Being away from home and my dogs makes me feel crazy.
This week I am not coping, I feel like I'm stuck in a well screaming for help.
I just wanted to talk to someone, general conversation, to feel wanted and respected, cared about.
I just wanted my boyfriend to call me and to want to listen or talk to me. He's the only person I wanted to talk to at the time. But he was always to busy, and I realize now its not because he doesn't care or doesn't want to, its just that hes had a lot on too. But me being me couldnt be normal and control my emotions and instead have splurted everything out, ruined a surprise I had for him by telling him out of anger. Made him not want to speak to me at all, and left me feeling soooooo angry and sad. BUT........ I feel like he should try to understand more, he works away also and get very depressed when hes gone and I always make sure I am there for him, even when hes losing it. And I feel like he provokes me to push and push me coz he knows I will hate my self for days and be miserable while hes out and he knows I will then worry and make my self sick over it. 😞
In general I feel like im so lost, I know im not a bad person I know I shouldnt let things get tome, but I cant control it, I cant seem to stop the CRAZYNESS going on in my head. I just want some relief.
Home in 6 days though... surley I can keep it together. The days go slower and slower.
LP
