I don't know where to turn.

[Bigfish1011]

Hi my name is Chris,

I have been suffering from multiple diagnosed disorders for most of my life, the earliest being when i was 7, i am now 19.

I have been in and out of psychiatrists and psychologists my whole life, it just does not seem to get better. Professionals have seemed to be able to somewhat ease my OCD, this was my biggest problem for a while, but now other problems seems to be arising. The biggest at the moment being my depression and anxiety issues.

I went through a stage of self harm, which is now under wraps. But i seem to be finding more destructive ways to deal with depression and anxiety.

I feel an overwhelming urge to make people happy around me even if it comes at the price of my own mental health, for example, recently i had a fight with my girlfriend of about 2 months, it is a fairly new relationship by my standards, instead of standing up for my morals, i automatically went in to a submissive mode and tried everything to make her happy again and resolve the argument, but i did fail and things haven't been the same with us since, i am constantly worrying day and night that she is going to dump me, which has made me fall into one of my oldest habits, which is drinking, to ease the anxiety i am feeling.

My depression recently is also affecting my new job, as a bottle shop retailer, i spend most of my day alone, which is a lot of time to think when i am not serving customers or restocking, i missed my first shift this week, just because i wanted to sleep all day and forget about everything.

I am worried this drinking habit is also going to evolve into a deeper problem, as i have a long family line of alcoholics.

I don't know what to do and who to turn to guys...i really need help, but i feel i have exhausted all the help i can get at this stage. I am on medication, i have regular appointments with professionals and i surround myself with family for support. I'm just worried about what i might do next.

[geoff]

dear Chris, trying to make other people around you to be happy can happen many times, but because you have OCD, then this is a usual habit in having OCD.

Depression, anxiety and OCD equals three different types which are difficult to be able to control, because which one of these do you begin with in trying to overcome.

Well OCD can be managed to a certain degree, but if you have it as long as I have ( 54 yrs) then it's embedded in me and now I'm too old to change, which sounds terrible ONLY being 59. lol.

Actually your story sounds very similar to mine, as I also worked in pubs, and as my depression became to control me, I also took to alcohol just to numb all my thoughts, but they are still there the next day, so the process starts all over again.

Please don't get me wrong, but I'm just saying this, that I am worried that because you have spare time that you refrain from drinking while you are working, as this would be easy to do, especially if you can hold your alcohol, but as an owner and then a manager I could drink while working, whether this is good or bad would depend on individuals.

My concern is 'what you might do next', please there are ways to overcome these problems, as now I only drink socially.

The professional who has helped you to ease your OCD is good, but have they also addressed your anxiety and depression, as it's really a closed unit that has to rectified, and on top of this your alcohol consumption, just saying.

Please get back to us. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi Chris

What you’re battling at such a young age is an awful lot and a heavy load. It is very pleasing to read that you have regular appointments with your professionals, but as Geoff suggested, are they also able to help you through with your depression and anxiety??

Chris it must have been one doozy of an argument, if you’re still worried that she is going to leave you?  Instead of the drinking at night, is there no way you can spend some quality ‘dry’ time with your girlfriend?  Is your relationship still rocky or do you think that it is retrievable?  Can you possibly organise a dinner or a movie;  or just a coffee or lunch with her??  This I think could be crucial to how you’ll get through this next little phase.

As you’ve also got a lot there to ponder on … is it possible if you can list down all the things that are troubling you?  List can be as long or as short as you like.  On another page, can you list down ALL the positives in your life and again list can be as long or as short.  Don’t do this all in one sitting … create it and do some, but leave it for a while and go away and while you’re doing other things, you may think of other things (good or bad) so that you can add those. 

This could then be something that you could take along to your next appointment which “may” just spark something within you to try and target in the future?   Just a thought.

Cheers Chris, and please do get back to us with how you’re travelling and feeling

Neil