Hey

[katcha96]

Hey, I'm sort of new to this. I've been suffering from depression since I was in school, and tried to ignore it. Unfortunately, both of my parents suffer different degrees of depression, as well as one of my brothers. Over the past 2 years, I've tried to get it under control, but as I started to seek help, I entered into my first relationship, and we use to get into fights, all the time. Him telling me to stop going from happy to upset all the time, and that I wasn't suffering depression; that it was all just stupid nonsense. He told me to go off my medication (which I only just started taking three months before we started dating). At the end of last year, after we broke up, I entered the worst state I have ever been in. It had gotten to the point of wanting to do some "stupid" things, and my family started to worry. A family friend, who has been through a lot in her younger years, finally dragged me back to the doctors to get back onto medication. It started to work, five months of feeling better than I have even been. But lately I started to sink again, entering those bad thoughts. I am kind of stuck at them moment, not knowing what to do. Some people tell me to get help, but I just feel like my problems are just a pebble in the ocean; that others have it worst. I can't talk to someone face to face, and I promised someone I would talk to someone... So here I am... trying something different, and hopefully finding a direction.

Thanks, I guess.

[inochi]

Hey katcha96,

Thanks for reaching out 🙂

I'm sorry to hear what's been happenning, and I can relate - I suffered from depression and anxiety when I came out of high school. It makes dating and relationships extremely difficult, when you are stuck in a whole world away from your partner, and it is hard for them to understand.

However, I've always seen it like this:

If a person can't see through the depression/anxiety on the surface to the person underneath, that is their problem.

You aren't your depression, you're what's underneath. It's like a guy refusing to date you because you have the flu when you first meet.

It's the guy's loss, because when you get better (because things will get better), he has lost the beautiful person who was there the whole time, and another guy who can actually see your value and who will really support you when it gets bad, will be there.

Hope this helps,

Inochi

[Quercus]

Hi Katcha96 and welcome,

You mentioned feeling like your problems are a pebble in the ocean and that caught my attention. It's a statement that appears on the forums often.

Your concerns are just as valid and important as anyone else. It doesn't matter if others seem to have it "worse", your health is just as important.

Your family friend is awesome. I'm glad to hear you have returned to your meds. Talking to someone offline sounds intimidating but it isn't as bad as we worry it will be. Psychologists and counsellors do this as a living. They will guide and prompt you.

Medications are not a magic fix. Sometimes we need support.

You can always try the helplines to test how you respond under some pressure.

I hope you're keeping busy.