Feeling lost and need some guidance

[matchew]

Hello everyone  

   I do not really know how to start this so if I’m jumbled up please excuse me.

  I have been dealing with depression anxiety/ difficulty socializing with anyone in general for a bit over 3 years and lately it has started to become more and more of a problem. I found this site and decided to do the test thinking id pass no worry’s after doing the test I got a 35 (high) which has got me thinking maybe there is more to this then I thought and maybe my thoughts are not normal.

  This is not something recent either I have been having these thought / feelings for over 3 years now in which time I have lost most my friends and have lost a few relations because I feel as tho they do not care and that I do not deserve to be happy.I have trouble even looking for work cause I feel that it is pointless. Most the time I don’t want to interact with people I would prefer to be alone as I cant seem to feel any connections with people anymore.  

 I want to seek help for this but I have no idea where to even start and even if I did I have been training myself to make sure no one can see it and I’m worried that if I go to seek help I will try and hid how bad it is and look like I’m lying or over reacting. All I know is I want to be able to interact with people with out feeling as if I do not deserve it I sick of constantly feeling down I want to be able to feel and be happy again. Even now I feel like my explanation is me over reacting every time I have seeked helped so far threw friends or family I just get told to man up:/.    

[HA1]

Hello Matchew

Welcome to BB and thank you for posting your feelings.

Can I suggest that the first thing you need to do is talk to your GP.  If you don't have one, search the list of GPs on this site and find one nearest your location (click on the tab "Get Support" the top left hand side of the page).  It sounds to me like you are suffering from social and perhaps other anxieties.  If you like, and the GP recommends it, then also speak with a psychologist who will be able to talk through these issues with you.  Both might suggest that you top on some medication to help you manage the anxieties.

Also, now that you have reached out to the BB forum, you can use this anonymous forum to ask questions about things that you are unsure about, or to just vent your frustrations or feelings.  There are many here who will know exactly what you are going through - me included.

Again, welcome and we look forward to hearing more from you.

Take care

K

[AGrace]

Hi matchew,

Welcome to the forums, and good on you for making the first step.

We can do all sorts of tests to try to determine whether we are experiencing anxiety and depression, but what I like to consider is how much is your mood affecting your day to day life, how intense is your low mood, and how frequently are you experiencing it? From asking yourself these questions I think you get a pretty good gauge as to whether you need some additional support.

You mentioned that you've lost a lot of friendships, and you've also lost your desire to socialise. Isolating oneself is a classic symptom of depression, so you are not alone. Depression and anxiety can also go hand in hand so if you feel that you have both don't let this overwhelm you. There is a lot of help and other resources available to you, but you're right, sometimes it is difficult to know where to begin.

As Hideaway has suggested, seeing a GP is the next step to sourcing some support. The GP will be able to assess where you are at and refer you to someone who can help you talk through your situation and ascertain some solutions. The GP might also offer medication, which can be useful to at least get you in the right frame of mind to progress with some therapy.

There are also a couple of threads that you might like to look at in the interim:

SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION under the Depression section of the forums and

SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING ANXIETY under the Anxiety section.

Both of these threads have some useful ideas that you can probably start to put into practice now.

I hope you will keep us updated. I look forward to hearing more from you.

AGrace

[matchew]

thank you both for your replies tbh i wasnt expecting to get one ..nways  i have booked my self into to my local doctors to see what they say. i won't be able to seek professional advice till i can save the money up to see him. so im hoping my doctor will be able till help me a lil till such time.

on my low days i find it hard to even leave my room and when i do it is usually just to get something to eat or drink. the only time i don't feel like this is when i have my son around but i feel that it is because i try my best not to show it around him.

i feel it is affecting my day to day life greatly as i barley leave my room and even if i did i can not bring myself to talk to people with out  my brain going in to over drive trying to think of things to talk about so bad that i endup not talking because i feel that if i say the wrong thing i will be judged for it idk ..