Depressed mummy

[Lambo]

I struggle getting out of bed everyday. I hear the kids awake, often crying in their rooms having been awake for some time. I feel like a failure. A terrible mother. A pathetic and worthless human. I always plan to get up early and do workouts before the kids wake up but that only happens about once a week. I know I am fully capable to do the things I want to do but it is so hard to bring myself to do them.

My oldest is two and second 9 months. I find myself wishing I didnt have to be a mum anymore more times than I like to admit. I love my kids to pieces ofcourse but I never realised it would be so hard. My hubby will play with the kids but doesn't help out often.

I feel like I have no purpose. I don't contribute anything. I wish I could put the kids in daycare and work but that isn't an option for another 6 months at least.

I hate talking face to face about how I feel. Husband thinks it's just something I can get over if I want to. Sometimes there only seems to be 2 options. End it or leave and be a single mum. It's so hard to love when emotions don't come easy. I'm lost and don't know where to go. Any advice?

[Julz01]

Hi Lambo

sorry to hear you are not feeling so great but glad you reached out here.

Have you spoken to you GP about the feelings you are having. GPs always a good place to start. I was diagnosed with post natal depression when my youngest was 8 months old. I actually broke down at the Early Childhood Clinic, another good place to start, and the nurse quickly contacted my GP.

You said you don't like to discuss face to face but if you find a counsellor you can relate to it does help. I am sorry your husband does not understand but maybe if you speak to your GP you could get him to talk to your husband.

you are doing a great job as a Mum & don't doubt that. Your kids need you & will always love you.

i hope you find the help you need

Julz

[Croix]

Dear Lambo~

There is a third option you know, and that is to get help. Your tone and thoughts sound very much like I have when I've been depressed (though the circumstances were very different). Actually a fair number of new mothers (and 9 months is new) go though similar problems. With the right support most respond quickly and well, having a happier life back again.

I know you said you did not like talking face to face so I'd suggest booking a long appointment with your GP and setting out how you feel. The easiest way (I found anyway) was to write it all down first at your leisure, no need for great writing skills, dot point is just fine. Then share the paper in the consultation. See what happens next.

beyondblue has some information in The Facts Menu above, try starting here:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/postnatal-depression

I'm sorry your husband is not much help, either with the kids or with your current state. There is no way one can 'think' themselves better from illness, either mental or physical, and it is downright silly to expect it.

You are a sensitive caring adult and have a lifetime of purpose ahead of you. Being the mother of young children, despite loving them, is very hard at the best of times. Maybe if your husband read The Facts too, or went to your GP after you then he might understand more and behave differently.

Apart from him do you have anyone else to support you? A parent or friend? It can make a big difference about how you feel, and maybe help on a practical level too. You are not exhibiting weakness or anything like that and do need help to get better

If you find the whole situation getting on top of you think about ringing our 24/7 Help Line on 300 22 4636. It's no big deal to do and the friendly professional staff are there to help.

Please post again and say how you are going

Croix