Depression and anxiety - clear as mud

[Idonthaveanicname]

Hi, so it's obvious to me that I'm not well. But I don't have any close mates or friends that I feel comfortable talking to about it. Acquaintances more than anything.

I feel like a terrible person most of the time, constantly anger with everything, almost full blown rage. I feel like I'm going to explode. This morning I dropped my child off at school in tears because I went off about how long it took the to get ready for school - which in turn has lead me to tears for the first time in I don't know how long. My wife seems to think poking fun at me is a sport, and I haven't worked in months. Work is out there, I just can't get off my bum and outside to do it.

I'm hopeful that spilling a few things into the nether regions of the world wide web might make me somehow feel better.

To be clear, I don't have any suicidal thoughts, more just how useless I am, and why the heck can't I snap out of it

[james1]

Hello I don't have a nicname

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling and feel like you have no support, not even from your wife. I can hear a fair bit of anger and helplessness in what you have posted, and I understand you are just trying to find something which will help you get out of this state.

How have you found posting here? I imagine it would be a bit strange since you haven't been able to talk to any close friends about how you feel. Have you got a gp or any other doctor who, perhaps with that professional distance, could be an easier sound board for your thoughts and feelings?

In my own experience with depression, I find it a lot easier to talk to my psychologist than my friends, so I wonder if you would find the same.

James

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there

The best place to start is talking about it, so great you’ve found us here - welcome. I can relate to the anger youve talked about too. When things don’t feel right and you’re not sure what to do about it, yeah?

Hope to hear more from you. You’re very welcome here to chat about whatever you like. Katy

[geoff]

Hello, and welcome to the site.

It's certainly awful when you feel like this and you won't get any better while your wife is poking fun at you, I'm sorry to say, it only aggravates your situation and definitely how you are feeling, it's not a sport at all, and whether it's her way to try and get you into a work position, it's not going to stimulate you and only entice more anger which may be a secondary condition on how you are feeling.

You can only tease someone if you both appreciate the topic otherwise it may be known as bullying and make how you feel worse and this could be happening to make you have no desire to want to work.

We can talk to acquaintances but we may not have any follow up, in that, that's where the discussion ends, whereas if you have a true friend then the topic can be raised at any time, however, it's not that easy to make any person a friend, because trust has to be built between you.

You just can't snap out of it, if you could, that would everybody's dream, it's a process that does take some time and the reason for this is because the situation and our circumstances change hourly, daily or whenever.

Please come back.

Geoff.