Depression - life

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

Some will know l've had my ups and downs for sure but l wanted to start this as a new and separate thread bc the old one wound up all about gf ex.

Just for the most that won't know though and happen to drop in, l got rid of of my place 6mths back and went caravaning 51/2 mths, just couldn't deal with another place at the time and just felt like a bloody good break and rest first.

Wasn't sure how l'd feel about it but it wasn't bad and at times really nice just being free for a bit but later 50s there were also the worries of what to do when l get back. Well back now is too my other place it's not really that l had two houses the second one is just a country block with a cabin in a tiny town that l just rent out, never lived there. Well the tenant moved out so that's where l've come back to, l need to fix it up and sell it toward my new place.

This little town this whole thing , not doing me any good at all in this stage of life. l did have to get out of my other place don't regret it it had to be done but it's just been such a huge last 10yrs or so. Divorce and all thenlater on just broken up with later new gf now ex just last yr and now all this and here l am in this place- and then l'll be somewhere else to where l'm thinking of moving to, maybe even building . lf so it'll only be small and minimalist buttt, ldk

Just feel like total bs it's all too much and it's like what in the hell am l even doing especially here right now and at this age but ldk how else l could've done things.l had to get out of my last place, l have to be here to fix up this one and it's somewhere at least to stay, it'll be  a few mths.

Been coming here 20yrs keeping this place up and all the same people are still here couples been together and still here all that time and still sitting in their homes watching tv and doing their lives together.

The total opposite lives to mine and now l;m even single and here doing this and then wherever later restarting again andddd, it's all just sooooo, words l can't use here.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

Yes, I think just being where I am for now is what I can manage. I feel I will know when I’m ready to make a move. If I could find more community and connection here staying may even be possible. I have thought of doing more regular housesitting in the city as a way of staying connected up there. At the moment it’s all open to various possibilities.

In terms of buying a new place, if interest rates fall further affecting house prices it could well work in your favour holding off for a bit. Someone in the city recommended to me I do try and sell soon and buy when prices are lower. But I know, even though that makes financial sense, I’m just not in the place for it just yet.

It sounds like beautiful weather up on the river. It would be nice if you still had the kayak, but as you say it might feel like you’ve only just been up there and want to do something different. It’s great you can kind of go with how you feel. 

Thanks, yes, taking it fairly easy since home. Had a new hot water system installed after the last one developed a leak and another plumbing issue came up today. But getting there, tackling one thing at a time.

I hope you’re having a great weekend,

ER

[randomxx]

Nice er and hey , you might well decide to stay put yet and fair enough bc mind you mine was just that town others , they're all different aren't they. lt's not unusual for regional areas to take some time though for newer arrivals is it.

Funny though, gf ex has been in the middle of Sydney 4yrs now and has never even spoken to a neighbour in her units but, she prefers that anyway.

Something new though yeah , could well happen with prices who know's in this country the way it's going buttttt, not to worried about that side of things atm, will see when time comes.

rx

[randomxx]

Speaking of prices.

l've just been having a few little property browses last few days, nothing serious right now just a quick sticky beak.

But in my search l also included my old main town , not where my house was but the larger main town 25mins away.

lt's a damn nice place that one, it's on the coast with gorgeous beaches and walks, got pretty well everything you need, a really nice looking place with the ocean in the background , great size.

Prices there have gone stupid last 5-6yrs didn't think there'd be anything affordable for me these days but weirdly blocks of land for instance , aren't really any dearer the the inland area l've been thinking about. That's a really nice small city too and area but it isn't coastal nowhere near.

So oddly, l could move upto our old main town and live in a v v nice coastal spot and town, lifestyle , for around the same price - go figure.

lt is isolated though one reason l left , not really much else after awhile but the town and area itself, not without driving a few hrs. Other smaller towns like mine but nothing where anything much is going on.

The inland area l'm thinking about is only and hr to Melb and has heaps of stuff going on in other towns too all around it.

Still , weird that you could move up to this v pretty coastal and v nice lifestyle small city for the same price.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

That does sound interesting, the coastal place. Could you try being there for a bit to get a feel for it? Sometimes spending at least a few weeks in a place can give you a better idea, talking to people, checking out local events, seeing how possible it might be to make connections etc. 

The inland spot sounds potentially good too. When I was in Victoria last year and thinking about moving there I was reading about some of the towns about an hour out of Melbourne. There were ones that seem to have good arts scenes with a lot going on, if you are into art, music etc. I was only in Melbourne for 5 days and on one of those days I took the train to Geelong. I thought about it as an alternative to Melbourne that was a bit less expensive but a short train ride away. But I also read up on other places out of Melbourne too. If I had more time there I would have explored some of those places.

It’s kind of exciting and interesting anyway exploring these things. A lot of coastal places now are very expensive, so it’s great if you can see a coastal spot that may be affordable. I guess check out all the pros and cons. You could also look at online reviews people have written about particular places to live. I checked out quite a few of those and of course they are just people’s opinions, but sometimes you do start to get a running theme with a lot of people saying the same thing about a place which can sometimes at least give you an idea.

It’s interesting to explore anyway. With regard to knowing neighbours, I do quite like knowing them but of course it depends on how easy they are to connect with. In Perth I rented in both low income rough suburbs and wealthy suburbs - 10 locations in total. Over and over again I had the friendliest experiences with neighbours in the low income suburbs, even though there were other issues such as higher crime rates, drug issues in the suburb etc. In the wealthy suburbs people kept to themselves more and were much less friendly. It was pretty socially interesting.

Anyway, all the best in exploring options,

ER

[randomxx]

Hi there er and thx for the thoughts.

Yeah l would've guessed straight off the lower income areas were friendlier, l've had a lot of experience with both myself too. l just like dte everyday working people best myself though and funny you mention the arts bc l was an artist 10yrs myself but even then still proffered just the everyday people. l didn't like the art scene much at all or the lifetyle of being an artists and l actually wound up  missing even envying my everyday working friends and that working life myself too and so l quite art. But yeah Melb wise there's a lot of art areas and towns really and the area l've been thinking about has a great people mix and art scenes too. l do still like being around people and area variety, lots of all sorts of property creations where l'm thinking of too and people from far and wide and l absolutely love all that stuff.

Unfortunately though our main town yeah , we've been using it sometimes everyday 15yrs , we're always there for something, as well as plenty of nights out there too and you name it. Tbh it's a beautiful town and area and a great size and pace too buttttt, it just gets very limited over time , a real local only thing. Sometimes being so way up there on it's own was a beautiful thing but that also ws what limited the people mix and anything much going on too - very little.

D and l both feel much the same we've often talked about it but unfortunately it always comes back to the same stuff. Damn shame really, but tis what it tis.

Neighours and people vary a lot don't they some love it some not. People across from my old place , lovely people , but man they knew the whole damn town and just couldn't get enough

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

It does sound like there’s some good options for places to live where there’s a wide range of people and things going on creatively. I think one thing I find a bit hard in my town is it is quite uniform and conservative. People can be rejected here for not complying. I met a nice person on a walk the other day and had a really good chat with her. She’s been here a bit over a decade. She said she’s seen people come and go because they didn’t fit in and were actually picked on by members of the community. She described there being a dark underbelly to the town. So I think ideally you want a place you can be yourself and have a sense of freedom. It sounds that an ideal place for you would be both down to earth in terms of the people but also have some creativity going on, especially as you are an artist and there might be opportunities to get back in touch with that side of yourself if you want to.

Your main town you have that 15 year connection with sounds a bit like here. It’s beautiful here too yet there is a sameness, a lack of people mix and not so much going on. I have felt isolated here, though I’m trying to find ways out of it. Anyway, I hope you keep enjoying the search.

Take care,

ER

[randomxx]

Well, l've haven't been completely closed to a few spots still over on the coast where we were only lower down if something affordable popped up. Totally different lower down, an hr and more closer to Melb so much more happening and people mix, but expensive.

Low and behold another block's come up over there now though in the most uniquest spot ever. D and l have been going there for yrs, about an hr down from where we lived , we've always loved it buttttt.Again it is a really small town itself but with 2 main very cool towns both 20mins away and incredible drives to either, like movie drives so pretty, unique .

Soooo, that's about 2hrs away from where l am right now, might have to spin over take a look, see if d and l can meet over there. The block and spot is an absolute classic.

Anywayyyy, yeah right . Your town sounds a lot like my old town. That was very local and families going way back too, know what your saying. People were quite  nice l can say that much but kinda pretty country though and also usually had their own circles and family around too-which l wouldn't usually even fit anyway. Always knew that buttttt, still , when d was older later we'd see how we feel.

kinda hoped something would fall into place for me there but it still wasn't happening unfortunately. Shame really.

Not to say it wouldn't for you though , do you see anyone around that look more like your people ?

Sometimes we're not the only fish outa water right .

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

That sounds exciting about the block you’ve just seen. It would definitely be worth having a look. Having two very cool towns only 20 minutes away would be great. You have the benefit of the peace and quiet of the smaller place but you have the benefits too of the other towns. It’s a bit like here where I do have a bigger town 30 minutes away and I’m grateful for that as it gives me access to more variety of activities, experiences and people. It would be lovely to have those movie drives you describe. I really hope you find somewhere that inspires you and you really connect with.

Yes, my town here is also characterised by many families who go way back. The lovely person I met the other day was telling me it is usually some of those people who will reject certain newcomers who are seen as not fitting in. Having said that, I have found plenty of long timers here friendly, but there is still a kind of conservatism or distance where you feel like you are in a separate world to them. It’s hard to put into words. The nice woman I met has suggested we catch up for coffee so I feel like I may have connected with someone on a similar wavelength, especially as we talked for about an hour the other day when previously complete strangers. I’ve found it so hard to connect here which is partly due to me as my mental and physical health were not good when I arrived and so I was on the reclusive side. But this person I spoke to the other day said it can be hard to belong here too. I do love people and want to feel connection. I just think maybe I am getting there very slowly.

Have an awesome day rx,

er

[randomxx]

Haa thku er , you have an awesome one too hey.

Too hot today l'm kickin back. Really nice that you've met her , it only takes one or two and what a difference that can make and spin off into who knows where from there sometimes too right No need for the words though know all about it too l can say , l'd probably blow 95% of them away actually in my old town. My music or art would be too much alone but l just kept things simple in the day to day people stuff with most and that worked ok for getting by bu. Mind you, there were still a few around though l just wasn't lucky enough to meet them, except  servo girl. She was a lot like me and not from there either but there ya go , she'd still eventually found her place and was happy as, which could happen to anyone else too right , even er. Just never do know  but l hope you get to see here again and talk more , go for coffees or whatever you do.

At least you haven't put yourself under any pressures so you can go with things for now until whatever else right.

How did you come back from Town feeling anyway ?

But yeah this block , like l'm hardly even looking right now at all tbh l just couldn't resist a wittle peak and this one came up - that's typical me l have a nose for property ha ha.

But yeah it's so unique and the town although small does get heaps of tourist passing traveling all along the Great Ocean rd , in such a small spot l like that they stop for coffees and the views and lunches and stuff but yet the block is over and away from all that and v private , ideal actually bc you could be around them or not however you liked.

But it's also rain forest and hills and so with being closer to Melb there's also heaps of lifestyle properties and people mix all through all that kind within around the town itself just not in it , which is my ultimate.

But anyway, getting way too carried away ha ha haven't even seen it, next wk maybe .

nice wkend er hey.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Thanks rx,

Yes, it’s good when we find those people we click with and we have a sense of trust with. Trust is a big thing for me. I had one local a while back pretend to be interested in me, sit down next to me in a cafe and asked me a bunch of personal questions about my life. I thought she was genuine and so I did share some things. Well it turned into gossip that got spread around and the last time I saw that person she couldn’t look me in the eye and basically ran away from me in the supermarket. So I knew she was guilty of the gossip. Whereas the woman I met the other day had a different energy and seemed a genuinely kind, trustworthy person. It’s finding those people we know are made of good isn’t it. I hope wherever you go you find such people. It would be great to perhaps make some connections with your art and music. I used to write songs and was part of some songwriting groups for a while. We’d write a song in between meets and then get to share it with the group. But we also did some collaborations too. It’s just good to feel a part of something.

Since getting back from the city I start to wonder if I am better off here in some ways and just doing regular visits to the city. Climate-wise it’s definitely more pleasant here than Perth which just seems to be getting hotter. I’m awake very early today and I’ve just been outside in the moonlight. It’s as still as anything and I can hear the waves crashing at the estuary. I really value the closeness to nature here and maybe that is a good thing for my soul.

The block you’ve found does sound quite ideal, being near to things yet with its own seclusion as well. I went along the Great Ocean Rd when I was 17. I found it beautiful. I loved the Otway Ranges and I remember going to Erskine Falls. It was the most beautiful waterfall I’ve seen. The areas of WA I’ve known are drier whereas there in the Otways it is so lush and with those beautiful tree ferns. It’s like proper rainforest which I’m not sure we really have here in WA, though the karri forest is a damper forest than some other areas here. If you had a good mix of people around too it does sound like a potentially great spot for you rx. I hope maybe you get to go and have a look this week or sometime soon anyway.

Have a great week!

ER