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Following the breadcrumbs to improve mental health
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Hi everyone,
The last few months have been somewhat confusing as I have discovered more about my mental / physical health and how it has all been connected. I had not put the pieces together, I am not sure why, it seems so obvious now.
I have dealt with Dysthymia since about 12 and Major Depression since about 14 but was not diagnosed until my 40s and had no idea that had been the problem all along. I knew I wasn't like everyone else but thought I was just born that way. Back then mental health was not a subject that was openly discussed and the signs mostly went unrecognised and untreated. I had about 10 years of talk therapy with a social worker that helped immensely.
I have had a sensitive digestive system for a good portion of my life, not so much that I sought treatment, just things like indigestion with certain foods, bloating and the like. I suppose I thought everyone had those types of issues.
I have also had nervous system reactions over the past 15 years, like involuntary shaking in certain situations, that I had put down to getting older and being less resilient having been through a lot of difficult challenges.
I have been seeing a psychotherapist who also does somatic work (turns out you were right mmmekitty, I did need some more help). The first session of somatic work, in this case EFT (tapping), brought up a deep and long standing belief that I did not deserve to be helped. The emotions were buried so deep that I was not even aware of them. After that session things went haywire physically for a few days and took some weeks to start to settle.
Being the type of person who needs to have an understanding of what is happening and why, I have been reading many books on the symptoms I have had. That is when I began to join the dots about how interconnected by mental and physical health actually were. It has required a lot of processing on my part, and an acknowledgement of what I have been consciously unaware of, but it has been necessary to finding a way forward. This will be an ongoing journey as new symptoms show up that need to be looked at.
I know now that there is a lot of unreleased trauma in my body that is a contributing factor in not healing mentally or physically and I know now what needs to be done to improve. There is only so much that the medical profession can do, I believe the rest of the responsibility lies with us in digging deeper to find the causes and the answers. In many ways, that in itself becomes empowering.
Take care all.
indigo
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Hello dear indigo,
Sending you a big, supportive hug 💗 It's really tough having those days. It can feel so heavy, even when you know future days will be better. I hope you wake up feeling better tomorrow.
I think I might purchase the Avalon book as it would be the quickest and easiest way to get it. I can really relate to the value of being outside in the moonlight. I have always found moonlight medicinal. I'm in a beautiful place for enjoying moonlight and have numerous locations I could go to and just be under it. I can also just lie in my backyard and absorb it. The naturopath highly recommended golden kiwi fruit to me and that was great for a period of time. Then when I developed histamine intolerance I suddenly couldn't eat it any more as it is quite a strong histamine and tyramine liberator in the body. I would get a strong reaction. So at the moment I can't have it but I do hope I can again soon.
Yes, the nightmares do subside when hormones lift up again. It is clearly linked. I am learning to cope with the nightmares. It's like the hormonal crashes strip back all the psychic defences in me with regard to traumas and fears and I can do nothing to stop them being present in such a forthright way. But at least it allows me to face and see my fears and traumas directly with absolutely zero filters. It kind of makes everything crystal clear.
I've just returned from the most lovely walk by the river. I took some photos on my phone of the clouds reflecting on the water. It was such a beautiful atmosphere. I wish I could share the images here to show you.
Take care indigo and much kindness and love to you,
ER
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