Depression

[Daniel27472]

Iv been feeling like I’m worthless my whole life, ever since I was a young boy to where I am now. I was brought up by my parents to remind me that I’m a disappointment and that I mean nothing to them if I died. I was abused in so many ways by my parents, who at the age of 7 told me that they never loved me and wished that I died .. I just feel like my life isn’t anything other than nothing at all.

[Croix]

Dear Daniel27472~

I'd like to welcome you here ot the Forum. It is a good place to come to becuse many have had similar experiences.

Parents have a very special place in our lives, and with that goes an awful lot of power. If used with love and encouragement a young person can grow up confident and happy.

If it is used with cruelty and belittling the opposite happens, the young person can grow  up convinced of their lack of worth - after all those in authority told them so repeatedly. And sadly that is your circumstances.

Frankly your parents are unfeeling and unloving and I'm sorry you were saddled with them. I broke off with my parents as they to did not have any love in them, only selfishness.

Trying to get over the first part of your life -and the mental injuries it has caused you - is not easy. I have depression and anxiety but now live a happy and worthwhile life, but I did not get there by myself. And just telling someone thay are not worthless does not really work, it can be so ingrained an emotion that logic just slides off.

It was only when I received medical assistance things started to improve. So may I ask if you have medical assistance too?

If you would like you can come  back and tell us more about you life and what you face - you would be welcomed

Croix

[therising]

Hi Daniel

As a mum it always deeply saddens me we I hear of a child who was not raised but instead brought down in so many ways. While abusive parents may say 'You should be grateful for the roof over your head, the food we put on the table and your education we paid for', such things are simply not enough. They are in fact basic entitlements when it comes to having been brought into this world. It is a low bar a parent sets if this is all they give their child, while patting themself on the back for having done so.

You are left to manage one of the greatest challenges in life, if not the greatest challenge...' How do I raise myself?'. So many facets to raising our self, too many to list. Just a handful - how to raise yourself to define/know love (including love for yourself), how to raise yourself to levels of self esteem that will come to serve you, how to raise yourself in the ways of generating or creating vision (what you need to see in your mind when it comes to moving forward), how to raise yourself to find and feel joy, how to raise yourself to know who you naturally are as opposed to who others have led you to believe you are etc. Unfortunately, some parents teach lies for us to come to believe in, such as we shouldn't be here, we are worthless, we should never have been born or that we are unlovable. 

Raising yourself will be a mind altering life changing twofold challenge; not only will you be raising yourself to come to find all your abilities but you'll be doing it while recognising and letting go of lies. Establishing good guides through such a course is so important, people who can show you the way while helping shed light on some pretty dark parts of your path (leading you to better understand what makes those parts so dark). Whether you choose professional guidance, such as with a psychologist, or people you already know as friends or maybe a combo of both, do you think establishing your guides now could be a good start when it comes to the way forward? Daniel, as you step foot on this new course, what do you feel you need more than anything?

[geoff]

Hello Daniel, when parents make this type of comment, then they shouldn't be parents at all, simply because they don't deserve this honour.

You need to be loved, respected and appreciated while you were growing up and to realise that all kids make mistakes, but that's exactly how they learn, we have all been the same and that's precisely how we are educated.

With your parents giving you this impression certainly doesn't give you the opportunity to expand, because everything you do makes you query it, meaning it puts a negative attitude on what you try and do.

I don't know how old you are, but everything you do should be kept quiet from your parents, and it hurts me to say this, but under the circumstances, you would be treading a fine line.

I'd like to hear back from you.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Beth_123]

I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced such painful and hurtful treatment from your parents. No one deserves to be treated that way, and it's important to remember that their behavior and words are a reflection of their own issues and not a reflection of your worth or value as a person.

It's understandable that you're feeling worthless and like your life has no value, given the messages you received from your parents. But it's important to challenge those thoughts and recognize that they are not true. You are a valuable and worthy person, and you deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness.

It may be helpful for you to seek support from a therapist or counselor who can help you work through these difficult feelings and experiences. They can also provide you with tools and strategies to help build your self-esteem and develop more positive self-talk. Remember that healing is possible, and you are not alone.

[Richju]

Dear Daniel27472,

I'm so very sad to hear your story of abuse by your parents and I hope you will find some support in this forum. 

I wonder if you can think of anyone in your life who was kind to you? Perhaos a teacher or a neighbour. If you can think of someone, try to think of how these people helped and bask in their kindness.

You have plenty of courage to write as you did and I wonder if you've had a chat to your GP about this. He or she may be able to put you in touch with a social worker or a counsellor. There are some lovely people around who can support you to trust others and feel safe in the world. You deserve this dear Daniel.

I hope you will continue to post on the forum as we are all here for you.

Warmest regards,

Richju xx

[Guest_1282]

Bit of a shock to see this Daniel, to this extent anyway. Not great at all, in fact quite tough will say have felt and had some experiences. Often where feel like Im quite the burden on others, so yeah anyway hope u can find some improvement from here and other places like this as such. Pretty drained myself anyway all the best mate  

[David35]

One thing I've learnt over the years, mainly due to the betrayal of my brother when I needed him the most in my life, was this. Your self worth isn't determined by the way others treat you. It's determined by who you are as a person. The problem when they are close relatives, is that we put so much trust in their opinions. But sometimes, as in your case, those opinions are simply false. They aren't true. Often they are a projection of how they feel about themselves. Having said that, no one deserves to be treated like you have and I feel deeply sorry for you.