Dear Wombatz~
I would like to join Paul in welcoming you here. I guess the difference between talking here and to your husband is at least partly experience. Those few words you said conjurer up a wealth of similar memories in lots of us.
And you are right, when depressed it simply can be too hard to talk, and even then having the knowledge of how to fix things is not there anyway. When pressed - as you say - there is the need to withdraw more. It just makes matters worse
A lot of people feel the need to make things right, and overall that's not a bad thing, but at times it can be counterproductive. People too can assume that whatever is happening is because of them and it sounds like your husband has both of these traits.
My partner first off though my condition had been brought about be something she had done, and it took a visit to my psychiatrist to explain to her the nature of my condition before she would accept it was not her doing. She then had to try to find what she could do to support me, and that was not easy and it changed from day to day. On one occasion asking how I was would be answered properly, on another it was met with resentment and even hostility.
I'll always owe her a big debt for her patience and understanding.
Now with you husband is there any way for you to damp down his concerns when you are feeling more OK? Sometime explanations by a Doctor can help where your words won't. Does he have anyone to support him? My partner had her mum, which made a big difference.
Perhaps if you can get him just to listen and not press you would be a long way ahead. If he needs something to do then making a cup of tea/coffee/etc and putting it by you - even if it gets cold and is ignored - might help. My partner did this quite often without ever saying anything. Very often doing just that was a comfort to me.
What do you think?
Croix (who hopes you don't try to explain FFS:)
