I am absolutely terrified

[Jesse1]

This is my first post ever on BB

I suffer from chronic depression and I have turned to alcohol to self medicate although it is getting way out of hand now.

I am currently 25 and only on centrelink. I want to get into rehab but there is a long wait. All I seem to do these days is just be on my computer, drink way too much wine and putting every day of my life off. I am just hoping to talk to someone about this and what I could possibly do to better my life.

I am desperate.

Thank you for reading, Jesse

[Jesse1]

I think it would be ideal to talk to my Doctor about it today. This going to be tough to beat but I know it's what is best for me. After experiencing all the incoherent thought patterns and having the worst vivid night mare (100% from the alcohol)

It has frightened me away from the substance. It's certainly making my depression and anxiety a lot worse as well.

Which is the medication called that the doctor could prescribe for me?

And thanks for having me.

Jesse

[james1]

Hey Jesse about the nightmares, I'd suggest you read my other thread called I don't know what to say under the depression board. Carol/Lost Girl had an excellent post with suggestions on page 3 or 4

James

[blondguy]

Hello Jesse

Seeing your doc will help you heal and most of the time feel better afterwards.

Your doctor may prescribe anti-depressants but thats a hard one for us as we really arent qualified to answer

Your doctor is like a gift waiting for you. They choose being a doctor for a career because they want help people just like us Jesse.

I know you dont feel strong right now but I feel you are stronger than you know!

It would be great if you could post back and let us know how you went today

My kindest thoughts

Paul

[geoff]

hi Jessie, unfortunately we are not allowed to mention the medication, but if you just say to them 'that you have been told that there is some type of medication which will stop my urge for alcohol' or google this 'is there medication to stop me drinking alcohol' which will mention one name to mention to your doctor.
There are a few different types where they want to start you off on the weaker brand, which my help you but this depends on your bodily constitution going up to the brand that is mentioned on the google site I have given you.
If you drink while taking this medication you won't get any buzz, like when you are getting drunk, it doesn't happen and could make you sick, now that I have mentioned being sick there is another type which will make you vomit if you drink alcohol while taking it, that's it's intention, but I think doctors are reluctant to prescribe this type, because it depletes your vitamens etc.
Have a look at the site I have given you to google. Geoff.

[Jesse1]

I managed to get some meds to help with my withdrawal.

I nearly went and bought a beer today but decided not to so pat on the back for that!

I'm feeling much calmer from the medication which is good. I plan to go to the pub with my brother tonight and see if I can just be around alcohol without drinking it.

I hope I don't give in

Jesse

[james1]

Can you tell your brother to also make sure you don't have a drink?

Well done on not buying a beer 🙂

[Jesse1]

Unfortunately today being a Saturday, I decided to give in and buy myself a bottle of wine.

The withdrawal symptoms get can a bit too much for me to handle. I still want to beat this addiction but it's going to take me some time. The best thing for me is to get into this rehab. It's only about a week and a bit untill I get this assessment call. I am fortunate to have a very supportive uncle who has been through the exact same thing himself.

I got a little silly and had some of my meds whilst drinking last night aswell. I did however had an incredible sleep but woke up with some intense anxiety and decided to take my meds straight away.

Today should be a good day though. I'm expecting a call from one of my good friends I met at a mental health stay unit.

It would be nice to have a good conversation with her over the phone. After that I'm going to enjoy the leftovers I had from last nights dinner (beef chow mien) it tastes incredible lol.

And then spent the afternoon at my brothers house.

Today should be a fairy good Saturday for me 🙂

Jesse

[james1]

Hey Jesse,

Here's the truth: all recoveries are 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. But hey, it's still 1 step forward in the long run.

You're doing well.

I went for a run today and didn't hurt myself which is good. Still feeling rubbish, but I got out and did stuff today.

Hope the rest of your day goes well.

Sounds like you're close to your uncle? Does he live close?

James

[Jesse1]

It's good you got out and about though
That's what I struggle with the most. I'm low on cash though so buying myself a wine is going to be difficult. Right now this morning though I'm not experiencing much withdrawal which is good.

I'm going to see my GP today again to talk more about my mental health.

My uncle and I aren't the closest but since the crisis he is being very supportive of me.

Last night I only had 1 bottle of wine rather than getting blasted on two. Had a great sleep and feeling okay today. I just sigh that I don't have many friends but this is all just a phase in my life I guess.

Jesse

[james1]

Good on you for cutting down from 2 to 1 bottle. I think it's great to keep trying to cut it and hopefully reach a goal where you don't even need to reach for the bottle. Of course, any slip ups are okay. The road to recovery's long and hard, but you can always remind yourself that even when you slip up, you're still making a ​mental change.

I'm talking to my psychologist today and hopefully seeing a GP. It sucks that they don't bulk bill, but oh well. I'm thinking I should get started on my medication finally. Let us know how you go.

I don't really have many friends around me either. I have a few but nobody I feel super comfortable talking to about this all the time. Though, to be honest, I wouldn't even know what to say. I guess it's more about just having someone physically with you, even if you just sit and eat in silence.

Do you do any exercise during the week? Any sports or things you like?