How to get interested in life again?

[Damaged]

Hi all. I have been suffering anxiety and depression for a really long time. I am really trying to beat it though I always seem to find myself repeating the same patterns because anything outside of my standard routine is too hard to deal with. My life at the moment life consists of a 58 hour work week which doesn’t leave much time for anything through the week. On the weekends I catch up on house work, sleep and maybe see a movie and that’s about it.    

I have recently started going to therapy again and she told me I should find a hobby and find groups of people to meet up with,though meeting in any kind of group is kind of like hell for me. On top of that I really don’t have anything that I am interested in at the moment. Most of the time I just feel pretty empty inside. I guess I have lost interest in most things over the years.

I Know I need to socialize more if I want to improve, and there has to be more to life than work and bills though I am not sure where to start?

Maybe I am

past the point of no return?    

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[Scott_Depression]

Great post!

Ahhh....39 years....I remember those days...I turned 40 in January!  Thinking about having a 41st party next year, just to be a little different.

Glad to hear you're feeling a little better - great stuff!  However, this means you've got to get some stuff done - and by stuff I mean book in a doctors appointment.  NOTHING is more important than that right now.

Understand what you're saying about the apartment - have you had it long?  Reason I ask is that I'm an accountant, and also have an investment flat.  Have you looked into renting out the flat and renting a room somewhere yourself?  Biggest thing in favor of this is that interest can become deductible on tax so you may end up better off than doing what you're doing now.  If you've had the place a while & it's gone up in value a bit, you can sell and don't get taxed on the gain if it's your residence.

A fair bit to consider there, and not a decision you should make unless your mental health has been addressed first. 

Have a great weekend & try and get out for a couple of walks outside - I'm going to try and do the same!

Kind regards

Scott

[white knight]

Hi Damaged.

Boy, Scotts, advice is spot on, loved those ideas.

I'd like to talk about debt and workload and mental illness.

Briefly, in the 1990's when I was 40yo I was single, had child support, mortgage, building my own home with my own hands and....wait for it haha...working 70 hours a week.  I worked in security so there was shift work all the time, 12 hour shifts and then there was visitations with my children.  I was not diagnosed at the time and later found out I had bipolar 2, dysthymia, anxiety and depression. Reckon ADHD was lurking in there too.

One of my jobs was in Melbourne 90 minutes away and I stopped on the way home exhausted and slept in the car. Bang!!  on the window. An ambulance man and a policeman were there. They asked questions.  The first of which was "we had a report that you were deceased".  I replied "well I'm not I can assure you".  The police asked me what I'd been doing the last week or so. I outlined my schedule. He replied "the way you are going you wont last long". I must have looked terrible.

I left my work, found better more suitable employment and realised how my working life was simply not sustainable in the medium and long term. Being superman is very temporary.

Scott is right to advise to reconsider your apartment situation, lower your financial commitments and that will free up your options like getting a job with less hours or at least putting it to your employer to lower your hours. It will place you in the commanding position....less stress, more control, less chance of melt down and more time for the good things in life.

Cheers.

[Mares73]

Hi Damaged I just wanted to let you know I've read your post & thank you for sharing. I guess working those hours you don't get much of a social life. I also realize that working keeps you busy & maybe that keeps some of the depression at bay. I'm really glad you took Scotts great advice as medication is-i believe-crucial to your recovery. Do you have any friends or social life? Be great to hear back, Lve Mares x

[Damaged]

Hi White Knight, Thanks for sharing your experience.Wow sounds like you were doing it even harder than I am.Glad you found a way out. I know that It's a bad idea to keep going down this road and I need to change my routine which is increasing my anxiety at the same time. A lot of the time the thing that holds me back the most is I have trouble believing in myself,which is something I need to work on I guess. I will try to stay positive for as long as I can for now.I might go and see a financial adviser and see what they come up with.

Thanks.

[Damaged]

Hey Mares. Thanks for your post. Yes you are right I don't really have much of a social life with the hours I work. Though you make a good point, It is possibly helping to keep some of the depression at bay,on some days anyway. lol I really need to free up more time to have any chance of a social life.All of the friends I had I have lost contact with now.It is a scary thought trying to make new friends at my age though.:)

Thanks

[Mares73]

Hey D (sorry can't bring myself to call you damaged as we all are in our own way!), your right about friends, I used to have a full on career & was a loveable social butterfly. But if you read part of my story called "Needing to know someone cares" you will get an idea of why I stopped working the past few years & have become lonely & isolated as how do you make new friends when you hit 35-40. I desperately miss stimulation & friends, trying to figure out how to find them.  How do you think your travelling beyond the veneer of work? Lve Mares x

[Damaged]

Hi Mares. I just read your other post, and I am so sorry you had to go through what you went through without any support.I understand completely what you mean about finding friends at our age. I think it would be hard for someone at this age without anxiety or depression, so yeah It's tough and I'm not sure that I have the strength to do it myself yet.As far as how I am doing beyond the veneer of work, I am not really sure to be honest. I am 39 and still don't really know what I want out of life or how to get it, though I still function from day to day for the most part. At the moment I don't really wan't to examine that factor to closely I guess.

Thanks for your post.

You take care

[Scott_Depression]

Hi D (I'm following Mares' lead!)

Hope you were able to recharge the batteries a bit over the weekend!  

Any progress on making an appointment?  Don't beat yourself up if you've not yet done it - just need to set a deadline - how about end of Thursday?  I know my memory isn't best when I'm suffering symptoms - good idea to set an alarm or 2 on your phone to remind you.

How's the meds going?  Do you feel like they're kicking in?  Hopefully you should feel some relief in next few days - or week at worst.

I know it's really tough to find the time, but please look up a doctor in Beyond Blue (use the menu 'Get Support' and 'Find a Professional') - EVERYTHING else will be made A LOT easier if you get to the doctors for professional assessment.  I'm not trying to hound you, just convinced this is the quickest way to get you better!

Sending you big man-hugs fella!

Kind regards

Scott

[Sydney_Geoff]

Hey all

First time poster here and have been going through some of the posts and finding inspiration in the ability of people to share their stories.  And great advice from Scott_Depression in the above post. 

I was recently diagnosed with Melancholic Depression.  My great GP was the first one in my life to accurately assess my underlying condition, which I suffered from my teen years (I am over 50).  The cost in terms of lost opportunities in life has been incalculable but as they say the past is another place, save to say I have done well without resorting to drugs, alcohol etc.  

I have sought professional advice and am undergoing psychotherapy, on meds and wow, what a difference!  As Scott has said EVERYTHING will be easier! And better. So do not hesitate. Once I made that choice, to say enough is enough of this infernal black dog which has been sniffing around my self most of my life, all has been good.  There are days where I catch myself thinking unfounded negative thoughts..but theres the difference..I catch myself and go, why did I think that..?  

For so long, I was phobic re the opposite sex, I was not engaging in the workplace and my employment suffered as a consequence, just incredible lack of confidence and a willingness to suffer for no good reason. My marriage broke up (thats a sidebar issue and may have occurred but lets say my depression did not help)...

I guess the bottom line is do not hesitate to seek appropriate medical advice and counselling from a psychiatrist (I would hesitate to advise a psychologist for someone with a MDD).  As Scott has said. Do it. There is sunshine over the next ridgeline!  Just my two cents...

[Damaged]

Hey Scott. Still on top of things at the moment.I did recharge over the weekend though work is draining me fast. I don't think the meds have kicked in yet, just the side effects.(felling soooooo tired).I will be going to the doc on Friday.So that is still on track. I still sometimes have the feeling that I am stuck in hole that I can never dig myself out of.Which on one hand I try not to think about to keep the depression at bay ,though on the other hand I have to think about it to change things.Its a bit of a conundrum.Sorry if it sounds like I'm just rambling, I have had a very up and down kind of a day.

Thanks for the support and man hugs:)