I don't understand what's happening

[Madi2007]

I have been struggling a lot with my mental health since the start of February and it took me until Easter to even find the courage to tell my best friend what I was going through because I didn't know how she was going to react let alone the rest of the group. Since I told my best friend she has been by my side through everything even if I’ve been getting really annoying talking about my problems. Once we got back to school in term 2 she tried to convince me in every way possible to tell someone and get help from someone. After a little while of me being at my worst and trying to be ok around everyone I gave up on everything and knew that I had to do something to help myself. So since i've been struggling i've now seen a school counsellor to get help and even though I struggled to get there I think i've started to see a change but not all the time just every now and then i'll feel so much happier and happier than i've been in so long. 

My birthday was in March and what kept me going after I started struggling was looking forward to seeing my friends for my birthday and because I was struggling so much at the time I made my birthday into this big party with my closest friends just so that I had something to look forward to. 

I don't know whats going on with me and I don't know if its depression or that i'm just going through a rough patch in life. All my symptoms are pointing to depression but even though I don't know what I have i'm trying my hardest to be ok around everyone even tho i'm not and i'm glad i've told a few people, its really take some weight off my shoulders. 

I know I haven't said much about how I feel in this but at least i've given a little bit of information and maybe someone will be able to give some tips just off what i've written so far. I will write more in depth once I find the guts to share how I feel. 

Thank you!

[mmMekitty]

Thank you, Maddi2007, for coming here & telling us what's been going on. 

I'm glad you have some friends who support you, the school counsellor, too, & now, reaching out to BB community, many of whom are young people like yourself.

I've been around BB for a little while now, & I can affirm that people here are caring & supportive, are willing to listen & we offer any advice we can. It's fine to take your time,, only tell us what you feel comfortable with - no pressure.

You might like to check out the pages in 'People like me' - Young people'.

May I ask, have you been able to talk to your parent/s about these things you have been going through? No need to answer if you don't want to. For myself, when I was young, I couldn't talk to my parents about what I was going through. It would have been so much better if I had thought I had their support.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[divine_inner_goddess]

Hi Madi2007, 

Well done you for reaching out to your friends, the school counsellor and this forum! That is such a brave step!

I can relate to the difficulty with telling people that you are struggling, and trying to be ok in front of everyone when you're actually not ok. It's really hard. A lot of effort and energy. It must be really hard for you at school to have to do that all the time. I am really glad you have connected with the school counsellor so at least there is a safe place where you can actually drop your guard and be yourself - not ok. 

I actually used to be a school counsellor! I worked with many young people like yourself. It's very common for people to say that they feel relieved and like a weight has been lifted off their shoulders once they start talking about it. I think sharing with a trusted person is so healing. It's that human connection that helps to remind us that we are not alone. You are not alone. There are people who can support you. There are so many of us on here that are experiencing mental health challenges. 

For me, it all got too much, holding myself together and trying to be ok when I really wasn't ok. I had to stop working and socialising, even going shopping was too overwhelming. And then it has been a slow process of building myself back up again and just doing the things that I can handle at that point in time. I have a few close friends that I can confide in and who know that I am struggling. I hang out with them because I don't have to try and pretend that I am ok. What I have realised over the years as I have struggled with my mental health is that it is ok to be not ok. I am getting better at reaching out to my friends and family when I am really low and I need help. It's not easy, but it's getting easier over time. I also have lots of other professional support as well. A psychologist, a very caring and understanding GP and some other supports as well. 

I like the way you had a birthday party with your close friends. It sounds like having something to look forward to was very helpful for you. And it sounds like having your close friends around you was helpful. Do more of that! Do more of what feels good and feels right for you. 

I hope that helps a little. And as mmMekitty said, there is also a forum for young people. 

All the best and take care, 

DIG (divine inner goddess)