Don't know where to start

[illusionanddreams]

Hello everyone,

I really need some counseling and guidance on what I should do. Any help is appreciated. Also, English is not my first language so please do not mind if things do not make sense at times.

I came to Aus for my graduate studies. I have had issues since I was a teenager. My first years in Australia were also very tough and put an emotional stress on me. I have a habit of keeping things inside me. No matter what I go through, I prefer not to share it. And I guess issues kept piling up and I feel the burden weighing me down. It took me 5 years to finish my 3 years course. I barely passed subjects. I skipped 95% of the class. Sleeping became my safe space. When I am asleep, I do not have to think about the real world. I can pass time so much easily. I do not have to deal with issues. So, I kept sleeping. I would call in sick at work to sleep. I was working full time but on my days off, I would cancel plans to sleep. And no matter how much I slept, I still yearned for sleep, I was just so tired all the time. I gained so much weight and I was working so much and not eating at all. A few months later, I was diagnosed with Hypothyriodism which I thought explained all my issues with sleep and depression. So I did not seek any medical advice about my depression thinking that my medications for thyriodism would cure everything.

It has been a few years now and I am on medications for my thyroid issues and I do go for regular check ups but nowadays things have become unbearable. This whole week I called in sick at work and I slept until 2-3pm and did not eat until someone asked me to. I do not have thoughts of suicide and I really want to have a meaningful life but nothing interests me anymore.. nothing. I just wake up and watch tv all day to fill this void in my heart. I avoid talking to family/people, I avoid opportunities, Iavoid seeing people, I lie so often so that I can lay inside my room. And people may think I am lazy but laziness cannot be this severe. I do not know if I should see someone for this because I am an international student and have no medicare benefits and things might be expensive.

I am thinking of quitting my job and do something that I am passionate about, but I really really need to address my issues. I thought I could control things like I always do but I don't think it will happen this time. I want to face my issues because I have stopped being the person that I am.

Please help me on what you think I should do now.

Thank you.

[Doolhof]

Hi illusionanddreams,

Welcome to the community here on the forum. It is not always easy to share what you have experienced, even more so when you usually keep everything inside.

I'm sorry I don't know what to suggest regarding receiving help while you are a student. There is a section here on Multicultural, there may be information there on where you can receive help as a student.

f you are still studying there may be a counsellor at the Uni or where you are studying who can help you.

You are certainly welcome to share more of how you are feeling here. You can also use the phone help line for beyondblue on 1300 22 4636, the support people may be able to put you in touch with people who can help you.

Depression can certainly make us feel very emotionally drained, tired and make it hard to live life effectively.

It is important to eat healthy, to drink water and to try to get some exercise as well. Is it possible for you to try to go for a short walk 3 times a week or even once a week to start with.

Can you try to set a limit for when you sleep? Set a time to go to bed and a time to get up and try to stick to that.

It might help to write a list of things you want to achieve and need to achieve in a day. See how many things you can achieve. If you do just one thing on the list that you did not achieve yesterday, that is good!

Try to tell family and friends how you are feeling. Some may be able to help you and understand.

Hope you manage to find some help where you are and feel welcome here as well.

Cheers from Dools

[Quercus]

Hello illusionanddreams and welcome to the forums,

Over sleeping can be one of the signs of depression. The three times in my life I experienced major depressive episodes all I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't want to be present.

Have you visted a doctor? If not that would be appropriate. If you book a long appointment it will give you time to discuss what is happening within you.

Not having access to Medicare is a stress! As previously being a student I'm hoping perhaps you still have Overseas Student Health Cover. Have you contacted your provider to see what type of services they cover and the out of pocket costs?

If you see a psychiatrist they are able to prescribe medication. You need a referal from a GP to see a psychiatrist. If you see a psychologist they cannot so you will have to see a GP also for your medication if needed.

Also have you looked into whether your uni allows access to low cost health services to past students? It's worth a try.

There are also low cost mental health services available within the community. It just takes a bit of searching. You could ask your GP about any options they know of.

Also before you consider quitting your job... Does your employer have an Employee Assistance Program? Please ask because if they do your employer will pay for a number of visits. Some help is better than none.

Above all... What you are describing... That is NOT laziness. Please be gentle on yourself. I'm not a doctor but it is easy to see there is something more happening with you and you need support.

If you check out the K10 checklist on the beyondblue website (under 'the facts') you can do a test to give you some indication of whether you are experiencing depression or anxiety. Please show these results to your doctor.

I hope you keep writing to us. Also if you need to talk in real time please use the helplines listed at the bottom of the screen. They do help and you deserve the support to feel better.

Nat