I don't even know if I need help

[ItIsJustMe]

Hey,

I recently started university & I really want to do well on what I'm doing, yet I feel demotivated most of the times. There are also times when I think about how I could get away from all the stress and pressure if I disappear, like I could run away. (Would never act on it, just thoughts). I get anxious when I'm thinking about failing. I did the "Are you depressed" test on the website & it said that I am. But idk isn't it normal to be demotivated sometimes & want to distance yourself from everyone and just want to stay in your bed"? Not wanting to get up?

🙂

[Quercus]

Hi ItIsJustMe and welcome to the forums,

To answer your question yes it is normal to be down and unmotivated sometimes. But it depends on how long this feeling lasts and whether these feelings are normal or a problem for YOU.

A good example is a relationship break up. For a while we feel very sad and low and sometimes want to isolate ourselves. But that doesn't automatically mean we're depressed. It means we're experiencing normal human emotions. Hurt. Pain. Grief. Anger. Regret. Fear. Loneliness.

A clue how to gauge what is nor.al and what may be a problem is in the beginning of the questionnaire...

"In the last few weeks".

Basically if you feel really crap but it passes perhaps it is a normal reaction (maybe you were getting a cold, maybe you were tired or rundown, maybe something has happened and you are sad or grieving or angry...who knows).

But if the feelings linger or keep returning or you feel like this all the time (or if you just do not feel like yourself) it is a good idea to ask for help.

On the forums you will often hear people mention to do the K10 checklist multiple times. Different times of day. If you're consistently scoring as at risk over a period of time you should consider taking your results to the doctor and having a solid chat about how you are feeling.

At the end of the day only you know what is happening in your head and if it isn't quite right for you.

I hope this helps.

Nat

[geoff]

Hello ItIsJudtMe, and a warm welcome to you.

Nat has offered some great advice and a lack of motivation is difficult because there could be other issues that may contribute to how you are feeling so your willpower needed to start something else may not be there.

If you have done the test and it says you are depressed then I'm very sorry, because being sad for such a long period means depression, and not wanting to get out of bed also indicates the same, sure there are times when you want to have a sleep in but this is on a weekend or a holiday not on a work or uni day.

I think we all want to get away from our stress, pressure and decision making but as soon as we block these feelings and can't rationise them then there is a problem and by booking an appointment with your doctor is most certainly advisable.

You could see the counsellor at uni, however your GP may refer you on to a psychologist with a free 10 sessions which would be something I would suggest.

You may have the option of deferring uni and there is nothing wrong in doing this, but please get the support you need.

Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi ItIsJustMe,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for being here!

You’ve been given some great posts already so the only thing I really want to add is that - you don’t need to meet a criteria to go to therapy! I’ve been to a lot of therapists and one of my therapists said she wished everyone could go to therapy - just because you learn so much about yourself.

In a sense, does it matter if it’s normal that you’re feeling so demotivated? What difference would it make if it was or it wasn’t?
I personally think what matters is that you’d like things to change - even if that means running away (which I’ve totally thought about too btw!).

Hope this gives you something to think about!

Also side-note: the ‘are you depressed websites’ are not very good 😛 Even if they ask you to scale it over the last 2-4 weeks if you’re having a bad day it’s easy to suddenly be diagnosed with major depression and the next day have it disappear!

[AndyR]

Hi ItIsJustMe

Your post really touched me because I taught at a Uni for a long long time and your hopes and your doubts are so familiar. Many many people who start uni experience the sorts of things you describe because it can be pretty overwhelming - you've got all these new subjects and the expectations of your lecturers and tutors telling you what you have to do and you're among a whole bunch of new people you might want to connect with but aren't sure how, and then there's the attending classes and having to contribute when you're uncertain and the outside of class work not to mention they start piling on the assignments and talking about what's needed to pass as though you somehow know exactly what they mean and what you have to do to succeed. It's very different to work life or secondary school where things are much more structured. The most frightening aspect can be, as I saw so often, students are pretty much left to get on with it by themselves. And that's tough.

Like you say, 'you really want to do well' and then WHAM you're in this new strange environment that can be scary - so its no wonder you worry about failing. And it's so common, the newness, the strangeness can be a demotivating thing, 'it's scary so I won't go'.

I'm just throwing thoughts in here, is the demotivating coming from anything I've mentioned? Does the work load seem huge? How do you approach the day when you have class commitments, have you set up a routine for each subject you're doing? Have you begun to make contact with others you are studying with?

All of these can help. Are there things not related to study you can do on campus to make the experience more enjoyable - like joining some of the clubs and societies. All unis offer student assistance and support especially for new students, there's programs that help you work out how to study or get assistance in particular areas of your course. Can you work out where your Uni has support services and go and see them, they understand the challenges of being new and wanting to do well and worrying about succeeding. Some of their advice and services may help you overcome the feelings of demotivation for something you want to do well in. Because that's the thing to hang on to - you want to do well.

The other big question I always used to ask is are you doing the course you want to do, because doing something that isn't really your preferred interest can be really downing and demotivating.

Hoping this helps in some way

Andy