I have suffered with depression and anxiety in the past. Many days, it still affects me. Lately, I have been feeling so out of control of my own life. like I'm merely holding the reins and the wind is taking me in whatever direction it pleases. my home as well as my workplace feel constantly insecure and unstable. everything else feels like its on the rocks. my relationship, though usually strong and sturdy feels rocky and on edge. my friendships slowly vanishing and growing further and further as I fall deeper into this grief and feeling of being lost. my family hanging on by a thread, constant worry and concern.
how do I pull myself out of this sinking feeling and focus on the positives in my life and stop pushing everyone important to me away?
how do I establish a life full of certainty and happiness without the impending feelings of guilt and shame?
how can I put myself first when it feels like every step I take toward that is faced with two steps back in a form of a push?
I really do want to pull myself out, like I have time after time and feel like myself again.
I've tried exercise, I've tried breath work and meditation. I've tried alcohol and drugs. nothing seems to make a difference for longer than the during of the expertise or substance.
how do you put positive and healthy processes into action and keep them going?
consistency and self belief is what I lack.
