Hi again Elizabeth,
It's a real shame your ankle is still so painful! Are you seeing a doctor about this at the moment? Hopefully if you rest it the recovery time will be shorter. It does sound as though your husband's illness and blindness does make outdoor activities quite challenging. Is it possible for you to do outdoor activities with someone else, like a family member or friend? While you're doing an outdoor activity, your husband could maybe do something with one of his family members or friends. Perhaps this could become a fortnightly arrangement, if you find a few people who are into similar activities.
You're right in saying that there is always someone worse off. However, this does not mean you don't deserve help, and that you shouldn't feel frustrated or overwhelmed at times. You are just as deserving as others facing other challenges, whether their hardships are "worse", or just different. Your husband's poor health must be frustrating, and it's understandable that it worsens your feelings of unhappiness.
Is there a causal job option you could take? If you have enough savings to allow for it, perhaps you could try some volunteering. Voluntary work is varied and flexible, as it involves you giving your time for free. I found volunteering helped me feel I had a purpose and was doing something worthwhile and fulfilling. I assisted a staff member on group activities for kids with intellectual disabilities. I found that while I was out with the kids, I virtually never thought about my own concerns and anxieties. This was significant for me.
I'm sure you're not fat and ugly. We are our own harshest critic, unfortunately!
Best wishes,
SM
