[White_Rose]

Dear Hoodinny

Welcome to the forum. You have made a good start by joining beyondblue and finding this forum, not to mention starting your own first thread. Congratulations.

Depression is a horrible place to be and the black dog will whisper constantly in your ear to tell you what a bad person you are. Not true but it can be very persuasive.

Can we start with getting to know you a little more? Are you at school/uni/have a job? What do you like doing? Perhaps you can tell us how long you have felt this way and if you have asked for any professional help. Can you talk to your GP about this?

OK no more questions. Simply tell us what you can about yourself and keep it to those parts you feel comfortable in revealing. Love to hear from you again.

Mary

[Hoodinny]

Thank you so much for the reply both AS an Mary, at the moment in recovering for my second back operation its been 8 weeks since I had it done an most of the pain is still there witch can be managed with my painkillers, but when I can go back an look for work is who is going to hire someone that has beem on work cover for this three time an two operations, the feelings of hopelessness an feeling worthless by don't being able to do much, like I cant walk my dog, bonnie has been stuck in the backyard for over 3 mths now, she sit at the gate looking at me like "dad take me for a walk" an I cant, that's just one thing that gets to me an its so minor, I cant even talk to my other half about this as i dont want to burnan her with all my stuff as she is doing so much for me as it is, when she isn't at home a cry all the time, it just feels like I am sinking an cant stop.

An yes I've seen an told my GP an he has started me on a mental health plan but I cant get in to see the physc till the 17th of next month, so i came here just for a lil support.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Hoodinny

Great to chat to you some more and I am really pleased to hear that you have seen your GP and are beginning your mental health plan, I know it is hard in the meantime as you wait for your psych appointment.

Until then we are here for you, in these times when you feel so sad and that you feel overwhelmed and defeated. I can hear how much it hurts to not be able to walk your dog, can I suggest one of those stick things:

https://dogapproved.co/products/tennis-ball-throwing-club?variant=31058142232658&currency=AUD&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-c33i9uL5gIVFYiPCh1JfgfgEAQYASABEgIvTPD_BwE

Something like this might help you to get at least to the back door to be able to give Bonnie a fun and for you to engage with her and this might too improve your happiness. I hear you say that you can't talk to you other half about how you are feeling as she does so much for you already, do you think that she might see how sad you are and actually want to talk about this with you and be there to support you through this time? You are not a burden at all, you are going through a rough time and you are making steps to get well, that is so great.

I am "happy" that is not the right word but perhaps "relieved" that you can cry and get some of the emotion out, it is so important to do, so please don't beat yourself up about this. Some people are in such a state that they cannot cry and the hurt and pain is trapped.

I think that there will be plenty of people out there that will give you a go with regards to employment, perhaps you may not be able to do the work that you once did before due to limitations with your back but I feel like employers have changed so much and they are willing to give people a go, that mental health and injury are not seen as they used to. I say this as my brother, 44, mental health issues, has never worked a day in his life..has just woken up and got his first job, he is actually really enjoying it and they are happy with him. There is hope.

I am not sure if I have helped at all but I am so glad you have reached out for some support, we are here for you Hoodinny.

Hugs

AS

[White_Rose]

Hello Hoodinny

Sorry to hear about your surgery. It can be frustrating when all you want to do is get up, walk around and feel useful. This is when the dog whispers are most unhelpful. As AS has said, you are not a burden to your partner who clearly loves you and wants the best for you. We all feel a bit guilty asking a busy person to do something we used to do but now cannot, at least for a while. Take up Aaronsis suggestion for playing with your dog, adapting it to your circumstances. That way you get the enjoyment and your dog gets the exercise. Double bonus is that you get into the sunshine which is good for you (so long as you don't stay in it long).

I find it is the small things that trip us up. It's obvious you cannot do the big things so get help but being able to play with Bonnie outdoors is not as obvious.

Waiting for that first psych appointment can seem like forever. It will roll round but in the meantime see what you can do sitting in the garden or patio, if you have one. I like reading but it's not for everyone. If possible, have a go at something you have always wanted to try. By the time you are walking again you may have found a new hobby.

Lovely chatting. Please post again.

Mary