How do you cope when the problems are all real and over a period of 30 years.

[SPOONO]

Thirty years ago a work accident crippled me. On escape from rehab my ex insisted on me taking up beer again. After I got compensation I began a business with her she did the books I worked on computers. Business wasn't good due to depression issues and being put in psychiatric hospital; so I got my mum to send me $24000 to cover a mortgage. My ex was doing the books and when I got out of hospital my ex refused to let me in the house because I was two dangerous. My land was sold by the bank due to the money disappearing, oddly my ex was able to buy a car and renovate the house she had taken as settlement for separation. Since asking my kids for help finding the money they have all blocked me from any contact after showering me with abuse for carrying on so about the money. I made accusations and got no denials. How do I cope with losing my family and all my possessions, given in good faith for their support. The ultimate ingratitude.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi SPOONO,

I’m so sorry it has taken a while for you to receive a response. Please don’t think it’s a reflection on you, because it isn’t. It just sometimes accidentally happens here. I do apologise again...

I feel financial issues can be so debilitating, and your children’s cold response must have been heart wrenching. You have suffered many losses...I really feel for you...

I’m not sure if this will be helpful, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to mention it. If you look up the Australians Government’s department of human services website, and search “crisis payment”, you might find that you’re eligible for relief financial support. Perhaps, if you haven’t already, that is something you might like to look into...

About your children, I feel their response is the ultimate rejection and betrayal. That must have really hurt...I can only hope that they come around one day....

Kind thoughts to you,

Pepper

[SPOONO]

Hi Pepper,

Thank you very much for sharing some love with me. To be absolutely honest it seems the money has just gone missing somehow. I have bipolar and it's a dreadful curse, the bad me attacks everyone and pushes them away. The real me suffers the consequences. When I'm on the high side I'm just normal, not elated except for when the depression first abates. I think some of my kids have the gene themselves, if I had only known I wouldn't have had children. I didn't get diagnosed until I was 32, sadly that's too late. Anyway please don't think badly about the kids, it was my fault. I wish so much that it stays away otherwise this letter would be full of self serving, poor me stuff. I guess I am just one of the few that have multiple personalities and the hardest part is never recognizing when the bad one rears its head. It stayed away from 2000 until now and was brought on by discovering that huge financial loss. Thanks again for caring and I wish you joy and fulfilment

Regards

spoono

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Spoono,

You’re most welcome. Thank you so much for you reply 🙂

It must be hard when the bipolar leads to you doing/saying things that you wouldn’t otherwise, because as you said, when your mood has stabilised, you’re left dealing with the aftermath...I feel that would be very painful and stressful. I must admit that I don’t have bipolar personally but I know some of the other lovely forum members here who have it, and who have experienced similar struggles. It sounds very rough...

I’m so sorry for misunderstanding about your children. Thank you very much for explaining. I absolutely don’t think badly of them at all...

I just think you and your whole family have been through a lot, and no one is to “blame” at the end of the day. I feel it’s more the “nature”, so to speak, of bipolar than anything else...

Also, thank you for your well wishes. That made me smile. I hope that things start to improve for you soon.

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[SPOONO]

Hi again Pepper, I was very pleased to hear from you and thanks a lot for your encouragement. I stuck by my psychiatrist and was thinking of dumping her but the latest results have put me in a good frame of mind. I am very hopeful they last; but I often find wellness after visiting someone who cares, this time the psychiatrist, before that a psychologist gave me a few days. I think a lot of it is caused by people who don't understand. I don't really like to say I'm well because I fear falling down again, wish me luck and thanks so much for answering me. You're very kind.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Spoono,

Thank you for your very kind words, and it’s good to hear from you too 🙂

I’m so glad things have started turning around with your psychiatrist, especially as it was just when you will about to stop your sessions with her. Sometimes I think life is strange with the timing of things, but in a good way...

I hope your current stabilised mood persists too. I think maybe just try to appreciate things as they are, and try not to think too hard about what’s around the corner. I supppse what I’m gently suggesting is perhaps it would help to try not to let your fears for the future (no matter how understandable those worries may be) take away from the present moment...

Wishing you all the best. No pressure at all, but if you ever want to vent/update/write here, you’re most welcome. Any time 🙂

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[SPOONO]

Hi Pepper, what a wonderful, pleasant surprise it was to hear from you and now you're in for it cos I am in just the very mood to vent 🙂 I discovered I have bipolar, I'm the last to notice after having been put in hospital against my will for it back in 98. Doh I forget things. A doctor managed to mask my bipolar with a very powerful addictive drug. And a lot of my problems now are from giving myself into detox and having a lot of misunderstanding in the ensuing period. They even refused me any kind of pain killer at all because even though I had xrays and scans of crushed vertebrae and athritis in knees and hip etc etc. They believed I was lying about the pain for over twelve months. I put doctor under heaps of pressure to give me something and he finally did and my pain was gone. Was I happy? it made me very mad after so long in pain. That is what I believe set off the bipolar. It's amazing how a series of events can drive you nuts. On top of that way back when I was in hospital my mum paid out a mortgage for me on my five acre investment block of land. Trouble was the bank never got the money and they sold it for $12500, its now worth 500k. Now my mum insists I owe her $24000 dollars and wont change her will where I'm to pay her back. While at the same time insisting the money is a gift. She's 88 and very muddleheaded, she doesn't even know it's me looking after her, not her looking after me. She can barely put a meal together and claim she's exhausted while denying me the pleasure of cooking something decent. She's slowly coming across and let me cook a nice stir fry the other night and while I was trying to get the simplest idea into her head the oil caught fire and I got serious burns and ended up in emergency. In there I tried to explain to the emergency staff that I had to have my medication at a certain time cos it was one of the few days I had felt good and I didn't want to relapse. They paid no attention and I ran out of the hospital and drove home with my fingers on fire still to take the meds then got a cab back to the hospital cos I cant drive after them. Now I can't play my piano cos of the burns and that sucks it was my therapy, lol . It really is laughable, I seem to have murphy lingering over my shoulder all the time. Theres more but I've run out of space. Thanks heaps for giving me your ear, thats so very helpful, saying that presuming you've got this far and believed it. It's all true.

Cheers

John aka spoono

[Peppermintbach]

Hi John,

I think venting can be really cathartic, so I’m glad you’re letting out some of those things/feelings. Sometimes I think it helps to purge so vent away whenever you like 🙂

Rest assured, of course I believe you. Don’t even stress about it. It’s all good here with me.

What a journey it has been leading up to your eventual bipolar diagnosis. It sounds like you’ve really suffered at the hands of certain doctors and medical professionals who didn’t take you seriously, etc. That must have been awful...

Oh dear, your mum does sound very confused. Even if you love her dearly, i would imagine it can be stressful around her sometimes e.g. her saying you owe her money but insisting it’s also a “gift.”

I think you’re clearly very devoted and caring to put so much time and love into taking care of her. She’s very lucky to have a son like you 🙂

The burns must be very painful. I feel sad that it’s stopping you from playing piano, especially as that was your main therapy. I wonder if there’s anything at the chemist that can speed up the recovery...

My kind thoughts to you today,

Pepper