The warmest of welcomes to you as you come here at a time in your life where such a challenging lack of vision leads you to question the way forward. My heart goes out to you, it truly does.
From one mum to another, I think one of the most important things to not lose sight of is just how great a visionary you actually are. While I've often questioned in the past why I can't see the way forward for myself at times, what came to mind one day was 'Your strength is in being a seer for others, based on the practice of seeing for others'. For years we've practiced seeing the best ways forward for our kids. From imagining/seeing the joy on their face when they open their lunchbox or eski at school (leading us to fill it like a true visionary), through to imagining what would bring them comfort in their most challenging times, we've seen so much for them and guided them through our visions for them. The question then becomes 'How well practiced am I in seeing for myself and guiding myself through what I see in my imagination?'. The answer can sometimes be 'I've had next to no practice' or 'I'm seriously out of practice'. If practice makes perfect, it can help explain why things can be feeling far from perfect in this case.
Even the greatest of seers need a seer for themself. Whether we refer to this type of person as a muse, a visionary, someone who leads us to set goals to reach or something else, they become our inspiration and our guide. I've found the best type of person for the job to be someone who absolutely loves seeing for others. They thrive on it. They're the type of person who won't see us as 'broken' but simply in need of a vision. So, they'll go into their imagination and find that vision for us. If we can't relate, they'll search for a different vision, one we can relate to. If they can lead us to see a goal to reach and if we're in need of stepping stones to reach that goal, they'll see the stepping stones too. Even if they only see the first step for the time being, it's that first step that offers some inspiration and change in direction.
I imagine you have been and still are a great visionary or seer for your kids and probably other people around you too. Could the ultimate challenge at this point involve you finding your visionary, your seer, your muse? Do you know anyone who has a brilliant imagination and an open mind? This could actually be one of your kids. They may have a daydreamer quality to them. They may be sage-like in some way or perhaps more high energy than most, while finding it relatively easy to tap into inspiration. They may also be someone who relates well to analogies. For example, if you were to say to them 'I feel like I'm lost in the middle of a forest where everything's dark. I can't see my way forward and I need someone to see for me, to shed light and show me the way', bamm, they'll be there in that forest scene with you (though their imagination). They may see the way forward, down a path you may never have considered. If they can lead you to fully imagine that path then, technically, you're on the right track. I know, all easier said than done. Btw, don't pick someone who's closed minded with a poor imagination or someone who simply advises 'You'll be right'. 'You'll be right' offers no vision at all. 🙂
