I feel as if I am the ball in a tennis match

[iamsotired]

I feel as if I am the ball in a tennis match

i go from way on the negative to the net or just over and occasionally way to the positive side. But the positive side does not make me feel any better

last Friday I was awarded 3rd place in an international writing competition. Wow!

well my brain tells me that is great, but I just feel nothing, flat..........

i take lots of medication, work hard at alternative activities that SHOULD generate some positive inner response ( cognitive therapy and all

nothing seems to work...

does anything work?

it is all just tiring getting up and moving forward with no real enthusiasm  

[Neil_1]

Hi iamsotired

Geoff explained it beautifully in his latest post ... so I will just follow up by saying, that all we can do is to try and advance with little, baby steps.

Just take each day as it comes ... and we continue to do all the things that we're expected to do.  I do believe that I'll climb out of this awful hole that I'm currently in - to climb out of it, but not be rid of the 'dog', but to at least get to a place where I can think, 'well hey, this is a little better than it used to be'.  I believe that - however, when that will happen, is anybody's guess.

So onward we go ... travelling slowly and cautiously ...

Kind regards

Neil

ps:  for your story, I think yes, that should be something to discuss with your psych, cause it was my psych who suggested I do my story as a therapeutic kind of exercise.  And strangely enough it has been ... it's been a good feeling to unload, especially things that were in my head, that I've always kept there and never told anyone.

[iamsotired]

Dear Geoff

You could be right for me normal is failure

[iamsotired]

Thank you Neil

I have started to write about my experience with breast cancer at 28, but stopped because at 58 how I was treated is still too painful.

But I hear you and will try my whole life (well there's a story and...)

Take care

Anita

[gibby3794]

i am currently feeling the same as most on this thread, ive just got another job (it is possibly an apprenticeship) and i should be happy as that is what i have wanted for months, dont get me wrong i am happy but i dont feel it, im actually scared and worried about it instead, i still have my old job if it doesnt work out but im still scared of not doing shifts at dominos and starting as a apprentice chef, i feel so sorry for all of you as i know how it feels but at least i know why i am not actually happy about anything lately and know that my medication is actually doing something lol