Depression

[naralle]

I had a good morning this morning but come lunch time my mood had changed and now my depression is hanging around like a bad smell. It also doesn't help that the weather is crap and it's been raining too. I'm just struggling with it this afternoon ☹️

[james1]

Hey naralle,

Ah I'm so sorry to hear it's been a tough afternoon for you, and that you've been dealing with depression. It's so surprising just how much of an effect the weather can have, but it's also such a real problem. I used to find a lot of comfort in just sitting quietly in the sun on my own, especially when I was generally feeling down. Something about the feeling of the sun's heat on my skin really helped.

Just a bit of a side note, I really like your profile picture. The flower is a beautiful colour and it's nice with the butterfly there too.

James

[therising]

Hi naralle

Strange to think some folk don't feel a change in the weather, a pressure shift in the atmosphere, a change of colour in the sky (from blue to grey). Some don't feel the vibe of a room when they walk into it, a sudden drop in their own energy levels, a shift of internal chemistry or the impact of of degrading words. I could go on with hundreds of things some people just don't feel but we'd be here all day. Then you have the people who feel or sense just about everything. In a way it's kind of like a superpower, the ability to feel/sense to this degree, but it can also definitely feel like a curse on occasion.

When folk talk about 'self understanding', it kind of conjures up gentle sage-like moments of self development, some zen-like experience. Personally, I've found the process to more so be like some form of torture at times. To hit on the revelation 'I'm a feeler' was pretty much a fast tracking moment. Instead of taking further weeks, months or years in trying to work out why I become so anxious or depressed at times, this revelation led me to realise 'I'm going to feel/sense a huge amount in life, therefor there's a need to manage how I do it'. How to turn the volume down on what I feel, how to constructively emotionally detach at times, how to seek a different feeling, when to get a better sense of something, which environments and people trigger me the most, where my tolerance threshold sits etc is the kind of self understanding that can take a heck of a lot of time and hard work. In fact, it can take a life time, based on the fact there'll always be new things to feel or sense - new environments, people, new and sometimes challenging sounds, sights, smells etc.

I know a few people who struggle intensely with the change of season (from warm to cold). My 20yo daughter's one. She has to manage strategically, as opposed to simply managing. Managing strategically determines her physical, mental and even soulful well being at times of the year that really challenge her. She actually goes into a bit of a grieving period when she feels herself losing the joy of the warm weather.

Besides the rainy dark kind of day being a trigger for you, can you get a feel for what that major energy shift was about?

[geoff]

Hello Naralle, with winter coming on, it's quite understandable that your mood changes and it can certainly be no incentive for wanting improve yourself, it's only when you want to snuggle up in front of the heater and watch a movie is when you are able to get better.

Don't push yourself, it will happen when the time comes.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[jaz28]

Hi there,

I am sorry you are going through this. It must be hard for you. Miserable weather definitely doesn't help!

Have you seen a doctor about your depression? Sometimes it is okay to be sad, as long as you have strategies to help yourself later.

Jaz xx

[naralle]

In the past week my depression has been active and I'm struggling to cope with it and what makes it worse is that I'm due for my monthly cycle so I'm emotional as well. I'm worried about my husband as he has depression and he is trying to cope with his mothers mental pardon the expression shit and we can't handle it no more and unfortunately there is no one else that in town family wise that can help. 

My husband mother is to put it politely a selfish person and it's affecting my depression and I can't really talk to my husband as he is having troubles coping as well. I'm really hard to stay positive but at the moment with everything that is going on I'm just struggling and trying to help my husband and being there for him as well 😞

[naralle]

Well Geoff I'm still struggling with my stupid depression and its either because i'm angry or I want to cry. I wish I never had the bloody thing.

[geoff]

Hello Naralle, you and your husband feelings can both be connected to his mother, especially if she only wants everything for herself, so at the moment you're caught up in a catch-22 situation, but perhaps your husband feels guilty if he left his mother alone, well he shouldn't because sometimes parents feed on their kids.

If she is demanding then there's no much you can do unless do what she wants, but this might not be appropriate for either you or your husband and if so, then somehow you might need to step away and get a worker from the council who can look after her.

This may not be what she wants but really only stepping away will benefit the two of you.

Therr is no harm in doing this because a demanding parent does not do anyone any favours.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[therising]

Hi narelle

That's a lot to be coping with but, of course, I don't have to tell you that. Sounds like you can feel how overwhelming it all is. Depression can be challenging on so many levels. Physically, chemical shifts (such as with that time of the month) can have terrible depressing side effects. Mentally, some of the shifts in inner dialogue and perception based on environmental factors (such as with the tormenting behaviour of others) can make things even worse. On a soulful level, that sense of disconnection from a from a friend/partner and life itself can definitely feel soul destroying at times. An overall 3 fold challenge can be so unbelievably tormenting.

I find if I'm not in a good headspace at times, I have to manage those around me differently. I may need a serious time out from some folk who really challenge me. Explaining to people something along the lines of 'I've got a fair bit I have to cope with at the moment, I need some time to myself' is typically enough to make it clear I'm not in a social mood. Of course, I'll put my hand up if I regard a person's need to see me as an emergency. One way to look at is...If I have a lot of emotional challenge emerging at a particular time in my life then it's my emergency and I need to treat myself with care. I figure, if I can feel the scales beginning to tip toward some form of breakdown (small or big), then it's time to rebalance and perhaps more calmly break down everything that has led up to such a significant imbalance. All easier said than done of course. So hard not to put our own needs on the back burner, especially if it's a habit.

So hard to set boundaries with people who expect so much from us. Setting boundaries time wise, when we've always been someone who shows up at the drop of a hat, can become a whole new challenge for everyone involved. Time well spent can involve the time it takes to care for our self.