depression or anxiety? Or neither?

[allisonwonderland]

Hi everyone,

I've just recently fallen into another one of what I've named "bad patches," where a trigger pushes me into a month or two of lethargy, low mood and anxiety (more so than usual). It's not all day every day, because I can be distracted, but it's a general feeling of grey with days of true sadness. Last week I was really foggy in the mind and absolutely lethargic (could have been down to sleep deprivation) and when I saw a psychologist she said I was exhibiting symptoms of depression. It's never been called this before, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. 

This week I'm coming out of the fog and seem to be thinking a bit clearer, but with that has come this paralysing fear because I know that I have to face life again. It's as if I want to hide behind the sadness and lethargy so I can just stay in bed and not face up everyday. It makes me really hate myself and feel like a coward. I wanted to know if anybody else experiences this. There's this voice in my head that's telling me that I'm a fake, and that I just need to get over it and stop being weak because it clearly wasn't anything serious. The problem is that instead of listening to that voice and pulling myself out of it I just retreat further into an anxious state. I am confused about what's going on- it just seems so layered and complicated. 

[white knight]

Hi Allison welcome

You are getting treatment- well done.

Recent studies found that if one has depression then while in a cycle (or "bad patch") then its best not to fight it and allow it to run its course, then to implement lifes adventures etc. You seem to be fighting it.

This of course is easier said than done. Most of us cant place life "on hold".

Ill feeling about ourselves, feeling guilt with excess sleeping, perceived as being lazy, unmotivated....you'll read all about this from the many previous threads on our forum. A common stream.

Anxiety and depression in my experience, and more so the acceleration of it is best prevented than cured. Often depression becomes a lifetime illness better managed than cured.

So due to the above I suggest you continue with your psychologist and work closely with your GP especially if you have depression as medication is one important ingredient to recovery or best management. The other ingredients like working and living environment, fixing family issues, seeking secure financial situations and support around you.

Take care. Post anytime. We are here.

Tony WK

[White_Rose]

Hello Allison

Welcome to Beyond Blue. What you describe could be me at the moment. I find myself back in the foggy mind, grey days, not wanting to face life and feeling a fake. I know if I give it time and make an effort it will go away but I don't want to do this because it's too much like hard work. So don't beat yourself up about it. Take Tony's advice and allow it run its course. It will be hard, but again as Tony has commented, it will go faster if you don't fight it.

You are not weak, a coward, lazy or any of the names you call yourself. And pulling yourself out of it is unlikely. It sounds like enough to make anyone depressed. BB has lots of information about depression so I suggest you explore the site and download or send for this information. Start with the tabs at the top of the page. Information will really help you. So will a good psychologist and GP. If you have both hang on tight. worth their weight in gold.

Read other posts in the Depression forum and perhaps join in some of the conversations. I often finf I am giving myself good advice when I talk to others.

Write in again.

Mary