Having an off day, can you help?

[Miss_Anonymous]

Hi everyone,

Hope you are feeling better than I am. Today I woke up just feeling really depressed. I slept relatively well but have just been feeling low all day. I haven't managed to get much work done because I'm finding it hard to concentrate on anything besides my low mood. 

I don't even really know what I feel sad about. There is one thing that springs to mind - I have worked for the last two and a bit years with my lovely manager, M, who is leaving next week. She has been really kind to me - believed in my abilities, gave me opportunities to develop my skills and given me lots of emotional support when I needed it, and is a really all round lovely person and a fantastic role model. I will really miss her when she goes. But I have known she is leaving for about three months, so I have had plenty of time to deal with it, and there's no reason I would be sad about that today compared to another day.

Apart from that I am a bit directionless with my career and in life in general. I have been in my job for four years, stayed in part becuase of this manager and in part becuase i don't know where else i would go - this job was my dream job when i got it and i'm just not sure what else i want to do. Even though my manager thinks I can be a supervisor (which would be a promotion) I'm not so sure I can do it well or want to do it. It would involve taking on more responsiblity/stress which i don't want to do. It would involve emotional intelligence which i've tried hard to learn, but found difficult. Do you find emotional intelligence can be learned? People say it can, but my experience is that i have not made much progress, and i feel despondent about that. I am quite tired after the pandemic and several years of working hard at my job, I think I just want an easy life for a while. 

I had a good Christmas and when I came back to work on 3 Jan I felt refreshed, interested and enthusiastic about life and my job. But for a period of 3-4 months late last year I was really struggling - feeling apathetic, disinterested in everyone and everything and unmotivated. I had lots of leave but nothing seemed to shift my mood. I thought i was having a mid life crisis or was depressed. Then over Christmas I felt better. I got back in to reading, socialised with family and friends and took time away from the city where I work and got out of the work headspace for a while. Now it feels like the blues are back, and I'm a bit worried. I know I can't rely on M to support me as she is acting in a senior role and will be very busy. I don't really have anyone else I can turn to. What are your tips for feelling better when you've got the blues? What should I do? Thank you for reading my post, I look forward to your replies.

Thank you!

[Jasmine96]

Hello,

I am feeling a bit the same. Sometimes I feel okay and then other times not so much. I feel like even when you have job satisfaction it still isn’t enough when you don’t feel like you’re enough on the inside 😞  that’s how I feel anyway. And I feel so guilty that I’m not happy when I should be. My partner doesn’t really understand depression and I don’t really have anyone else I can talk to. It’s difficult to access mental health services and I always find many barriers, which make it difficult. I think my main tip is trying to remember that the feeling will pass.  I have been crying for the past couple hours and it in a state like I’m in right now, it feels like this is where I’ll be for eternity. But I know deep down that I will get through it. Like a cloudy day, eventually the sun comes out. If you ever want someone to talk to I would love to help. Sometimes it feels like everything is all too much but I really want to make the most of my life. I don’t want to feel like I am feeling right now.