Don’t feel anymore

[BeeFaace]

Ohk so this is my first time doing this just wanted a heads up if anyone knows what’s going on or if anyone else feels like this or tips to help please..

so I’m sorta going through something at the moment like life has got me at the point where I don’t care about anything anymore. Iv withdrawn myself from society I fake my emotions. I don’t know when the last time I was actually happy or sad. Actually in all truth it sorta feels like I don’t feel anything anymore except black I don’t feel sad, love, happy just angry black blah that’s the only way I know how to explain it. I wake up everyday and I have to force myself or trick myself into thinking I’m happy or sad but it’ just feels numb please help need answers before it gets any worse

[Nags]

Hey BeeFacee,

I have also felt this way long back and I still feel it almost everyday. I used end up shut myself up in the room and binge-eat to stop feeling this way (BUT PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS as it effects health and just makes it worse). Then I started to check out this website tinybuddha.com where you can read random articles of how people get through their worse days (which changed the way I think and then changed the way I care for myself and others). I also started gratitude journal-ing (given by my sister but she herself wouldn't follow this) to fake my happiness (but guess what, I started to feel that whatever I faked made me a little bit like that), and I spent time just pondering on myself asking why do I feel this way. For me it turned out to be that I was caring too much for others that I shut my own inner thoughts up and it ended up numbing me.

For a start I would say, avoid friends who make you feel the way you do but talk to those who makes you feel even a little better than before (i never had anyone who made me feel better, if it is for you too then do the stuff I tried next). Drink some chamomile tea (helped me relax). Read tiny buddha (to put my thoughts into something of the same content). Running and gymming (only time I think a lot but do physical work and/or also do not think at all and do physical work - which in the end makes me feel better within 30minutes). Cold showers (coz I feel that if I punish my body (but remember, in a good way) and survive, then I will conquer my mind.

These things will not change you directly, but I hope they help in some way indirectly.

Even my sister is going through something like this right now but I am afraid to tell her these things coz I feel she will think that I am trying to be smart by saying these things (which has actually numbed me around her). But I am trying to slowly get these habits around her (I hope she listens). Anyway I am saying this here coz you will read this and you can ignore it if you want, or follow it). These things helped me. It could help you too. And I hope more than anything, you and my sister who are experiencing this, get over it and lead a happy and fulfilling life :')

[BeeFaace]

Hey thanks for the advise I’m open to try anything but yeah iv felt like this for a few years now but it’s just getting worse and worse. I feel I need medication but I don’t want to head in that direction. So I’m seeking new ideas. Like the tips for relaxing I’ll def try because I’m a young mother and stress is never ending for me. But yeah that’s why I’m asking for help because I need to better myself for my children. I try my hardest to put a smile on everyday for them but some days it just doesn’t happen.

The way I’m feeling is definitely not because of my children they are the only spark of any thing that I feel atm it’s just from what I’m going through I don’t want it to Get any worse like being a mum and having no feeling is bad enough

[Gambit87]

Hi Beefaace!

welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out!

I cannot relate to how you feel enough.

For years I felt nothing (ok, nothing is a bit of a strong word) but feelings I knew I should of had when I did certain things I didnt feel. I didnt enjoy anything, I felt kinda robotic in life - just going through the motions. Id always just put on a 'happy mask' to face the world, but in reality I was not kind to myself, I never talked about my feelings - just repressed them and got on with it. I did have days were I felt normal and did feel feelings! but those days were few and far between.

anyhoo - that bit me in the butt and I had a breakdown. It forced me to recognise I had a problem and that I needed help. I saw my GP (cried in her office) and she helped me with a mental health care plan and now im seeing a great psychologist. I have depression, anxiety and OCD. It sounds like you could have depression (in my armchair opinion).

Firsty, talk to your GP! - I cant recommend that enough. lay it all out and they will point you in the right direction.

Ask for a mental health care plan and speak to a psychologist. Ive only had 5 sessions with my psychologist so far and I feel like ive accomplished alot already.

Get back out there, as hard has it is you need to get back out there. Isolating yourself only makes depression worse. Baby steps (i say to myself) start off with something small - short walk around the block or a walk to your favourite cafe, do small tasks etc. Talk! Talking about feelings is something I never did - Now im not afraid to tell someone how Im feeling. It helps so much.

remember to be kind to yourself. You're going to have setbacks! instead of beating yourself up (as I did) just say thats ok - there's always tomorrow or that didn't work? lets try doing this thing another way.

Meditation! Not as crazy as it sounds! its weird at first but stick with it, after a while it gives a sense of calmness and feeling centered (well atleast it does for me). check out the smiling mind app!

Mindfullness - check out this thread -
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/mindfulness-what-is-it-(even-if-you-dont-know-please-post-so-we-can-help-grow-the-forums-accordingly)

I hope I have been of some help! depression is brutal but it can be managed! It would be great to hear how you get on! (only if thats ok).

All the best!

[therising]

Hi BeeFaace

My heart goes out to you as you struggle deeply with the challenges you face. Btw, agree when it comes to the amazing ability our kids have, to raise us. I'm mum to a 14yo boy and 17yo girl.

We're typically not raised to really feel emotion (energy in motion) within our self in deeper ways. The only time we may really notice things in an obvious way is when we interpret them to mean something is 'wrong'. If there's a build up of emotional unease we may feel it in the form of pain or tension (eg. if someone in our life is being a real 'pain in the neck'). When we're confronted with a situation which leads us to rise to a moment of courage, we may feel a rise we interpret as anxiety. Mind and body definitely work together.

So, without people having taught us to look for the finer details regarding subtle emotional shifts, we can be left with the impression we just can't feel life anymore. I'll give you a scenario most mothers can relate to and see if you can sense the subtle shifts within. It'll be an interesting exercise: If you can imagine a time when your child was hurt (say, they fell over). Suddenly you can feel your heart begin to race as this overwhelming shot of energy makes it's way up to your throat, taking your breath away, and then, bamm, up to the brain it all shoots so you can calculate a plan of action within a split second. Most of us won't feel a change of blood pressure in our head when this happens. The whole thing is like a massive power surge. There are times when our kids will lead us to tears of pride and joy, we're we feel choked up with emotion. There are times when they'll tug on our heartstrings and we'll feel the subtle shift in our heart's energy. There'll be times when we simply look their way and feel our connection to them in so many ways (the feeling of pure love).

To meditate on feeling the subtle shifts in our self is an interesting exercise. It's an exercise that can require a bit of imagination. See if you can recall a variety of emotional events in your life when trying such an exercise and take notice of where, in your body, you feel the sensitive shifts. This is an amazing way to get to know your self.

Another exercise to try: Pick a fairly minor stressor (start small) and see if you can shift your mindset into seeing it as a challenge to rise to. Take notice of all the finer details within the challenge. Use as many of the 5 senses as you can. You may even try feeling your way through the challenge.

🙂

[BeeFaace]

Hey thanks heaps I might just do that. I was a bit scared to go to my gp because I think it might be more than just depression but I might give it a try. I just don’t want to be put on pills. Iv been on pills for depression before and I ended up in hospital because they made me feel, think and act weird. I will definitely try your ideas though anything I can do without medication is a plus.

[BeeFaace]

That’s a really different way of looking at things. I might try that over the next few weeks. Thank you so much for these tips I really appreciate it. I have a few kids oldest is 11 and youngest is 2 so this advice is really great. I really just want to stop feeling black on the inside it’s like I’m already dead or yeah sorta like robotic I don’t know??

[Gambit87]

You are more than welcome.

My GP mentioned anti depressants to me but I didn't want to go on them.

I find if I stick to my self care plan I can get by fairly well. I still have ups and downs but that does with depression i guess.