Every things going wrong

[Tiny_tears]

I'm in my 30's and 3 years ago I spit from a long time relationship, he kept the kids due to me having to move into my car for a bit. I took it to court to get visits and I do, I see them every second weekend, but for the past 3 years I just haven't been able to make anything work. I always end up worse of at the end of the year then when it started. 

Last year ended with me living in a back packers and not really having much going for me. 

During the year I got a good paying job and a apartment and everything seemed to be going ok for a few months, but the apartment block was to noisy and was affecting my work so I left and moved in with a friend. Well not even a month later I lose my job, I lose my licence, and my house mate kicked me out all in a space of 3 months. Now I back living in my car with out a licence and I can't even see my kids. I'm extremely depressed and just feel sick all the time, I'm nasty and hurtful to people and I'm just not a nice person to be around.

I didn't have a good childhood my parents bought me to wa as a kid and dumped me on the side of the road the day we go here and I haven't seen them since, 

I just feel like I'm a failure in life I can't do anything right

i cant bare not seeing the kids they are only 6 n 8. And I feel like I've let them down so much. 

I suck at living life and I don't know what to do.

[Chicken_Wings]

Hey Tiny Tears,

I read your replies. Life can be so frustrating, I really feel for you. 

I totally understand you feeling like its not possible to be happy, especially away from your kids. Keep in mind, that every step you take towards getting where you want to be is a good step. You don't have to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, but you are allowed to feel happy (and proud) about making those steps. 
Step one was reaching out to beyond blue. Step two was joining this forum. You're already on your way.

Add to that the fact that you are looking for work, you haven't given up, and you have some things you are allowed to be pleased about.

There is another thread on here where you write 3 things you can be thankful for each day. I write in there when I'm having a bad day, just so I can remind myself that there are things that are good in my life. Maybe doing the same will help you too? Even if its just that its still only 30 degrees in Perth and not 40 like it normally is this time of year!

I honestly believe that one of the best things you have going for you is your desire to be better. Make sure you hold on to that. 

One other thing that could help is having a plan for when you're feeling low.
Sometimes feelings strike me when I least expect them and it can be scary and my first reaction is fight or flight, because thats natural.
You either run away, maybe by ignoring the problem, binge eating or having a drink. You feel better in the short term, but the problem hasn't gone away.
Or you fight, you might have an argument, or get mad at someone and it makes you feel bad on the inside or do something silly.

But if you have a plan to help yourself, then it can make it easier to deal with.
For example have someone you can talk to either on the phone or in person, this might be the beyond blue help line or a friend you trust.
Have some relaxation exercises you can do if you're feeling anxious or scared.
Have something you can do, like writing in a journal or just come on here. Or if you're creative, have a little sketch book and doodle in it.

I find that when I take some time to step back I am better able to manage my feelings. Personally, I find talking to someone the most helpful, but everyone is different.

I hope my advice is helpful TT, I have faith that you things will begin to look up for you again.
 

[White_Rose]

Dear TT

I'm sorry I have not written to you earlier. I have had a few problems of my own so can only write in here infrequently at the moment.

I can see how you became tangled up in your life as you explain more of your story. Such a difficult set of circumstances. People often dismiss their own difficulties by saying that others are worse off than them. Well this may be true but is not a reason why you should not receive help. If we waited our turn in life for help there would be a huge queue. When you need help, ask for it. Other people's problems are just that, other people's problems. You are your priority at the moment.

Have you approached organisations such as the Salvation Army or Anglicare for help with accommodation? Or any other local help agency? Are you entitled to CentreLink payments? Your immediate safety is important and living in your car is not a safe option.

It is unfortunate, but totally understandable, that you drank too much and lost your license. It sounds as though you become quite overwhelmed by situations such as these and need a way to help you cope. Can you talk to a local GP about this or perhaps your local mental health team.

You sound like a resilient person who will keep trying to get on with life. Keep writing in here for support if you can.

Mary