Hi there!

[Roachy]

Hope you're all really well.

My name's Aaron and around four weeks ago, I got officially diagnosed as having depression. It wasn't a surprise, though, and just confirmed what my wife had been noticing for a couple of years. I started becoming very introverted, withdrawing from the daily life of friends and family. More to the point, I stopped interacting with our daughter, always finding an excuse to do nothing or be distracted by things on my phone instead of hanging out with them.

I imagine like most people, it just got to a stage where I couldn't function any more. My head always felt so swollen, almost like a really bad head cold minus the sniffles.

I haven't really divulged it to a lot of people. To the people that do know, however, I've received a lot of support and understanding of where I am. Work has an unlimited EAP resource for us and I'm making progress with meds. Unfortunately, the suicidal thoughts just won't go away. I'm running/exercising/doing whatever it takes to ease my mind but it's taking time. I'm being as proactive as possible to try and stay positive throughout these initial days and I'm hoping that there'll be a stage where I feel 'normal'...whatever that means.

I'm looking forward to being a part of the community here to talk openly about where I am and to hear of others' experiences.

Thanks for your time 🙂


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[BeeGee]

Dear Aaron,

 Welcome to BB! It's great to have you here and I hope you get a lot out of the support you can find here.

I've only been diagnosed for a couple of months myself, although it turns out I've been struggling with it for most of my life, so I'm pretty new at this too.  Like you, I've been very selective about whom I tell - and that's been a very small group of people so far. Unless people have had personal experience, most don't really understand what depression is - heck, I didn't, and I had it for decades.

I'm sorry to hear that you battle with suicidal thoughts - that's really tough. Please believe though that nobody will be better off without you around. I think we probably all feel that at least in our worst times, but maybe if it's a full-time battle for you, you don't get those moments of clarity where you really see how the people that love you really do value you. We have a hard time believing that, but it's still true nonetheless.

I look forward to you being a part of our community here too. Stick around and we can learn from each other while we prop each other up.

[TheSteve]

Hi Roachy,

Thanks for sharing your story mate. Sorry to hear that you've had to rough it with depression the past few years. I will say that your post is extremely lucid, thoughtful, and conscious of where you are and what your goals are. That is really a great start, you clearly have the mindset to get through this.

Depression is both a physical and mental issue. Thoughts can cause feelings and behaviours that lead to us being habitually depressed; and physical ailments can lead to negative thoughts, which reinforce it in the other direction but have the same outcome. THe mental acts on the physical, and the physical on the mental. They are one (kind of like my tiger/dragon picture here, two parts but inseparable, making them one).

The fact that you are exercising is fantastic. Keep it up, don't overdo it but make sure you are getting your physical workouts in and oxygenating your brain and body. Other things to do along with this are:

- A healthy diet, with lots of good "brain" foods (fatty fish, walnuts, omega oils, veggies and fruits, lean meats).

- Getting checked for allergies, whether they be food related or seasonal

- Staying off the booze

- Lot's of laughter and smiling in your day

- Learning mindfulness. Especially important, especially given your mind seems to be doing its own thing with the negative thoughts. If you can learn to observe these thoughts as a passive/neutral "observer" as opposed to "becoming" the thoughts, then you have won the battle. It is important to monitor both the thoughts and the feelings they inspire in you. Then, ask yourself "who is doing the monitoring, and who is doing the feeling?". Become the neutral, non-judging observer. Habituate this. There is a silent part of you that can not be depressed, it can only be happy and content. Complete. This is your mindfulness.

- Give it time. Nothing is fixed overnight, it is a process. Don't fear relapse, use it as a chance to practice your healing techniques and new habits.

All the best mate, come back and chat anytime if we can support you.

Steve

[Roachy]

BeeGee, thanks so much for your kind words and welcoming thoughts. I really appreciate you sharing what you did. A barrier that you've pointed out is having the right people to relate to, which is why I'm here. I look forward to sharing your journey with you 🙂

Steve, mindfulness is something I'm learning at the moment. I've got a Russ Harris CD that's fantastic...the breathing component is wonderful and something I love. That thoughts can come and that's fine, but they don't have to stay. Okay, so I'm working towards that, but I'm hoping one day I 'get it'.

I'm typically mindful of what I eat, too, however I've not been amazing with diet over the past few months. No doubt it will come back to me once I find the motivation to do more than I currently am, which I'm really looking forward to. Before, I was in the gym six days a week...now, I'm running just to be active. It will come back 🙂

Thanks again, guys. I appreciate you both reaching out and hope I can return the favour.