Feels like my life is falling apart again...

[Aussie.Girl]

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to accomplish by posting here. I guess I just need some reassurance and support.

I don't really want to go into detail, but a lot has happened recently and I'm beginning to realise I am not coping as well as I thought I was. 

Now, the most recent issue is that I have injured my right hand (likely some kind of RSI or tendon injury) and everyone seems to think I'm being a bit dramatic over it and worrying whether I should be going to work in a few days time.

Realistically this is a small problem compared with everything else but it feels like the straw that broke the camels back.

It's a bit swollen and stiff but not really painful etc so I will keep a splint on it over the weekend and see a dr on Mon if it's not improving.

I just feel useless. I was kind of distracting myself from everything by at least being productive or doing something enjoyable like playing games etc

But now trying not to use/overexert my dominant hand means I can't really do anything and so I just end up sitting worrying about everything. 

I have watched two movies already today and would love to do something else, but I can't write/draw I shouldn't be playing games which require a controller, I shouldn't be trying to lift things or brush the dogs... The list goes on.

Any advice? I just feel really defeated and overwhelmed with everything.

[Sophie_M]

Hello Aussie.Girl, 

Welcome back to the forums and thank you so much for sharing your story!

It seems like things have really built up for you over time. It is very common for seemingly small things to be our 'tipping point'. Physical pain can evoke a lot of big emotions too, so please know that your feelings are not overdramatic at all. 

Distractions can be helpful when life is overwhelming, so it is good to see you are playing games and watching movies. Though, it must be tough not being able to draw or write, especially if those activities bring you catharsis or joy. 

Perhaps it could be helpful to look at what is within your control right now and simultaneously really allow yourself to feel the pain of what isn't? Sometimes when we wrestle with an uncomfortable or scary feeling, it can make us feel more defeated and overwhelmed. However, holding space for these feelings and nurturing them can be really helpful in allowing them to shift.

You can do this by talking things out in a voice memo, singing, calling a friend, maybe even a chat with a psychologist? You are more than welcome to call us directly too! 

For now, we encourage finding some time to really soothe the parts of you that are feeling vulnerable and to follow curiosity by asking 'what do I really need right now?' and 'what do I have control over in this moment?' 

Try to take things slowly, hour to hour, and see how you feel. 

We hope our community can provide even more reassurance and support. Until then, we are always here if you need to talk.

Warm regards, 
Sophie M. 

[james1]

Hello Aussie.Girl,

Thanks for your post. I'm really sorry to hear how overwhelmed you are feeling, and hope it is something that will ease once you are able to do your usual activities again.

It doesn't sound like your hurt hand is a small thing at all. I get tennis elbow from time to time and it really is a huge burden to not be able to do what you normally could. I can absolutely understand how you've perhaps gone from being able to find ways to distract yourself or generally be more productive, to suddenly feeling really defeated. The injury's hit you in a few different ways, and it's hard to adjust.

To some extent, I think it's quite a personal thing about how to adjust. But broadly, I wonder if there are activities you could do which give you some mental space, but are sufficiently distracting so that space doesn't feel claustrophobic. I'm a really big fan of walking - I have to pay just enough attention to my surroundings so I don't fall, but I also have space to gently consider whatever comes to mind. If I'm getting stressed about whatever it is I'm thinking about, I can listen to music or a podcast. But I usually find the physical walking is just enough to keep me from really going in mental circles.

I hope you can find some time to rest and recharge, in whatever way suits you best. Please feel free to post back whenever you feel like it.

James