Feeling withdrawn

[Jazzy07]

Hi, 

just wondering what people think is best. 

When you feel anti social and don't want to leave the house / go out etc (just socially I still go to work every day without issue) is it best to push through and 'force' yourself to go? Or is it ok to allow yourself to retreat and hide for a while? 

Im not sure if allowing yourself to withdraw will make it worse and create a bigger problem. If u hide for a while is it harder to come back out?

[white knight]

Hi Jazzy,

Good question.  I think if you attend functions with an obligation in mind or forcing to go because you think it is to make yourself feel better is not so good.  Staying at home would be the better option IMO.

Some would think this "hermit" existance is not healthy. There are many good things about it though. You can indeed enjoy your own company, enjoy a hobby, read, etc. If it extends to being anti social then thats another story and I'd suggest that you would have gone too far.  Hope that helps.  We cant all be social creatures.

[hopless_amp_helpless]

Hi Jazzy,

May I ask how long you've felt anti social for?

I think it's ok to occasionally stay home and not go out but if you make a habit of it, you may lose friends.

I started to not go out with friends and eventually, they stopped asking me out. I distanced myself and found I had NO friends.

It's incredibly lonely being by yourself and isolating yourself from people is not a good idea.

If you are happy to just spend some time relaxing on your own that's fine but if it's to avoid social contact or hide from people then I think that's detrimental.

I used to hide away in my bedroom all weekend. I didn't even leave the house... I had no interaction with people and my social anxiety got worse and worse. The longer you hide out like a hermit, the harder it is to get back out and socialise.

I wouldn't 'force' yourself to go out because you want to have a good time but maybe you should look at the reason WHY you feel anti social...

Is it because you are scared of meeting new people? Is it the crowds that bother you? Are you worried that your friends may notice something is up?

I think it is important to reach out to someone though. When you isolate yourself, you are stuck alone with your negative thoughts and emotions and nobody to help you challenge these.

Do you have a friend or family member you can confide in?

Maybe you could make plans to meet up with some friends in a place you feel comfortable in and take small steps to becoming more social again.

I hope this helps!

Take care ~ Kylz

[Chloekat84]

I completely agree with Kylz's post. U need to to rethink if it just an occasional day/night at home   or if it is something that hppens all the time. There is a disorder called "Social phobia" which i when u get panic attacks when out in public or when u even think about these situations. Theres info on this site about it. I think u should also see ur regular GP to explain whats going on and if theres something he/she can do to help. Maybe a referal to a psycholoist or psychiatrist. Completely up to u though. ont want u to be forced into something u wouldnt normally want to do. Just trying to give my best advice for this situation here. Take Care x

[geoff]

dear Jazzy, some very good replies back to you, so can I ask you a question, do the people at work who you are friendly with, do they ask you the same questions that would happen on a social level.

There are certainly times when you want to be by yourself, and it's no different than a large majority of us, however there is a catch to this, because the longer we leave it the worse we become in terms of socialising, and the problem here is because we tend to think about going out which then leads worry and what people are going to say or even ask us.

Here am I saying this because I was no different than how you feel and I still monitor where I go and who I see, as I won't go to any of my family gatherings or parties, simply because I get bombarded with questions all about 'how are you feeling', 'are you still depressed', or 'what do you do during the day'.

I will freely tell my twin brother, but my sister in law and my sister never stop the questions. Geoff.

[AGrace]

Hi Jazzy,

I'm curious as to what you decided was best for you after reading the posts from others?

In my experience delaying or avoiding social activities reinforces social anxiety. I'm not saying that you can't stay home from time to time, we all need an opportunity to re-cooperate. The key, as with most things, is finding balance. You may wish to spend a couple of days out with friends/family and then have a couple of quiet days to yourself. it is also really important, as Kylz mentioned, that you feel comfortable with your own conpany.

Let us know your thoughts.

AGrace