Depression

[Phoenix99]

Hi

i have been struggling to get anything done for the past 14 months. I am not seeing any improvement even though I have been in therapy and have tried different medications which I have a bad reaction to all of them. I am not interested in anything in life at all. I can’t think of a reason to be here at all! Actually I have no idea why I’m still here. I am so numb it hurts. Nothing stimulates me not even my phone or anything. Actually I do feel emotions inside but I just look blank on the outside. I just can’t express them. I don’t know what is going on. I want to scream out for help but I feel like I am trapped in my brain.

[Phoenix99]

Sometimes I am too overwhelmed to get out of bed. Then I start become overwhelmed about being overwhelmed. Then it is even harder to do anything. I feel trapped. 

[Scared]

Im the same.

I get out bed because I need to stop the feeling of being overwhelmed by anxiety because sleeping too long

In an hour the anxiety and sleepiness goes away then left with depression

I have to get a script filled today and Im dreading the effort.

So what I do is I dont put thought into the job I need to do.

I just do it on auto pilot and when im out it never seems that bad.

No thought just do is the only way I can get anything done.

Its as though when i dread the job I need to do it just makes it even harder.

Do you find that too ?

[Phoenix99]

Yes the only motivation I have to get out of bed is to stop feeling worse

[Scared]

Same

[james1]

Hey Phoenix99 and Scared,

The feeling of autopilot and numbness is so familiar to me. When I was most struggling with depression, the thing that troubled me most was not being motivated to do anything. Mostly, I just did things because other people said it was the right thing to do, not because I wanted to.

I don't know what changed, but I really tried to find things that would get me out of my head. I feel like my mind was just so overly stressed, I needed to find a way to give it a rest. I did a lot of running, reading, and cooking. But most of all, I was just really diligent with - if I caught myself thinking about thinking, I'd stop whatever I was doing and do something physical to stop the spiralling. 

I hope you are both doing better today.

James

[Scared]

Thanks for reply

I think running is good

I tried to tell younger people on here to try and run even if its only to experiment with improving mood.

I say that alot lately about Im here because so and so told me to be here whether it c/ link or pysc appt or other