I don’t know what to do

[Lost not found]

So I’m kind of new to this but I’ll try my best.

for the past 2 years I’ve been feeling really depressed, obviously not all the time but more than I would like aha. Last year I was in a really bad place to where I needed counselling, but I didn’t really like being there so I just acted fine and I was fine, for a few months until I started feeling depressed again and I’ve felt this way ever since.

I don’t want to feel like this, it ruins my days and I just feel tired all the time. I think I should see someone to try and get medication but whenever I try and go see someone I get really anxiety and I can’t go into the hospital, it’s almost like a panic attack. I also don’t want to tell me parents that I’m back in that state because they were so hurt last year, I don’t want to put them through anything like that again, so I’m trying to do it by myself. My friends don’t know about it, but I’m thinking about telling them instead of my parents. Since I’m 18 it should be fine to get the medication by myself right?

anyway I’m just kinda asking what I should do, kinda lost at the moment and I’m looking for help 🙃

[Aaronsis]

Hi Lost not found

I am so glad that you have found yourself here for some support and some comfort at this time. I can hear how over it you are but also confused and not really sure where to turn to next.

It is great to talk and to confide with your friends how you are feeling but I think that the best place to go really is to see your GP, he/she will be able to chat to you and to address the panic attacks and the anxiety, you are most certainly not alone and they deal with these kinds of concerns everyday.

Also if you feel like you need something more quickly you can always give the Kid Helpline a call 1800 55 1800, they are professionals and aim at helping people who are under 25 years old.

I understand that you don't want to tell your parents as i will hurt them, but they are probably only hurt out of concern for you as they love you and want the best for you, when you are hurting so are they. You can deal with this on your own as you are 18 and get medication and support from a doctor but it would be really great to have the support from your family too.

It is so brave of you to reach out and speak up and I hope you feel some relief from doing so here, you are among friends and we are here for you.

With regards to the counselling, sometimes it take a few therapists to find the right one that we connect with, just like friends and people we meet in life, we don't connect with everyone, so to get the full benefit of their profession it is helpful to open up and to be honest and chat, this is so much easier and almost comes naturally when you have that connection. My point is perhaps you just need to try a different counsellor that connects with you and can help you.

Hugs to you Lost not found and I hope to chat to you some more.

AS

[Lost not found]

Thank you

[Truetomyself]

Hi Lost not found,
Depression is hard. I hear you. I have had it for a long time and was formally diagnosed at 22.
It can be hard to find a counsellor or professional you feel comfortable with.
It has taken me a lot of time.
Maybe, I know I was not really ready or wanted to open up. One because I didn't feel comfortable and two I didn't have the connection with the right person.
But trust me the first person does not have to be the last.
I understand the fact you don't want to hurt your parents. I wanted to end it all. I have never felt such guilt and shame as I did after that. It really made it hard to look at myself let alone contact or try to speak to my mum especially. I felt like I had caused so much pain and still to this day I find it hard.
I am f o rtunate I have an aunty who I can turn to and understands so I reach out to her. But I still feel all those feelings of being a burden. But I will if I have to.
I understand the anxiety and panic attacks as I have these and some times places, memories or who knows why there can be triggers.
It is so hard doing it alone. But there are always ways to get help.
There is the kids help line, Beyond Blue but if you are really struggling at any time I know I have called the mental health triage line in my state. I spoke to a trained professional and helped me on really hard days, but also gave me some direction.
You can tell friends of course. They should be there for you. You might want to pick one or two friends you are especially comfortable with.
Then they can support you on your journey and take the first steps.
I really do think it is great you are ready to try again.
I know I have sometimes had to try again and again so do not be disheartened at any time.
But just start the discussion and see how you go.
Then maybe have an idea of how what you would like them to have your help with.
I write it down as I cry a lot and it helps me stay on track when talking to others. I am not sure if this would help even if it is a few dot points.
You can access professional help and medication if you are ready to do it. You are 18.
In time you may be feeling then you are ready to reach out to your family.
Every family situation is different and sometimes complex, so if you feel you can't yet it is okay. You will get there.
Just focus on you if you need to for now.
We are all here in support and not judgement.
Please come back any time you need it.
Look after yourself.
😊

[KR66]

Hay you, accepting the stuff we dont like takes time.