Feel like I've hit a wall

[gloria10]

Well, it has been a while since writing. I thought I was managing okay, but I'm starting to see that I've been trying to control everything instead and putting more and more on myself. I think a lot of it started last year when I noticed I was really overweight and it shocked me. I've been trying to lose weight ever since, but I've been putting so much pressure on myself. I think it's because my dad passed away from heart complications and I'm worried I'll end up like him.

I'm also finding it hard to find a suitable place to work as I cant seem to concentrate on anything. I also feel like I'm letting people down and worrying more about them.

Recently when I tried to go to work, I felt like I hit a wall and I just couldn't go in. I think my depression has come back as I've been feeling exhausted, teary and overwhelmed. I am seeing a GP tomorrow for help as it has been a long time coming, but what are some positive ways to deal with this?

[Fiatlux]

I tried so hard for too long to carry on as usual.

I had to take time out and acknowledge that I was having a complete breakdown.

Not only was it difficult to concentrate and stay motivated, my body was showing signs of a physical breakdown.

My mind and body were broken.

I know that it’s very difficult to get stress leave with uncertain work conditions.

if I can focus on work for a few hours a day, I have made progress.

I was relatively fit and healthy a few years back. After a particular traumatic event, my weight plummeted to being under weight. I got myself healthy again and once again I was under stress, I started gaining weight. I am once again getting my weight back down to healthy.

My weight fluctuates and at my age this is unhealthy and put me at a high risk for developing type 2 diabetes.

Your GP is a great place to start for healthy weight loss advice.

Good luck and remember to take it slowly.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Sorry to hear you're struggling, but so great to hear you're going to check in with your gp. I wonder if you take the time to do nice things for your physical and mental health, such as exercise (of any kind) for endorphins and physical wellness, and meditation/mindfulness for stress. There are some great apps out there and these things have been proven to be beneficial while not being too taxing.

I hope your appointment is productive tomorrow. Good on you for checking in 🙂

Katy

[gloria10]

I like the idea of 'if I can do a few hours, I have made progress'. Thats positive. When I start a job I tend to put pressure on myself that I must stay long term and it must work out, but I'm learning slowly that it doesn't always. Maybe I need to change that.

Sorry to hear you are having struggles with your health too, I hope it improves for you.

[gloria10]

Hi Katy, yeah thought it was time to get help. I feel I can manage certain things, but I realized I need more of a support network.

Meditation is a good idea. I used to meditate a lot, but after Dad's passing, I found it hard to relax. Perhaps I need to try that again.

I exercise 3 days a week at the moment, nothing too physical due to an injury that set me back, but I notice it does help the mindset.

[missep123]

Hi gloria10,

Firstly I would like to say that it's really great that you noticed you needed some more support and wrote this post (and that you are going to see a GP). That takes a lot of strength because it can be hard for us to reach out when we need it.

It really sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders. I relate to the thoughts that you have been having as well. We can put so much pressure on ourselves but one thing I learnt was 'self-kindness'. I realised that I was being really tough on myself and without realising it, telling myself things that I wouldn't even say to a friend! For example 'you need to be the best at this' or 'why did you do that?'. Now I have been on a journey to be as gentle as possible. It's definitely a challenge but I think it has been helping me!

Please keep us updated, we are definitely here for you!

[gloria10]

Thank you. It was daunting seeing him as he’s a new doctor, but he took time and was understanding. I’m looking for a psychologist too, which I’ve been putting off.

I’ll give myself some down time 😊 thinking about trying to socialise more in time.

[missep123]

That is awesome gloria10!

Very proud of you for seeing the doctor (even though I know it can be daunting) and that you have been thinking about a psychologist. Step by step! It sounds like you are on the right path.

It's great to also recognise when you need to recharge your batteries (that's how I often see it) and really focus on yourself. Socialising eventually sounds like a great idea!

Please keep us updated, we are definitely here for you!