I don't really know what to write or where to start.
The last 3-5yrs have been a steady downfall and have been feeling empty, lost, no motivation (for a while) and noone to really talk to.
In 2018 had to move from sydney back to the Central West after issues with work and moved in with family, little brother owns the house and aged mum, and his gf (who moved in about 4-5mths ago after 3mths of dating) live there too, but I generally keep to myself, even eating dinner in my room.
Since moving back in 2018, it feels like everything is on a steady downfall and not getting any better.
I am epileptic and had lived for 4yrs unmedicated seizure free, and as soon as I move back to the Central West after Sydney, my epilepsy starts and I am back on medication again.
The last job I had about 10mths ago, I was terminated after a client's mother abused me and I defended myself, every other clients had nothing but good feedback but only takes one I guess. Had a seizure driving after work and lost my licence for 12mths.
The time comes for me to get a letter from my neurologist to have my licence unsuspended after 12mths seizure free medicated, the new neurologist refused to do telehealth or zoom etc and she deemed my emotional upset and distress as intimidating and aggressive, and now refuses to see me which means I have to drive to drive about 200km to see one or pay hundreds to see a private one if the do zoom.
Mum has chronic pain and other health issues that she has been dealing with for a long time, but her constant moaning and groaning all the time gets to me and irritates the **** out of me, it's the same thing everyday over and over and over. What makes it worse is she narrates nearly everything she does to you and things like "Bona, I am going to have a shower and lay down for an hr" and it takes a lot not to snap at her and say "I don't care! If you wanna shower and lay down just do it, I don't need to know!"
I have little to no privacy living in my brother's house at all. Little Brother will just walk in to my room to have a smoke, no knock, nothing just walks in has a smoke and leaves (5-6 times a day), and in some cases his gf will come into my room as well following him. It happens whether I am in there or not, with his gf even going in my room when I am in the lounge room just to pick up my cat off my bed. Even coming into my room to pat the cat laying on my chest on my bed, by herself.
Everything has felt off and not quite right for a solid 12mths.
