Depression - life

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

Some will know l've had my ups and downs for sure but l wanted to start this as a new and separate thread bc the old one wound up all about gf ex.

Just for the most that won't know though and happen to drop in, l got rid of of my place 6mths back and went caravaning 51/2 mths, just couldn't deal with another place at the time and just felt like a bloody good break and rest first.

Wasn't sure how l'd feel about it but it wasn't bad and at times really nice just being free for a bit but later 50s there were also the worries of what to do when l get back. Well back now is too my other place it's not really that l had two houses the second one is just a country block with a cabin in a tiny town that l just rent out, never lived there. Well the tenant moved out so that's where l've come back to, l need to fix it up and sell it toward my new place.

This little town this whole thing , not doing me any good at all in this stage of life. l did have to get out of my other place don't regret it it had to be done but it's just been such a huge last 10yrs or so. Divorce and all thenlater on just broken up with later new gf now ex just last yr and now all this and here l am in this place- and then l'll be somewhere else to where l'm thinking of moving to, maybe even building . lf so it'll only be small and minimalist buttt, ldk

Just feel like total bs it's all too much and it's like what in the hell am l even doing especially here right now and at this age but ldk how else l could've done things.l had to get out of my last place, l have to be here to fix up this one and it's somewhere at least to stay, it'll be  a few mths.

Been coming here 20yrs keeping this place up and all the same people are still here couples been together and still here all that time and still sitting in their homes watching tv and doing their lives together.

The total opposite lives to mine and now l;m even single and here doing this and then wherever later restarting again andddd, it's all just sooooo, words l can't use here.

rx

[randomxx]

Hey er.

No worries at all but if you don't mind due to personal reasons l don't get involve in that sort of thing, l'm glad your finding some answers and solace though.

All the best

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Yes, no worries rx, thank you. I hope you have a great day today. It’s a bit cooler here this morning which is lovely. Best wishes, er

[therising]

Hi Rx and Eagle Ray

I can completely understand why people go for a 'tree change' or sea change' lifestyle. Myself, I'm more a tree kinda gal. Throw in a lake with a kayak and that would be my heaven on earth. Give me those beautiful clear stars at night, the sound of the wind through the trees, the peaceful atmosphere and the choice to go for a bit of a drive to find where some high energy's happening (cafe, restaurant, market etc). My happy time here in Melbourne is at around 4 in the morning when it's quiet and I can sit outside with a coffee and my laptop. So peaceful.

Sometimes there's that feel or calling for a change of lifestyle. I suppose the question is 'How to make elements of that lifestyle priority habits?'. There's always something that needs doing, that comes before the little things that can serve us well. I'd love to develop the habit of going to the Dandenongs at least once a fortnight, for breakfast and a bit of a hike through the trees. I'd love to develop the habit of taking photos and marveling at so many of the things we can miss in nature (the incredible colours, the creatures and more). I think to be able to do such things we have to put ourself first. It's hard to get out of certain habits. If someone's suffering, easing their sufferance takes priority. If an income needs to be generated, work takes priority. If there's little food in the house, shopping takes priority. And if there's little energy left, sleep takes priority. It's kind of crazy, hey, how people take annual leave to be able to do what they really want to do. Recreational activities or constant re-creation of ourself (through what we thrive on) should happen regularly throughout the year, not just once a year.

Any tips on how to prioritise in new ways, so as to gradually create a new lifestyle or style of life?

[randomxx]

Hi there rising.

Nope never believed in annual leave, a few wks hols a yr or mths every whatever it is these days, would never be enough for me.

l've always believed and have made a point of living this way but life should be a part of my life , not some sill few wks, and so l've always had a business and work it in the way that l can do life too anytime l want.

l know that's different again though with a family and all the obligations and chores that come with it , have lived that too.

My mum , and we had a huge family , over 10 , started taking off up the country on drives a few hrs but eventually up to the family wkend property and l don't blame her, poor thing needed the brake v badly. She started staying away longer and eventually would often stay up there over night we'd know the signs, no notes, or sometimes teas in the oven or something, we'd just go into autodrive and fending for ourselves.

For you , baby steps too maybe. Go up one Sunday for example and when you feel like it again go on another and before long you might even like to make it routine. They'll get use to it. Even shop around for that camera. 

To me life should be part of life, yaknow, but it often needs a budge- or there's always something .

[therising]

Thanks rx

I very much appreciate the guidance, inspiration and having my imagination triggered. You've actually led me to realise one of the reasons why this doesn't come as second nature to me. I wasn't raised as a kid to go on regular adventures or drives for a change of scenery. While some continue the habit from when they were young, some have to develop the habit. Call me a late developer 😁

Thanks again for raising me and my consciousness. Onward and upwards, graduating to new levels of living, while feeling gratitude toward those who help us graduate.

[quirkywords]

Random just discovered your thread. Saying hello and will catch of all the posts. Take care. 

[randomxx]

Hey quirk and thx for that, appreciated.

But ahh, as l was saying earlier l'l prob just let this one fizzle out anyway tbh. Thought it might help talking through my stuff going on but tbh, l've thought of late now, l think l'd just rather get on with things and life instead atm, yaknow.

So no dramas.

Take care

rx

[randomxx]

Hey er , just dropping in to see how things went for you down town.

Back home now or ? Hope it all went ok.

At this end l'm done here now and hopefully outa here and off again next wk. Can't wait although a bit nervous too . Can't wait to drive out of the town though l know that much.

Had the real estate agent out this morng and the property is now on the market, so pleased. Mind you he said it's always hard to tell with an area like this but mine has a lot going for it and he thinks it'll go well sooooo, here's hoping eh.

All the best

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

Thank you, I am doing pretty ok. My trip to the city helped me identify the area I was in as having potential as a future home, but I'm still not sure. I feel I need a greater sense of connection with people first, where my community of people might actually be, so to speak. I may be a bit far out at that location from people I'm connected with already in the city. I didn't catch up in person with one of my friends as planned. I was still processing a lot of grief-related stuff and in an unusual space. But I will follow up contacting him in the next few weeks. I am feeling coherent at the moment, like a lot of things are healing in me, and I'm moving towards being more connected with the world than I have been for a long time. But I'm easing my way back into that, as I feel able.

That's fantastic you are done at the current property! It must be a good feeling to know you can be off again pretty soon. Are you feeling like you know where the journey will take you next straight away, or are you going to just sort of see how you feel as you go? It's a bit of an adventure anyway. Life is open and interesting when things are not set in concrete. I hope you can have some sense of adventure and possibility. I'm sort of getting familiar myself with living with the unknown and that that can be good thing - just being open to possibility.

I'm glad you have that positive input from the real estate agent and so pleased that you are feeling pleased about having the property being on the market. I hope it all goes very well and sells sometime soon.

All the very best to you rx and always happy to hear how you are going on your journey,

ER

[randomxx]

Morng er.

Yeah being too far out can sometimes change a lot of things in the bigger cities can't it. In the county areas l find anyway , next town over or where ever not such a thing but in the cities that stuff and people can work a bit differently can't they.

But then there's the old property prices and differences too. You sound like your in a pretty good place though anyway with it all and comfortable letting things and thoughts just play out for now so that's a great way to be. l'm in a bit the same mind myself actually atm , trying not to let any self pressures creep in.

Hopefully you'll just catch up with the friend when the time's right too eh.

My end yeah know where l'm headed next , pretty well over to my new area actually. Although l still have a bit more time to do whatever really too if l wanted bc it's better financially if l still just hold of on a new place for a bit longer just for now anyway so won't be rushing into anything. Tony here had a good idea reckons if your done traveling about why not go over to my new area now if l'm ready and start life again. Not a bad idea really well, if l'm ready. Just bc l don't wanna buy anything right now doesn't mean l can't move over there though so that's the main thought from here.

Mind you , it's finally cooling down back up on the river now too, mid / high 20s and lots of beautiful sunshine this time of yr up there now for the next few mths, loveeellly. A slight detour for awhile first could be on the cards ha ha buttt, thinkin about it. Doubt l will though don't think l'm feeling it, like an old ground been there done that type thing, think l feel more like getting into real life again now and l'll prob just go with the first one and head over to the new area.

Thoughts for now anyway.

Hope your enjoying a rest up now back home anyway.

rx