Doing things extremely out of character

rooster · ‎15-06-2014

Hi everyone, just after some advice. I have suffered from major depression, ptsd and also anxiety. For the past 10 years I have built myself up to be able to cope with everyday life without living in the pit of dispair that many live with day to day.

Over the last few months I have been slowly sliding into a

huge depression of which I haven't been in in a very long time. I have started drinking a lot to mask the inner pain I am going through. I also am finding myself doing things extremely out of character. I have spent the past few days on benzodiazepines trying to stop my mind racing. Does anyone have any tips to help get back to the person I built?

vip · ‎15-06-2014

Hi Rooster that alcohol is a big no no . With depression alcohol masks the pain and I know if I have more than 1 glass of wine my mood changes so quickly. Yes everyone around me finds that I make them laugh and am so funny but its not right . Look go straight to your GP and get on the right medication you need a referral to a psych as well . Getting drunk regularly is an addiction and means you drink because you are not happy especially in our adult years . Ok teenage and young adult you are experimenting like everyone has but there comes a time when this getting drunk behaviour has to stop and its definitely not the way to cure depression . Hope this helps you and please seek help.

Struggler · ‎15-06-2014

Hi Rooster

Welcome to BB and congratulations on making the first post.

Sen is 100% right! please go back to your GP for an assessment. You can't fight this beast that is depression alone. Please get back to us and let us know how you are getting along. This is a very supportive community we have here. We'll help you as much as we can.

I am waiting for your next post and take care.

Struggler

rooster · ‎16-06-2014

Thank you Sen and Struggler for your replies. I made the decision on Saturday to remove all alcohol from the house which is a good first step. I am just really struggling with the symptoms of it all. Over the years I have had methods to over come all of these but for some reason I don't seem to be able to this time. All I want to do is bury my head in the sand hide away from everyone and everything and scream and cry. The constant feeling of nausea and wanting to vomit is getting me down. And also this over welming feeling to just run are things that I forgot about and what it was like to have them. And it is sending me through huge panic attacks. I have a extremely loving and supportive wife who is watching me go through this and listening to every word I have to say. I feel so guilty that she has to see me like this. But if it wasn't for her I would be in a lot of a worse place right now.

As of right this minute I am trying to mentally prepare myself for work which is at this point in time one of the hardest things I have gone through, through this bout I am suffering. Just thought of having to deal with people and be in public is scaring me and making me feel extremely sick to my stomach.

vip · ‎16-06-2014

You have done the first big step there to remove that alcohol well done. Know that feeling about everyone staring at you when your in public . Will make you laugh I went out one night with some girls and they took me to a fancy bar. Not even in a minute this guy rushes up to me hello beautiful theres a full moon tonight I turned and just told him to go away haha now my friends said be careful that guy could have done something really bad to you . You know Im always thinking is he there to make a move or just make conversation or better still why the hell look at me go and look at someone else do you know how relieved I was when he chatted up my friend who was single and this guy well married and took his ring off and said see not married what a charmer hey NOT. Anyway point is yes dealing with the public people in general is scary as I would like to think im getting better with it but theres always that trust thing with me that will always remain . Your wife sounds like the best support there look after her and be thankful that you have somebody that loves you with all there heart . Hope this story made you feel better and so that you don't feel alone

rooster · ‎16-06-2014

At least you made a big step going out. That's a extremely brave thing to do. It takes a lot of inner strength to go out on town.

On a good note tonight I am feeling happier and my beautiful wife has even made me laugh for the first time in over a week. I know by no means does it mean I am better because all the feelings are still there. But it is a nice small step in the right direction ☺. Also talking to you has helped more then you can imagine. It is hard to forget we are not along and there are others out there that just want to help and be helped. I am so great full to you Sen and Struggler for taking the time to listen or should I say read (lol) and the want to help I am so thankful to you both.

vip · ‎17-06-2014

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better rooster no problem . You too will go out on the town too. Pick a nice restaurant with your wife or a nice café ect ect when your . Pubs and bars obviously alcohol is there so these are places to avoid. Go to a movie lots of activites out there you can do fun is not always alcohol related . Yep that laughter is a gem your wife is pointing you in the right direction .You will find as you get better you will make her laugh too and vice versa keep up the good work