Depression and Anxiety at work

[maggie23]

I am finding it really difficult to deal with my job as a primary school teacher while suffering depression AND anxiety. My mind is always in a state of chaos. My mind had the anxiety, so its spinning a million miles a minute, while my body has the depression and I lack the energy and motivation to do anything about the problems that I'm anxious about. It's a vicious cycle.
At school however it's really hard. The kids that I teach are very challenging, and I leave here almost every day tired, cranky, and doubting myself about my abilities. Can I do this? Am I doing a good job? Do the kids even like me? Maybe I should just go and teach somewhere else, somewhere easier. But I know in my mind that it is a hard job, and that a lot of the staff here struggle, it is a hard school. And I have only been teaching for 3 terms. I'm only 24, I'm fresh out of uni, and I picked one of the hardest places to teach. I've been sworn at by students, called every name you can think of, they mock me, they don't listen, and they are disrespectful. It is so hard to keep coming back here. But the staff here are amazing, I have made some really good friends, so I don't want to leave. I just don't know if I can do this. I worry that the higher up execs are looking at me drowning and talking about me behind my back, saying that I can't cut it, and that they should never have given me the job. I have a lot of self doubt. I've been a sufferer of depression and anxiety for 8 years. I am on medication to help me, I have seen a psychologist before, and she really helped. I know that the things going on in my head is my "pathological critique" talking. Saying terrible things to me. I know I just need to tell it to shut up, but it's so hard when I just don't have the energy at the moment.

Does anyone have any coping strategies that they use while they are at work to get through the day/week?

[MarkJT]

Maggie, welcome to the forums and thank you for posting. It is great to see first posters come here as it takes courage to post and really shows that people are wanting to do something about their mental health.

How long has it been since you saw the psych? If it has been a fair while you probably should go back and have some more sessions. Maintaining good mental health takes time and effort and also if we do not maintain it, we can relapse somewhat.

Are you happy with the meds that you are on?

Have you tried mindfulness for the anxiety? If you have not as yet, i strongly suggest that you download the "Smiling Mind" app, get up 15 mins earlier and do a session every morning. Mindfulness is brilliant and I do it just about every day to keep my anxiety at bay and to also calm me when i feel an attack coming on.

Self doubt is a really hard thing to overcome. I used to have it massively but have started to get on top of it. A lot of this is through mindfulness and being kind to myself when i need to be, i.e. not being so critical of myself. This won't change overnight but a few "well done's" to oneself certainly helps. Even if it is something as small as you made the bed really well, sit back, look at it and tell yourself that you did a good job. Small things add up.

Let me know about the questions above and see if we can get you more confident and in control.

Mark.

[CMF]

Hi Maggie,

I think Mark covered off pretty well on some ideas for you but i just wanted to say take my hat off to you. I have 3 children and I suffer anxiety. I struggle so much to deal with the kids when my anxiety is up, let alone a class full of what appears to be high maintenance children. You are a gem dealing with these children. Easier said than done but don't doubt yourself and your ability, it is you anxiety/depression talking and so is the worry that the execs are talking about you. You got that job because you are good enough.

If you can start by going back to your gp/psych I think that would be great.

Take care

cmf

[silverfox1964]

Gday Maggie

I have only found this site tonight and this is my first mental heath forum post, let me first salute you on your post great courage. I have been suffering Depression and Anxiety due to chronic pain, compounded by my career coming to an end. That being said i totally agree with Mark and cmf keeping regular visits with your psych is important as its a great way for you to of load all your stressors and Mindfulness is a great tool for resetting your focus. What helps me with self doubt and telling the brain to "shut up" are 2 fold, I NAME verbally the emotion (which takes its power a way) I then say im going to park that emotion (and NAME it again) and say that I am going to be the best i can be here in the moment, it takes practice but it really helps me. Secondly i have been introduced to Yoga Nidra, which is like mindfulness on steroids (lol) it involves a directed total relaxation but remaining conscious, while body scanning and affirmation. I know it sounds very hippy BUT i find it helps me take control. there are apps for your phone and heaps of stuff on the internet, there is also loads of scientific evidence on both those tools that they do help control the brain and create new neuro pathways. I'm on medication but my goal is to get off it. I hope you find this useful.

All the best

Silverfox1964