Depressed due to jobless

[Leon_]

Hi guys, my name is Leon and am just graduated from university December last year. I felt so proud and happy from this and so is my family. I feel so alive. From that time, I tried to find a job here in Melbourne, but I can't get any luck with that, mostly because none of them accepts non-citizen or permanent residence. I feel depressed due to this, because I felt like my family really wanted me to be able to succeed here. Am I exaggerate anything? I know I could just go back to my home country and find a job there. But I'm so afraid that I disappoint everyone that have put such high hope to me. I feel like a failure all the time these past few weeks, and I thought that this forum could help me communicate with people out there other than my family, because I am afraid that I will worry my family and friends if I told them how depressed I am.

I thought about suicide multiple times, however I believe that is not an option and will never be. I hope this forum could help me talk about these problems so I could get back on my feet and keep looking for jobs, hopefully finding one.

[Croix]

Dear Leon~

First off congratulations on passing at uni. Really speaking that is the big thing - not your current lack of a job. To go though years of study and deal with it all -and pass - is an achievement that will be with you all of your life.

You have already met any expectations your family might have had.

Now there are two problems facing you at the moment, and I'll deal with the most important first (even if you think my priorities are wrong). Having thoughts of killing yourself, even if you think it unlikely, is a big warning flag that something needs to be done. This means medical help.

Please go see your doctor and set out how you have been feeling. Doing that is hard, even fronting up is hard. Saying how you have felt is harder and the urge to minimize or simply leave out those suicidal thoughts is very great. Please be honest, that way the proper problem will get the proper treatment. Write it all down first if you need to.

As for worrying you family or friends. While some might not be appropriate you may well be surprised at the strength of others - I was. Is there anyone you feel you might be frank with? Soldiering on in isolation simply makes everything that much harder and you need things to be as easy on you as possible at the moment.

Medical support plus personal support is the ideal - it is what I had, still do as a matter of fact. It works, I'm good.

Now the other problem is employment. Getting a job is in itself a really hard thing, applications then rejections - or silence which is worse. Under those circumstances it is easy to lose perspective and think it is down to you, a fault of yours, be it nationality or something else.

The job situation is an economic thing, not personal. Can I suggest two things? First get a firm who specializes in getting jobs in your field to help.

The second, and this is important, is to try to make your life into two separate areas. So many hours per day on jobseekeng - maybe the mornings. The rest of the day leave it strictly alone. Have things to enjoy, be productive doing, a change for the mind. This gives hope, perspective and balance.

I'd like it if you came back and talked more

Croix

[smallwolf]

Hi Leon,

welcome to beyond blue.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am listening. It takes courage to be vulnerable to post here what is happening you with real honesty.

After my wife graduated (back in the 90s) it took a long time for her to get a teaching job. I am not trying to do a comparison, but wanted you to know that you are not alone. I remember at the time she wondered if she would ever find a job, and I was her support during this time, but it can be tough.

So what can you do? Have you tried putting your name into to job agencies and see if they can find any positions for you?

Or are you looking for any sort of work at the moment?

I noticed you said that felt like your family wants to succeed here. Have you spoken to them about this? Would you like to go home and get a job? Are you doing this for yourself or your family?

I hope you don't mind the questions. Sorry.

As someone who has talked to their family about depression, I understand your concerns. But I also hope the would show concern vs being too worried. When I spoke to my parents and wife about my depression, all I got was concern and love back. I would also find out about dad and some of his friends being depressed also. So you are not alone in your thoughts.

I hope you come back and share more of your story. Where are you from? What degree? What do you want to do? Maybe find a solution?

Peace to you,

Tim

[Chestburster]

Hi Leon, thanks for taking courage to share your story. I was also once an international student who had trouble getting a job relevant to my study and ended up having depression, so I understand your pain and frustration.

Firstly, please don't be too harsh on yourself. Completing university is an achievement by itself. Your self worth isn't measured by whether you're unemployed or not. You're not defined by your job.

Job search can be perceived as a simple numbers game. The more applications and networking one does, the more probable a suitable job will present itself.

There are many factors that go into a recruiter's considerations. Even as you progress through your career, you will still experience many rejections. Please don't take it personally and focus on doing the best you can.

Re job search, aside from getting in touch with job agencies and networking, I'd highly recommend volunteering in a role relevant to your study. While there's no monetary reward, you will gain transferrable skills and experience you can put on your resume and talk about at interviews and meet people who may become your referrees.

I used to volunteer one day each week while I worked two other paying jobs for a year, which helped me land my first real job.

Also, don't shy away from jobs that aren't relevant to your study, as they may open doors. I used to work as a (paid) labourer, which led to a professional freelance job after earning my bosses' trust.

I'm glad you're being opened about your suicidal thoughts. I'd suggest doing exercise and meditation when you feel overburdened and if necessary, seek professional help.

Please remember that life is precious and as hard as your circumstances are, these too will eventually pass. One day you will look back and be proud of what you've managed to overcome.

Please let us know how you go.