does talking about it really help?

[zieb19]

I'm 32 years old and have barely ever talked about my depression. Whenever I talk about it I don't know how. when I do open up I feel like I'm lying about it and that other people have their own problems so why would I talk about my life, coz my life is text book easy really. Also I don't want people's sympathy or apathy. But sometimes I feel so overwhelmed like I need to get something out, it makes me feel so lonely and empty coz I don't know where to go. Sometimes I try to talk to my husband, but he doesn't understand or he feels my feelings of worthlessness makes him feel bad that his not good enough or I'm not happy with him.

I just don't know if I just keep pushing myself through life, I've managed to do well so far, or do I try to talk about with someone? Is it worth it? What do I even talk about? - hi I've struggled with depression on off for years but manage it pretty well these days but still feel like I'm drowning deep down.and???? What happens after that how does it make it better?

[IsaJett]

Hi zieb19

i never used to talk about it either ..but when I did ..it felt I took a load off . But the thing I find is ..when u do talk about it ...u sort of are telling your story ...and somehow ..and a lot of times ..u can actually see that depression sometimes seem to be a matter of choice ...well that’s my experience anyways ...everyone is different .

when I talk about it ..I realise why I felt what I felt ..why I did what I did.

it kind of teaches me where I might have gone wrong ..or let depression take over ....I see that this depression ..is all but a series of my bad reactions and then followed by bad decision-making coupled along with hopelessness attributing to why I spriralled down .. and hence all of this gives me a much clearer picture of where I have been ...and how I got there ...

and now I am self aware all the time and I totally see myself skewing one way going negative but can very quickly guide myself back up the right way ....so talking gives me a clear picture of mistakes made and coping strategies in future ...and being in this forum to help others ,,,that might not really see that light just yet . But I shine the torch best I can ..to help ...that there is light ..that there is definitely hope and that depression is definitely beatable .

Hope this helps you .always be kind to yourself ..

stay well

[Peppermintbach]

Hi zieb,

I hope it’s okay if I extend a second welcome to you to the forums. I’m so glad IsaJett has responded so warmly to you with so much insight and compassion 🙂

I can definitely relate to your mixed feelings about talking/opening up. I tend to be very guarded in the offline realm. Although it does sound like there’s a lot happening emotionally for you, and that you need some sort of release...

My gentle suggestion is maybe giving a helpline (e.g. BeyondBlue helpline) a call. The benefit of that is anonymity, plus you would be talking to a trained professional who is used to hearing about people’s personal struggles. Also it might be a good way to “practice” opening up. Perhaps this is something you might like to consider, but that’s completely your call. I’m merely making a small suggestion...

Plus of course, you’re welcome to continue writing here. Sometimes it’s easier sharing thoughts/feelings in writing rather than in person. So maybe writing here can help you lighten your emotional load a little...

Kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper

[Doolhof]

Hi zieb19,

I too welcome you to the community here on the forum. Depression can mean something different to each one of us. We all cope with it differently.

If it helps you to write more about how you are feeling here, than please do so. I know the forum and the people here have helped me immensely through some very dark times.

Regarding your husband he may just not know how to help you, not because he doesn't want to but he may have no idea what to do or say.

The Beyond Blue website has a lot of resources, including information on how people can help those with depression. You might find some ideas there.

When I am feeling lousy, my husband will offer me a cup of tea or take me out for a drive if that is possible. He tells me he doesn't know what to do to help me, and I don't know what to request from him either!

Talking about how you are feeling can help immensely, maybe you could consider using a phone help line like Pepper suggested or speak to your Dr and ask for advice.

Writing down how I am feeling helps me. I am starting up a journal that will reflect on the good things of my world, it will contain words of hope and possibilities to help encourage me to move forward. I also have a different book to write down all the darker thoughts and negativity. Getting it out of my mind helps!

I hope you feel comfortable here and know you are welcome to share your thoughts and feelings openly.

Cheers to you from Dools

[zieb19]

Thanx for your reply, Yes I think alot of it is choice. Sometimes I think I don't want to speak about it because I will feel better and then I won't have that anymore, it's kind of a feeling you get used to, shutting yourself in.

[zieb19]

Thankyou. I really appreciate the support. I thought I wouldn't like the forum thing, but it really is nice to hear from others and I think we can get strength from each other.I think you are doing a great job of supporting others 🙂

[zieb19]

Thanks for your ideas, I do journal sometimes my negativity but I think would like to try Journaling regularly it is good to get our thoughts down and also make us think of things we are great full for.

Yes you are right my husband just doesn't know how to help. We used to go out for drives but it's a bit harder now we have young kids but I think it is important to get out together and just get in a different space and focus on other things. It's good that your husband can support you in that way.

[zieb19]

Sorry that second thankyou was to pepper!

[IsaJett]

Thanks zieb ..I totally appreciate your kind words . It gives me great pleasure to help others and I feel good ...hehehe stay well .:-)

[Peppermintbach]

Hi zieb (and a wave to all),

Thank you so much for the supportive and encouraging words. Yes, it’s a great place here.

I think we all work together here in a supportive way. Team effort from every single person, relatively new or been here longer (it doesn’t matter as both are equally valued) to hold each other up by talking and sharing. It’s great having you on board 🙂

Kind thoughts,

Pepper