How do i explain?

[NomzieG]

I've been recently starting to see someone again who I have been friends with for years and who has seen me before everything went down hill. Now that I have a mental health problem, he just doesn't understand anything I say when it comes to how I'm feeling or if my thoughts get the better of me or just down to depression. How can I explain to him how I'm feeling in a way that someone with no experience being around someone with mental health issues. Its becoming really heard for me because all I want to do is talk to him without a mini argument of it and at the moment I'm feeling like I'm walking on eggshells just to pretend I'm happy not just around him but around others as well.

How can I explain to him in a way he may start to understand not fully but just a little so I don't get triggered?

[Jacko777]

Welcome NomzieG,

Great question, I guess the answer is different for everyone. I wonder if you could find some information, even on this site, that explains how you feel. Could you ask him if he would mind reading something so that you are both on the same page, let someone else do the explaining? It could be something from the 'Carers' info or something more specific about your condition. You could share this under the pretense that you know it must be hard for him to understand what you are going through, it's hard enough for us to understand our condition let alone explain it to someone else.

You can't please everyone and some people have trouble facing mental health issues, I find a lot of people try to completely ignore it unless it happens to them. I try to stay focused on being true to my self and ensuring I am on a path of recovery. I try to practice compassion for those that cannot foster understanding of mental health issues, it's hard for them too. Talk any time.

Jack

[NomzieG]

I have showed him information about my condition. When I did, he didn't really have anything too positive to say about it. I can say he has been there for me the last few months that we have spoken again. I fully understand it would be hard for him to understand when he really hasn't had anyone around him close that has depression or anxiety and so forth. Im finding it harder and harder to talk to him about things that are on my mind or if he asks if im okay. its becoming to the stage I feel I can not talk to anyone and have to pretend to be happy around all. plus I don't want to lose anyone again because of my actions. Thanks for your advice. 

[Jacko777]

Thanks for the reply NomzieG,

I think it will help if you can find some more answers on this. I know it doesn't help us to bottle our feelings and it does help to have someone to talk to, of course you know you can always jump on these and other forums. Perhaps it might help to check the terminology you are using with your partner, can you tone it down but still get your point across? If you don't mind me saying, if he cares about you he should have respect for your condition.

Try not to let this get in the way of your recovery, stay focused on the positive steps you can take to feel better.

Jack

[Chris_B]

Hi Nomzie, sorry to hear things didn't go well with your first conversation. Check out our Have The Conversation page for further tips on how you can progress this further.

These threads by other members may also be helpful:

My description of depression to my family and friends

Can we have an open discussion about the stigma of mental illness?