How do I tell my boyfriend? Also Uni and depression

[Not_today]

So I've told my partner that I have depression from the start of our relationship 2 and half years ago. Although it's been so bad lately I've been crying everyday and not wanting to get out of bed.
Although when I do see him a couple times a week I'm happy and it feels like I'm hiding it all unintentionally. Like I feel my whole world crumbling apart but to him I must look fine. I feel like I need to say something but I don't know how.

Like hey I'm really depressed! Wooo and then I ball my eyes out and hell just be sad. Like what does that achieve is it better just keeping it as it is? I don't know how to be depressed and not bring people down with me that are around me.
How should I go about this without being a burden?

Also for anyone out there doing university how do you deal with uni and depression literally can't cope anymore. I'm in my 3rd year about to graduate yet I can't cope I'm having mental breakdowns and am so depressed. But the idea of stopping just makes me feel like a failure and letting everyone down. Ive made it through the whole semester just have to pass the exams but I just don't even know if I can do that. Help

[White_Rose]

Dear Not today

Hello and thank you for telling us your story. Depression is not nice and the worst part of it is our brains making us believe we must get well by ourselves, that our problems should not be talked about, that we are a burden to others. This is depression talking. The brain just wants to take the easiest way which is doing the same thing over again. We can think of reasons for not getting help such as, I don't know how to be depressed and not bring people down with me that are around me. How should I go about this without being a burden?

Those who care about you will not consider you a burden and you will not bring them down because you need help and support.

You ask Like what does that achieve is it better just keeping it as it is? Well you can do this but the depression will not go away just because you do nothing.You are managing your life quite well on the surface so why would your partner think you need help. Or maybe he does see you need help but does not offer in case you would be offended.

May I ask if you are receiving any treatment? Do you have any medication or see a therapist? When you feel so bad it is time to get help. Your GP is the first person to talk to. Remember this is their job to help people get well so do not think you are going to be a burden or that they do not want to help you.

Crying is a symptom of depression not an attention seeking action. Your whole post shouts out your unhappiness. You have done well to come to beyondblue to ask for help. Read some of the other posts in this forum and the relies. It will show you there are others who feel as you feel.

Why not make an appointment to see your GP and afterwards tell your partner you saw your doctor. Tell him why you went and also the outcome. I think you will be surprised at his concern. Take life one day at a time without looking forward to a life of unending disaster. This is what you can achieve.

Does your uni have any counselling services? If so it will be a better solution than trying to work it out alone.

Mary

[Not_today]

Hey Mary!
Thanks for replying
To answer your question I've been on medication before but currently am off them and trialing it. Unfortunately I can't go back on medication atm so I'll have to wait it out a bit.
I have seen a counselor at university through a GP but exams and uni make it such a busy time to always get a chance to go and see them. I am really struggling because as much as doing one day at a time is good and gets me through. It also means I'm failing at uni and not being prepared enough. It's a bit of a terrible cycle. Its just too much. It will be fine after uni but for the next month it's just beings a heavy weight attached to my body.

[geoff]

Hello Not today, you say that 'it will be fine after uni', well we hope so, but this may not necessarily happen because we can't predict the nature of this illness, when and where it dominates us.

We can pretend to be happy because the symptoms can be invisible to the person who loves us, but eventually, that becomes too much and we maybe caught out at our lowest point and we want to avoid this.

If you defer, then you're not giving up, just giving you the chance to overcome this illness, and then be able to talk with your boyfriend, however, I know it's only a month to go, so perhaps let him help carry you over the line, support from him would do wonders.

Hope to hear back from you only when you are available.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Not_today]

Thanks for responding!
I do agree it's not gonna go away after exams but the pressure and stress does. Unfortunately I know I get sick and this bad multiple times every year so as much as detering sounds good for a break. I also think I've got one semester left after that and I never have to go back. I have told my boyfriend, it was super hard but he was really good about it. So one step in the right direction. Hopefully I can push through to the best ability I can. One day hopefully I'll be free of the disease. But for now I'll try my best to live through it ❤️