How to manage work!

[MissJ94]

I have a history of bipolar, depression and anxiety.
Lately with work issues and management not giving a crap about their employees ive been having heaps of stress related to work. This stress is now affecting my mental health where now ive had self-destructive thoughts on my way to work so i dont have to be here. Im so over working here and cant leave until i get another job because im not in a financial position to do so. Plus the landlords have put my rent up recently so its struggle street. Centrelink say i earn too much too to be on any payment so things are really tough.

Its all majorly affecting me. Ill have times im binge eating due to stress but times i wont eat for days due to stress. Im having headaches daily and my blood pressure has been high too. The doctor says its becaus eim stressed and also need to try to lose weight. Loosing weight is almost impossible when you have other conditions preventing it combined with this stress and depression and physical and mental exhaustion.

I just dont know what to do. I feel sick just thinking about everything thats going on. I also go back to placement in 3 weeks and not sure how im going to manage because of my mental health!
Im crying daily because im not coping at all.

I cant get in to see my psychologist until mid april now so it seems theres nothing i can do.
I just dont know what to do anymore. Im just over everything.

[Sophie_M]

Hey MissJ94,

Thank you for reaching out tonight and sharing what you are going through. We are so sorry you are having issues with work and experiencing enormous amounts of stress due to that. Work stress can hugely impact our lives and makes it very difficult to cope with day-to-day situations. We can really hear how hard it has been for you and how overwhelmed you are feeling.  Please know that you are in a safe, non-judgmental space where you can talk about whatever you're going through. Our wonderful community members have been through all kinds of situations and hopefully will drop by soon to offer their own insight and support. Our Support Service is also trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

You mentioned you are seeing your psychologist in mid April which is good but until then you can reach out to other forms of support available such as our friends at Lifeline at 13 11 14 during moments of overwhelm. You could also try letting your psychologist and/or GP know about the stress you are experiencing and request if additional support can be made available to you.

We hope you will keep checking in here to let us know how you are doing, whenever you feel up to it.

 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

You have written a post I could have written about myself several years ago. I also have bipolar depression and anxiety and also dysthymia.

Although retired now forceably from 57yo till now 65yo I recall the struggle street, the dislike for most workplaces and the urgency to leave causing stress. I must say that every job I went to I had the same issues as there was always an issue always politics and I just didnt want to be there. I wasnt diagnosed till 47yo so I had no idea it was my bipolar making things in life difficult. You likely feel trapped and this is the bipolar making you that way I'm afraid...based on my experience.

Financial difficulty doesnt help and that can stress you out.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression/the-financial-world-of-snakes-and-ladders

So what can you do? I have ideas based on short, medium and long term goals.

Short- Relaxation- https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/meditation---words-of-wisdom---it-helped-me-for-25-years#qe4ivHHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

, revisit your GP for advice and medication review, acceptance that sometimes things like finding another job will take time, sensible eating but no diets, draw up a new household budget, with the savings start saving even a few dollars a week.

Medium term- Rethink all accommodation concepts and lifestyle. Being bipolar I suggest that part time work is more appropriate and manageable. You are unwell- accept that. For myself living in a small mobile home was always my preference until I remarried. I could move locations, free camp, travel, etc. Feel more secure with a few dollars in the bank. Reassess personal relationships and rid yourself of anyone toxic that causes stress.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/fortress-of-survival#qwGjz3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/fortress-of-survival-part-2#qxk2H3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

Long term- A job you like preferably your own boss. I ended up a travelling investigator and loved it as I was on my own and made all my own decisions. Think long about what job you'd like on your own. Follow your dreams you have in life. Adapt to life from the perspective of someone with unique health issues, eg dont think your life and lifestyle should be within the traditional square box. Eg country living was for me.

I hope that helps

reply anytime

TonyWK

[MissJ94]

Thank you for the reply. It certainly is a feeling of being trapped at the moment. Due to finances i feel trapped in these circumstances. If i just leave the job ill have no income. But its so hard to do the job when my mental health is suffering. Just being back on tonight im only 4 hours in and already crying in the medication room and had those thoughts of self harm again when it was just 2 hours in. I just dont want to be here.

Ill need to take a look at those links when i get home, thank you for them, i hope they can help.

The only sort of job ive ever had an interest in is midwifery. Im already a nurse and now studying to be a midwife and the challenges of it all is overwhelming. I cant really see myself doing anything else.

[Sophie_M]

Hi MissJ94

Thank you for checking in here tonight and updating us on how you are doing. We are so sorry work continues to be so stressful for you, and can hear how badly you don’t want to work there anymore. We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness.
 
You mentioned you have had thoughts about self-harm. You may find that the Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 or online at https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ could be a good support for you when you are struggling with these thoughts. Or you may like to access our Support Service - they are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. 
 
We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[white knight]

You have an ambition, a goal in midwifery, great.

I think the most important things for you now is- accepting these emotional feelings atm are temporary, they will come and go.

The other thing as I'm sure you know, is to work close with your GP. go as often as you need to.

You sound like a wonderful person so be proud and positive when you can be.

TonyWK

[Succulent Queen]

Hi Miss J94,
I just wanted to say that you arent alone in feeling this way and I understand where you may be coming from. Im not a nurse but I also work in a hospital and the culture is toxic. I also deal with binge eating and dabble in thoughts of not sticking around. Like you my mental health has been greatly affected by the extreme politics. Im told this is the case across most health settings. It is endemic to this environment in its severity aside from maybe the police force and ambulance service where competitive politics and bullying are rife. As you mentioned, management dont give a crap about employees.
Midwifery would certainly be a more interesting and lucrative branch of nursing and you should absolutely keep going with it. Income and thus education are very important in managing mental health as it gives you a purpose and lets you afford professional help. You can absolutely cope and thrive in the health industry with a mental health condition however I have found that I need to not invest time with people who are simply out to bully and cut others down. I can be a people pleaser so this was a new decision I had to become ok with and has ultimately bought me alot of relief. I had to be ok with not being liked by everyone which was tricky but its what normal people do. As you'd know, you can only really understand the level of toxicity if you're in a healthcare environment. It has always puzzled me as to how these workplaces of care and nurture can contain such poisonous behaviour. Luckily it is all behind the scenes and the patients only see the professional front. When I felt overwhelmed and was crying as you are describing - I wasnt crying in the drug room rather the back lifts and contemplating the emergency stop button just to have time to cry in private- I upped my medi cation and felt better just from taking action even though I knew it would take some time to work. I also used the hospital EAP which helped. The EAP is something for you to consider whilst you wait for your psych to become available. Talking helps. Study and work is an incredible undertakimg with with its fair share of pressure. Due to this it sounds like your stress is absolutely justifiable and even normal. I admire your resilience and dedication to furthering your education and giving yourself daily to patients in the face of managing a mental health condition. You will manage this and things will get better. The ole ebb and flow of moods means it has to get better.