fighting a battle that doesn't exist!

[Meegannn]

I feel like everything in my life that could go wrong, has or is and when I think it can't get worse it always does. 

I'm about a breath away from giving up and just stopping. 

My beautiful daughter lifts my spirit when I'm having bad days like this, she is the reason I'll keep going.

The worst part is half of my problems and fears probably don't even exist.

Is there anyone else that just feels like giving up everyday before they get out of bed? Does anyone else lay in bed until 3am worrying and thinking? What the hell is wrong with me???

I need to be better for my girl.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

[Zeal]

Hi Meegan,

You are not alone. Everyone on this site, including people who respond to posts, have experienced mental illness. It's so hard, and everyone has a different experience. Good on you for coming to this forum. Your little girl is lucky to have you. Keep pushing forward for her. In most cases, things do and can get better. If you feel suicidal, you can call beyond blue's helpline at any time, day or night, on 1300 22 4636. Even if you just want to vent when you are struggling, they will listen.

Problems and fears are intensified with depression. I can relate to lying in bed until all hours, full of worry. I used to avoid going to sleep, because I couldn't quiet my mind. It has gotten better because my anxiety is now under control.

See your GP about all this. They may refer you to a counsellor or psychologist for extra help and treatment. Reach out to trusted family and friends. When you are feeling vulnerable, it is crucial to have supportive people in your life.

Good luck and best wishes,

SM

[TheSteve]

Hi Meegan,

Thanks for sharing your story. I am with SM on this one, go see your GP and get a referral to a counselor or therapist, to get some help. This is not something you need to go through alone, nor is it something you should go through alone. There are trained professionals that can help you make sense of all of this, go and see one!

You have a little girl, so giving up is not an option. For both of you, this is something you have to see through, with the courage you have shown to date, tough out the bad days and get on a track to permanent recovery. And you CAN do this, I promise.

I have seen 3am, like you, too many times in my life under all the wrong circumstances (insomnia, anxiety, depression, worry, etc). These are phantom fears, and they seem very, very real at 3am! But, they are not. They are all creations of our thinking mind. You need to let go, to surrender, to accept that all will be OK, to get through these tough nights. Letting go is extremely liberating.

Real techniques such as meditation, relaxed breathing, mindfulness, can really help when your mind is running a mile a minute, too. As can natural remedies, I typically like GABA + or simple calcium/magnesium supplements to help relax muscles, only sometimes. Chat to your doc about these.

Go and see a counselor and get on the road to recovery. All the best to you Meegan.

Steve

[scozzie]

Hi yes as suggested go see you gp my friend finaly talked me in to doing so 1 week ago only took 9 months plus I have not looked back I was put on low meds just to help pick me up a little so I can think better about how to deal with things and at day 7 I'm slowly feeling a lil more peepy doctor said tablets won't take full effect till about 4 weeks though

I also have my friend's support that helps so much we talk from the time we wake up till the time we go to sleep. do you have some one close you feel comfortable talking with under all circumstances?

[Meegannn]

Thank you for your kind reply Steve, I am starting to sort my head and life out, I have been to a gp and am now on low dose meds to pick me up a bit, I am seeing a councillor next week and I thank you for your advice, I needed it and have used it well

Thank you Steve 

[Meegannn]

Thanks Scott!

I am only on day one, but am feeling positive about it all and am trying to keep my thoughts positive. I'm happy to hear You found help and have your friends support, just having someone to talk to is enough sometimes.

Unfortunately I have been on my own with my daughter for 4 years and don't speak to any family etc so I think seeing a councillor willreally do  me a world of good, it will be different to be able to let everything out but I'm looking forward to it, and getting better with little baby steps : )

[zailleh]

Meegannn said:

Is there anyone else that just feels like giving up everyday before they get out of bed?

Absolutely. This morning was one of those mornings. Had a could couple of weeks. Before that it was like that every day for 2 months, then there were a couple of good weeks again, then like that for 3 months. 

It's this exact thing that made me seek help. I realised I had a problem when I just couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. If I knew I had to go to work, face people, responsibilities and the outside world I just couldn't do it. When I called in sick and no longer had the weight of the world keeping me in bed I could manage to migrate to the couch and watch movies; not that I'd enjoy them, it was more of a way to pass the time.

I'm glad you're seeking help, it will make a difference. Here's to better days!

~Zailleh

[White_Rose]

Hello Meegannn

So pleased to read you have taken the first step. That's biggest of all, to acknowledge you have a problem and start the healing process. As the other folk have said, you can and will get better.

Keep in touch with us. We are here to provide a shoulder to cry on, to cheer with each victory and offer suggestions and support.

Warm regards

Mary

[TheSteve]

You bet Meegan, we are all here for you. Keep in mind that as you recover, not all days will be the same. Some will be better/some worse, but all of this is important for a full and lasting recovery, as long as you maintain your direction. If you need a boost or some support, just come here and we'll be here for you.

Steve