I compulsively lie about small things and I can’t help it

[Eizie]

Hi,

I’m new here, but I’m looking for some support in regards to lying. Ever since I was young I had a brother whom was addicted to meth and myself and my family were constantly belittled and abused verbally. I learnt to lie about everything just so it wouldn’t trigger my brother because he was a ticking time bomb and would go into rage for the smallest things, the problem is it’s continued into my adult hood and I now lie to make things seem better than they are or so I don’t get the wrong reaction out of someone. My partner is constantly frustrated because he will ask if I used something of his and if I have I say no anyway because I’m scared of the reaction (not that he reacts) and he just says “just don’t lie it’s not hard” but I honestly can’t help it, I never tell big lies just little lies but honestly I just don’t know how to stop. I’ve never spoken to someone about my problems, I have anxiety and depression also which I’m on medication for and I feel like I’m trying to hold up this persona of being so happy and bubbly that I almost think I believe it myself. I don’t even know where to start, I’m 24 and I’ve never seen someone or spoken to a professional for the hell I went through as a child/teenager and I think it’s effected everything in my life- help me

[geoff]

Hi Eizie, can I offer you a warm welcome.

I know and understand what you have said but I'm sure many people are dishonest on occasion and the lies we tell are believable and may have some truthful aspects to them, and its possible people may lie about important as well as unimportant matters, especially if your brother was addicted to meth.

A simple example is if he needs money to buy his meth you would say that you didn't have any money to give him, so is this a lie or something to protect him from buying any more or looking after your own finances or both.

Well for those people who want to help him stop would consider this as being a lie but only for his own benefit.

It's a habit you develop and not all of us are innocent, imagine if someone asks you if you are depressed and say no, but knowing deep down you are struggling.

Can I suggest that you see your doctor who may refer you onto a psychologist using the mental health plan, this entitles you to 10 Medibank paid sessions, this would be well worth your effort.

You can't keep putting up this fake persona, it's not going to help you.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Devine09]

Hi Eizie I can really relate to what you are saying. I had a lot of trauma during childhood too and lie to make my life sound better. Now in adulthood I feel like I don’t know what is true and what is a lie because I’ve lied so much. The other thing is that going to talk to someone about this isn’t as simple as it seems. I personally worry what someone will think of me after I tell them this. If it makes them never trust me again. It is hard making friendships as I find myself making my life fantastic and happy then going home and crying.

I wish I had an answer for you but I’m sorry I don’t . I just wanted you to know that your not alone and that your not a bad person - you are just a person trying to survive.