Feeling depressed and lost after bad news regarding study

[Rach28]

Hi everyone, 

I am writing this while tearing up for the second time this week. I spent the past 5 months waiting to study a course which would launch me into a career working with animals. It's my dream and still is! 

I applied online last week and yesterday I got the results of my application and due to the fact I said YES to i need funding support they rejected it and I was unsuccessful. I've been grieving this course for 2 weeks now and all I can do is cry about it because I wanted it so badly. I even found out that my job coach pushed so hard that she convinced the manager of my Disability Employment Provider to provider funding so I could do the course pending I get accepted in. Which obviously wont happen now. 

I just feel so down the dumps right now, both my two psychologists (one for anxiety/depression and the other PTSD) are very aware that this has impacted me severely. I just did some researching after getting the rejecting and found out that this particular organization has terrible management and terrible staff turnover. I checked GlassDoor reviews and Seek.com.au. So in general I feel my passion for animals doesn't align with their focus on making money - even if they are a very well known animal welfare organization Australia wide. 

So as you can guess right now I'm depressed and anxious, I'm trying to not tell myself that I'm a failure and that good news will come to me soon. 

Note: Yes I've considered applying for Centrelink DSP but both my psychologists agree its a "band-aid" solution to a bigger problem. And yes the thought of applying for the DSP gets me very stressed out. 

So I'm back to Square one and trying to navigate what to do. I'm considering potentially a job working at at dog groomer (I would require training as I havent have NO experience or training). And otherwise I would be happy to be an animal attendant at another organization that genuinely values animals and doesn't priorities profit. So yeah - I dont know if anyone else is currently going through something similar to me. Dealing with constant doors closing infront of their faces and having to pick themselves up over and over again. 

I dont want to give up but right now I'm trying to fight for a career I want but so desperately confused how in the world I am going to get there. I wish there was a guidebook for this stuff. 

Signing off with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart. 

R

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Well a heavy heart means a big heart and your love of animals reflects that.

I have a few things that might give food for thought as I was a dog ranger for 3 councils and my wife and I love animals.

In general with life however a back up plan is always a good idea. If you had a voluntary role as a thought and said "if I dont get into this course I'll try that voluntary role, if I dont get that I'll try this or that". That's with everything you do and it results in bad news not completely devastating you.

Depending where you live the RSPCA might be worth a call. They have animal shelters or they know of local shelters that care for stray or injured animals. We have a friend that joined one but she has to drive 60km to the location at her own expense so try to find one locally. A racetrack always has horse owners that need a hand. All these non paying roles can lead to something more substantial down the track.

As in my local Government roles many years ago there can be dog ranger work and you do work together with the RSPCA and other organisations to help out as it cost too much for those organisations to send someone out to a paddock hours away. 

Finally, its quite common for us humans to find life intolerable. One of the contributing factors is that we dont accept life as it is- it can be hurtful, people can be nasty, workplaces can be also and competition is now ruthless as there are so many applicants for positions vacant. We simple must end up doing three things- 

• Have a plan B, C, D
• Accept that life is not easy
• Seek motivation.

Motivation is best found attending lectures by successful people, coaches of sports and so on. The thread below could inspire you.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life/td-p/154525

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/negatives-to-positives/td-p/409635

Your best is always good enough

TonyWK

[Rach28]

Hey there! I dont know if i wrote this in my original post. But Im currently connected to 2 different psychologists. One for my anxiety/depression and the other for my PTSD/trauma. And recently did an ESA assessment through Centrelink and ive been approved for a 6 months medical exemption due to my mental health affecting my ability to look for work and/or study. I just feel really low mood wise and my motivation levels are really low too. I just still have no idea what Plan B, C, D etc i will do now. 

I'm potentially looking into volunteering over the next 6 months and connecting with both my psychologists to work on my motivation and deal with this low mood affecting my ability to function. I'm just feeling very burnt out after all this effort. During these 6 months I dont have to job search or attend job provider appointments. So I just need to report to Centrelink. So yeah I'm hoping even if this time is hard being on Centrelink still, very financially stressful regardless maybe I can find some solutions and support that will rebuild my self-esteem, self confidence and motivation again. I am just so burnt out. 

I want to work with animals and its such a unique career field. Its very competitive, and I'm competing with high school aged teenagers. So its very frustrating that I'm in my early/mid 30s and trying to compete with them. 

Just really frustrating this entire process with no road map. 

Thanks for responding and hoping that somehow I can pick myself up again. 

R x